Thursday, January 12, 2006

I Have Thoughts About Beauty & The Geek

If there's one thing I love, it is television. I also love when television teaches me things. As I struggle through being single and all the crap that comes with the territory, I decided to watch Beauty & The Geek 2 just to see whats up. Another thing I love is reality shows, especially ones that I can potentially take something useful out of. I also like being entertained, so that's another reason I turned on the TV to 'Beauty.' So let's see what I learned. Well, throughout the show, I continually muttered to myself things I would do in that situation and things I would change about the guys. Then I realized something, I'm in a MUCH better situation than they are when it comes to women. Sure these guys are GEEKS not in the (well lemme check that) not all of them are in the Trekkie mode cuz some of these guys are MIT graduates and geniuses and things like that and they'll make more money than I can ever dream of most likely. But I have some sense of style, I have some sense of pop culture and I have an ounce of confidence which mnost of these guys don't have. And that's odd to say because usually I don't have confidence but after watching the show tonight I have no reason not to have confidence because I have a lot going for me.....Let's see what else did I learn. Oh, they got a token black girl on there. I feel bad for her dude cuz they've already shaved weird ghetto patterns into his beard and she fits a stereotypical bougie black girl. Some call her hood rich, I wouldn't. Evidence you ask for well here it is: they showed her a picture of John Kerry and asked her who is this failed presidential candidate. And she had no clue and what came to my mind (of course she doesn't have a clue because she probably didn't vote, and why because black people don't vote, there's your proof!) And as racist and as bad as that sounds, look at the numbers and the numbers show not only blacks, but minorities as a total don't vote. And I don't have a reason why. I digress. That political rant was brought to you by The Richard M. Daley Political School of Thought. Running the Chi as a King since 1989......I also learned things about women and how they look at guys and how insecure I can be, they can be too. And how sometimes all I need is a little pick me up, they need it too and they appreciate it as much as I do. There's something I can work on. I'm hoping I can figure to learn more as the show goes on. Let's see trying to figure out what else I learned. Well as my mind forgets what I learned unfortunatley, I'll know to watch this show with a yellow pad in hand next time when I watch to take notes.
FINAL THOUGHT ON THE SHOW: There was one more thing I wanted to mention about what I learned from the show. I learned that I can change. I learned that I don't necessarily need to be stuck in the mindset where I'm always gonna fail. I don't need to live in the past where my failures still haunt me and seemingly keep me down. I see that these guys are trying something new to freshen things up and to give things a chance. I, presonally, am ready to give things a chance! Time for a fresh look and a new me. Get 'em Luie

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

A Look Back, A Look Forward: I'm Just Lookin, Thanks For Askin

Well folks I was bored and tired and decided to take a look back at some things from last years blog. Specifically, I took a look at my new years resolutions. I wanted to see if I succeeded in them. Here are the answers:

Do Better at School: Yes and No! Second semester freshman year was great: an A in poetry, a B in english, a C in world civilization, a C in health and a B in american history. This semester an A in english, a D in philosophy, and i failed math and geology. Hopefully both semesters in 06 are friendly to me.
Be a Better Person: INCOMPLETE. Upon further review, I remained as friendly and as kind as ever, but I am still easily upset and was easily put into a tailspin with several strings of bad luck. I look to improve on that this year
Get a job at school: No! I failed and failed miserably, hoping for a job but honestly I don't mind not working at school. I'm under enough stress, I really don't need anymore that comes with a jobA more personal goal of mine is to get a job at school.
I Want to Forgive and Forget: Another incomplete. I have forgiven the wrongs that have been done, but I can't forget. Why should I, because everything and everyone that have let me down only makes me stronger. You should always remember your past but don't let it affect the future.
And finally, the goal of every college male that hasn't gotten any is simple. Go out and get laid: I guess if you don't read this blog (and honestly I don't know who does) I didn't accomplish this goal. In fact I'm still girlfriendless. I've gone through several changes of hearts since the new year's post of 2005. I've gone through a few crushes, a mini-bout with depression, I've seen relationships blossom and flop in front of my face, I've seen friends go through the ups and downs and I've taken it all in. I went through a phase in which I didn't know where I want, followed by a reassuring of what I wanted, and then I questioned myself. I've seen the crushes I've had go by the wayside and move on and away from me, making me question myself, doubt myself and basically dig my own ditch. Getting laid, isn't necessarily the least of my concerns, because honestly I'm sick of being the joke, I'm sick of the stupidity and I'm sick and tired of taking it from my friends. But lets face it, you gotta crawl before you walk. Let's work on a girlfriend first.


With all of that said in the past, I guess you have to move on because the future just might move on without you. With all that said here are my "New Year's Resolutions":
  • Happiness is key: not just happiness, but pure happiness and happiness with my self. I need to live life in a way where I am my first priority. I want to make myself happy before I make anyone else happy. For years I've been putting everyone elses needs in front of my own. I hope that ends this year.
  • Not everything revolves around sports: this will be the hardest most unattainable goal. Sure sports is my escape and my happy spot. My highlight of last semester was the SIU confrence championship. Wrigley Field is commonly referred to as home, or my Graceland. But I can't let my life revolve itself around that. I have to expand my horizons to find several happy spaces, to find several escapes. Maybe that will help me be happy.
  • Better grades: is a given looking at last semesters grades. I resolved to do this last year and it lasted for only one semester. Let's see if we can put to consecutive good semesters together
  • Get a car: I need a car, because mom's not gonna let me use the impala year round and that means I'll lose my big money job at Gage Park HS over the summer. I'll be on the car hunt this spring to be able to drive to work starting in July.
  • Be more out going: by that I mean I want to go out there and meet people (especially girls, specifically, pretty girls) so I can make friends, and take friendships and evolve them somehow into relationships. I'm gonna be more open to people.
  • Less depression: this will be hard, possibly the hardest, especially knowing my past and how it usually comes back to haunt me at the worst times. When it comes to this resolution I promise to be good on Valentine's day. I'll be drunk, but I won't be stupid or desperate.
  • Live life to the fullest: I was reminded of my mortality several times last year. From the sudden deaths of Roy's brother and sister, mom's co-worker, my friend Mike's mom, and seperate car accidents involving my best friend and one involving me (seperated by a week) you can't take this life for granted becasue you only get one (as far as i know.) And then I think about the tsunami, the earthquake and Katrina and I think to myself 'I better take advantage of what I have in front of me, because you never know when it will be all gone.'

Good night and a pleasant tomorrow!