Lu Posts On: "White Sox Envy Syndrome", The Maury Show, New Years, The Drex Show, etc.

Ahhh, long time no post. Well, not really, but it's been a while since I've posted with something of substance....I use the word "substance" loosely knowing that the stuff I write here randomly is basically crap. Anywhoo, it ain't gonna stop me from a classic blog of randomness.

• NEW YEAR'S EVE: Between celebrating NYE and V-Day, the winter season is chock-full of "holidays" I'd rather not celebrate. I'm not a fan of NYE b/c I've never gotten the "first kiss of the New Year" and I'll be honest, it bugs me. Also there's just so much hype and stuff surrounding it. Personally, I'd rather just go to bed at midnight, but that's my personal preference and it was what I was gonna do at one point b/c my cousin was gonna go to a Wrigleyville bar with his g/f and crew to ring in the New Year until I reminded him that he said he'd hang w/me for NYE if I stayed in town instead of heading to C-Dale for the SIU/Wichita State game that would be played on New Year's Day. So instead, a get-together at the crib Sunday, coupled with the Bears-Packers Sunday Night game could add up to an interesting New Year's celebration. Still, the "first kiss of the New Year" is probably not forthcoming. I guess here is where I insert the punchline "my first kiss of the New Year was my last...." but I won't.
• The Maury Show: I love the Maury show, and why wouldn't I? How can you not love a show that gives you a free paternity test and a free trip to New York for being a whore and not knowing which one of 19 men is your baby's daddy. Or a show that sends misbehaving kids to bootcamp or to local prisons. Recently there was a classic Maury episode in which a 16 year old girl wanted to have a baby and she's been having unprotected sex with what she says at least 300 partners. What got me wasn't that...it was when she stated her life goals as the following "I want to drop out of school, have a kid and be on Girls Gone Wild" prompting this response from me "You've set the bar pretty high there young lady." Still, the paternity test episodes steal the show. And to be honest there should be no point of this show anymore. Seriously, you would think that people have seen this show enough not to try to be on it. I love it when the guests say "Maury I love the show." Obviously you don't because if you did you would've thought twice about sleeping with 18 other dudes besides ur bf/husband/fiancee, etc.....
• The Drex Show: The Drex Morning show is the best morning show on the radio, hands down. It wipes the floor with anything Carbondale has to offer, it's why I stream it live every morning before I go to class. Even the re-runs are great. Today's re-run had the topic "I'm jealous of my hot teenage daughter/my mom's jealous of my hot teenage self." It was classic, mothers were calling in about their daughters getting so much attention from boys and that boys didn't look that good when they were that age and that they wish they would've gotten that attention back then. Then there were the uber-cocky girls that were portraying their promiscuous ways that had their mothers jealous. It was cool until a 13....yes....13 year old girl called in talking about how her 35-year old mother would flirt with her boyfriends and wear her clothes which sparked another topic...."dating my teenage daughter" prompting another classic Lu quote "I'm not going to have a daughter and if I do one of two things is happening: I'm either leaving her on a mountain side or she's being homeschooled....and this ain't communist China so homeschooling it is." I'd hate to have a daughter because I know I'll be super-controlling and ultra-cautious with her. But it's not for the wrong reasons, I know too many heartbreaks out there that would have me in jail after what I would do to them if they broke my sweet daughters heart.
• WHITE SOX ENVY SYNDROME: "White Sox Envy" was a term coined by hosts and callers on 670 The Score (WSCR 670 AM) in Chicago after the White Sox won the World Series in 2005 in reference to jealous Cub fans. So what does this have to do with anything, well I might need to check in to a doctor because I have symptoms of WSES...or simply known as envy. Green isn't a good color on me....actually it is when it comes to clothes....but when it comes to jealousy and envy, not so much. I was never an envious or jealous person before I came to SIU, I'll say that right now. But really I'm envious of several people and of course it's magnified in the holiday season and will once again be magnafied on Valentine's Day. Seems that my old roommates are one-upping me in the game of love (insert memory of the song by Michelle Branch and Carlos Santana.) My most recent ex-roommate's ordeal was documented in previous blogs this year, but the shocker is my original roommate. My original roomie left SIU after 1 semester and didn't complete 2nd semester at community college which lead him to go to the National Guard. Now (actually I learned of this last Monday while on the train) I've come to learn that he is now engaged! *Sighs* It'd be an understatement to say that I'm shocked by this all, I never thought I'd see the day that he was engaged before I....or any other one of the group that has hung out since high school. But hey, I guess that's how you gotta do it. Find someone that can take your sh*t and lock 'em up....something I've failed to do. You can argue that I've had my chances and have blown them, I'd agree completely. Time to move on, heck it's been time to move on....can't help to think though, what coulda been. So now I sit here envious of my two ex-roommates, one of my current roommates and potentially another one of my roomie's if things play out in real life the way they play out in my mind. If that's the case, it could be an ugly Valentine's Day in my room. DAMN VALENTINE'S DAY BEING ON A WEDNESDAY!!!! But that's another post for another day.

