So my assignment for my poetry (ENGL 382A) class was to revise one of my poems. Well I've decided to re-work all of them. Here's one of my favorites, called 'Gone.' The original assignment called forthe following: "try for at least one line break that generates suprise or irony. Include the name of someone you haven't seen in several years; a kitchen appliance; an article of clothing; the name of a street, newspaper, song or movie; one line about a town you've never lived in, and any three of the following words: mucus, tongue, sprawling, relaxed, maniacal, wrinkle, and spinach." I used longer lines and different vocabulary than what I usually would use. Compared to the original version, I changed up some of the line breaks, added some words here and subtracted some there to clarify some things and give a little more of a visual. In addition, I used some of the quirks that I tend to use in all of my poetry to give it that 'Lu' feel. Well here's the finished product, Gone.
by Luis C. Medina
In bed with my Tribune, abruptly awaken by an alarm,
damn buzzer on the stove won’t turn itself off.
‘Get it Meg!’ I yell, but Meg is long gone,
once sprawled next to me, now she’s dashing
down Grand Avenue with my favorite sweater, ball cap
and roommate to boot. None of which I will miss
as much as her shining eyes, striking smile or supple tongue.
I remember her saying that
‘Atlanta’s real purty in the fall.’The Devil Went Down To Georgia, go figure.
Your comments and input are greatly apprectiated. I'll post #2 within the next few days, if not tomorrow!
P.S. With finals week coming, you know that my year end review is around the corner. But I've tweaked the format. But we'll cross that bridge when we get to it!