Approaching 300 Posts, 2007

Ahhh, yes, more 2006 review. Good news is that this is the be all, end all of '06 review. But this isn't a top 10 list, though it's still a list, it's a list of things that I've learned in 2006 (with some explanation).

• It doesn't feel like a bag of sand. Love referencing movies, especially good movies. Especially movies that some would argue are eerily similar to my life. However, I did learn that it does not feel like a bag of sand.
• When in doubt, blame Steve. It's easy to blame someone who constantly disappeared when night fell, spent the last two weeks of the semester at the blue barracks working, only returning to power nap and eat (coincidentally when I cooked)
• Girls DO disappear. One of the funnier punchlines of the semester refers to a girl that I had asked on a psuedo-date to a basketball game after physics class, and never returned to class after that. Sad, but funny!
• Madden causes holes in walls. It's hard to explain the phemoena of holes strangely appearing after playing Madden 07.
• Rub the tummy. "Rubbing the tummy" is something I learned that it makes girls feel good, and I'm all about girls feeling good. Hope to apply this lesson learned in 2007.
• The Devil Wears Cowboy Boots. This is not a misprint, the devil wears cowboy boots; not Prada. An inside joke that everyone can relate to, and it's easy to adapt to your own situation. Maybe your devil does indeed wear Prada, or maybe a Duke jersey, or a Cardinals cap...everyone knows the Devil doesn't wear Cubbie blue!!!
• "It's good to be the Yankees." QUOTE OF THE YEAR!!!! Take it however you'd like because I'm sure there can be several interpretations. But look at it this way, the Yankees are amking money hand over fist and they're quite easy to hate. Unless you are the Yankees. It's good to be the Yankees because they can cover their mistakes, shortcomings and fuck ups by taking other teams' salaries and providing a stopgap and quick fix. I might not be able to use the whole Cubs referencing anymore with the whole Soriano signing, but it's still not Yankee money!
• When in doubt, write it out. 2006 was the year of the blogger and don't just take my word for it, bloggers were the people of the year according to TIME magazine. Time credits blogsites and sites like YouTube & TMZ.com for increased noteriety of opinions, news, thoughts and randomness. C'mon even Facebook has a blog type feature. Everyone's got a blog: newspaper columnists, musicians, team owners, ballplayers...everyone! Between blogging and poetry, there's a lotta writing goin on in my book!
• The best work I do comes after midnight. Yeah, I procrastinate, but my best poetry and writing in general came after FOX's Sunday Night Comedy block, Sunday Night Football on NBC and Viva La Sex were all over. In fact, my best thoughts come late night too, that's also assisted by a lil' bit of alcohol!
• "Hot, blonde & Southern...they way I like 'em." That could also be a candidate for quote of the year. It's easy to point out the kind of girls I like, and you can check my track record cuz that's how it's been since I came to SIU (coincedence, i think not.) My mom swears she'll disown me if I give her "hillbilly grandchildren." Jokes aside, it's not like I have bad taste in the hot, blonde and southern category. Examples include Jessica Simpson (she's not as dumb as she looks, she's rich for a reason) and Reese Witherspoon (my future wife who I admit looks better as a brunette and if you've seen Walk The Line, you'd agree.) Twang it!

THE BEST OF THE REST

• "Get yourself some white friends." Comedian Katt Williams has got it right. They've got good credit and having whtie friends gives you instant credibility that you're a half decent human being....or at least that's what it's supposed to do.
• Change of scenery does work. See Jeff Weaver, Preston Wilson and the '06 champion Cardinals. Look at me too, I'll admit to being a product of my environment.
• I love SIU hoops. Not like that's breaking news to anyone, but the "winter escape" makes the SIU Arena the second happiest place on earth, behind only Wrigley Field.
• Drink with company. Even if it's bad company, it's company nonetheless!
• Love and marriage aren't sacred anymore. Look at Hollywood, all those break ups. Look how TV has made a joke of relationships with reality television shows and pop culture in general has made the idea of love an absolute joke!
• Life Immitates Art. C'mon you've got a TV show called What About Brian? On ABC where the guy falls in love with his best friends girlfriend and all three of them were at one time friends and then their friendship needs repair when the couple breaks up....that premise is taken straight out of my blog. Songs like Bad Day by Daniel Powter, How to Save a Life, Over My Head & All At Once by The Fray, 4 minutes by Avant and the beat goes on.....c'mon people. I want my life back!!!!

AND FINALLY

There is a such thing as knowing too much. There's so much that I've learned this year that I can't repeat and won't repeat. Let's just hope we don't have a lot of that in 2007!

That's It, I'm All Out Of Year In Review Stuff

Seriously, no more Year In Review. Actually there's one more segment, and that's the lessons I've learned but that will be posted within this week. But instead of review, let's do a little preview here of things I'm looking forward to next year.

-OPENING DAY 2007: It's the sporting event I'm looking forward to the most, though that could change if the Bears make it to the Super Bowl. There's so much hype and expectations surrounding this team, especially with this off-season's acquisitions. Opening Day @ Wrigley is on a Monday, though I've vowed to make the trip for the first step towards the first championship in 98 years.
-My 21st B-Day: Hopefully I'll be spending it in Las Vegas, which is the most likely scenario. Turning 21 is probably the last major event that will happen in my life. Hopefully that thing called "marriage" is in my future, but age wise, 21 is the ultimate milestone. And what better place to celebrate than in Las Vegas, where I've had tons of fun under the age of 21 (lol that rhymes.)
-Valentine's Day 2007: If you've read this blog on previous V-Day's or you've read my rants about my love life, you're probably scratching your head reading that I'm looking forward to February 14th 2007. Hey, it'll be a new year and hope springs eternal and everyone knows I'm looking for someone new to fall in love with cuz this whole ordeal with me not getting over is killing me inside and making me an awful bitter and cynical person (though my mom finds it hilarious.) Coincidentally on February 14th, both the Cubs and myself will be looking for fresh, new beginnings in an attempt to release ourselves from the shackles of the past.
-March Madness: I love March Madness, I'm hoping that SIU can win the MVC outright in the regular season and win back-2-back MVC tourney championships. The talent is there and so is the experience. There's no reason not to believe that this team can't do it, and possibly make a deep run in the NCAA tourney.
-2nd Semester: I'm looking forward to 2nd semester. My grades were a reflection of myself as a hole in 2006. 2 A's, 1 D, 1 F. Not pretty, still not terrible. I just have to straighten out somethings and I'll be all good. I'm rededicated and refocused, and I'm in the right surroundings and the most important thing is that I'm settled. It's all about being comfortable.
-The Bears Playoff Run: Hopefully it lasts longer than last years which ended abruptly at the hands of the Carolina Panthers. This team is more well rounded and I have faith that this team is the team to beat in the NFC.
-Spring Break 2007: Most college students will be spending their SB in hot spots with even hotter co-eds. Not Lu however (though I want to do that whole drunken SB w/lotsa scoring thing.) I'll be in Chicago for Spring Break and what is the thing I most look forward to....SEEING JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE IN CONCERT!!!! Yes, Lu is going to see JT live and in the 11th row. Love it. I'm hoping that I can get a serious date for this thing, not one of those "friend dates" that I've fallen accustomed to. Instead, a real date, with an ending that doesn't involve "just friends."

I know I'm supposed to put a part where I write about how I'm gonna find the right girl, or the perfect girl, or a girl in general. Instead I'm shying away from the topic because while making "finding a girl" a top priority, I've failed in other aspects in my life. And yes, my clock is ticking, but I have faith (I don't know why, but I do) that some girl will come to her senses and see me for who I am, loveable Lu.

The Final Post Of This Semester

I'm not saying that this is the final post of the year, but this is probably the last post of the semester. And there usually is a big sigh of relief that comes with the end of the semester, but for me it's like I'd rather be hit in the face with a hammer and never come back to this place ever again. Yes, I'm committed to staying here, but at what cost? My happiness levels fluctuate daily (sometimes hourly), I put a lot of stress and pressure on myself to succeed (to no avail), and my personal life has done nothing but move in a negative direction since Valentine's Day 2005.

So where am I? What am I doing? I don't even know anymore. I know I feel like crap, and that's not just the stomach sickness that just hit me.

I believe (in fact, I'm sure) that most of my un-happiness is drawn from my social life, and sometimes lack of it. My failures and shortcomings in love have become well documented on this blog and it's kinda depressing to look back on the things I wrote and still not have moved on from certain events of the past. It's bothersome to think that someone like me still hasn't found somebody on a campus of 20,000 kids. And I'm not just feeding into my own ego, far from it. Everyone and their dog has had an opinion about how 'one day you'll find someone and they'll be perfect' or 'one day you'll make some girl really happy.' Between that and the almost inevitable 'let's just be friends' I'm mired in a slump....and really there's no explanation behind it. I'm honestly sick and tired of being on the outside looking in. And yes I've had my chances and admittedly I've blown them. And though I can easily point fingers, I'd rather not because pointing fingers is generally a cop out. Does Mariano Rivera bitch when the pitcher before him leaves runners in scoring postion that could win the game for the opposition. No, he doesn't. He takes the ball and fucking closes games out. I have been unable to "close games out" and that is the main contributor to my failure when it comes to girls.

And to be honest, this whole issue with girls has been going on all my life. You can start in grammar school, though really it shouldn't count. For me you can start in high school where every Valentine's Day since freshman year of HS has a depressing story of failure, rejection and depression. But really it didn't bog me down that much in high school because my grades still were good. Now my grades seem to be suffering like my personal life. Look at my last report card: A, B, D, D. That doesn't make any sense, now does it? My personal life and grades are going "Bi-Polar Betty," Jason Marquis style*. I can deal with a less than stellar social life if my grades are acceptable, but it seems like when it rains, it pours.

And then I can draw the comparisons from last year. I remember writing an earlier post in which I yearned for things to be like they were last year. I miss the old days. I miss the days where we could all get along and go out together and all that good stuff. And yes, things change, certain things have changed and it probably shouldn't have changed everyones friendships. But to be honest no one should be suprised, it's not like the writing wasn't on the wall. And the best thing is that everyone has a part to take when it comes to the blame game. Now will everyone, fess up to their end. Of course not. We're all youngsters who are prideful and sometimes egotistical. Personally, I'm not blind to my own insecurities and will take the blame (heck I give myself the most blame) just so others can get off scot-free. I digress, I'd love for the "old days" of just one year ago to be back. And sure I can point to you where it all began going down hill and point out where it hit rock bottom and such. But I won't. Why? Because we all know (individually) where it started to slip.

So what about next year? For Lu, it's back to the drawing board. A change of scenery is out of the question unless I completely bomb out in second semester. As for the grades, earlier this semester I put an effort to a recommittment to prioritizing. I came to SIU motivated, motivation that has since deteriorated. I need to find that motivation again, I don't know where it will be or where it will come from, but I'm sure it will re-emerge in some form. As for my personal life, like I said only a few sentences ago, I'd like to recommitt to prioritizing, though I acknowledge the difficult nature of that task. But I'm open to trying new things. Yes, the internet dating thing has now failed me twice. I can clearly point the finger at myself both times, though some would argue that I had less of a hand to play in the original, but at least in the most recent attempt I tried. It was my own doing, not a pass-me-down idea from someone else.

MY FINAL RANT ON LOVE IN 2006: The idea of true love is nice. That whole falling in love thing sounds great, far fetched, but great nonetheless. The idea of having someone who is your one and only someone/soul mate type person sounds great on paper. It also makes great Disney movies and great feature films and television shows while we're at it. However it's not as easy as the media makes it out to be. Generations have been taught that love happens naturally. People always say "that special someone will come" or that "it'll happen when the time is right" and of course "good things come to those who wait." Well I have news for you, those outlets are wrong. Nothing is guaranteed in life except death and taxes (and arguably the Cubs not winning the World Series) so the idea that someone special will come, instead should be changed to might come. What? I'm just being realistic. As for that whole timing issue, timing sucks. Especially for me, I'm horrible at playing that timing game. It's why I often reference having a time machine. I'm also really bad at taking "signs" also contributing to my failure with women. Oh and about that idea that "good things come to those who wait," I can easily disprove that. There are several girls that I waited for....and well technically you can say that I still wait. Instead that should be changed to "yeah good things MIGHT come to those that wait, but BETTER things come to those who go out and get them." For my final reference, I'll go back to last year when someone sat on their hands while they watched someone who had no business in that situation get what they want. Maybe it's time for me to take that approach. Hopefully, it's not too little too late.

Oh yeah and I must make a note that there is one more Year In Review segment, but that will be posted retroactively to Wednesday as soon as I put finishing touches on it.

*indicates a reference to the nickname given to former Cards, now Cubs starter Jason Marquis. Cards' fans dubbed Marquis "Bi-Polar Betty" because of his inconsistencies from start to start. That will fit in perfectly with this blog, and with Cubdom as well.