Let's Play Imaginary GM

Since the Cubs are doing absolutely nothing this offseason, while everyone else, for better or for worse, is doing stuff. From the expected moves from the Yankees, Mets and Giants to the unexpected Washington Nationals, Cincinnati Reds and White Sox. YIKES! So, since I'm bored and have nothing better to do, let's play imaginary GM.
Let the games begin:
First, we're re-signing Nomar and putting him at 2nd base. Then, we're signing Edgar Renteria away from the St. Louis Cardinals and he's playing shortstop. We're signing Carlos Beltran and playing him in center and moving Corey Patterson to right field. Then, here comes the fun part, trading Sammy Sosa. Now, there is one outfield spot left, and this is how we fill it. In a bizarre 4 team trade that includes the Reds-Cubs-Yankees-and-Diamondbacks that only Billy Beane could pull off, the Cubs unload Sammy. To make it easy for everyone here's what team gets who. The Cubs get Kevin Brown (to fill the closer role) and Ken Griffey Jr. (to play left field.) The Yankees get Randy Johnson and Sammy Sosa. The Diamondbacks get Javy Vazquez and Kyle Farnsworth. The Reds get the two top prospects that the Yankees have and cash (from both the Yankees and the Cubs and a highlight video of Steve Stone's greatest hits. Since the Cubs have no 5th starter, they sign PEDRO to fill that slot. That's it, that is the moves I'd make. Now, let's take a look at the starting line-up for your Chicago Cubs (if I was the GM).

1. Edgar Renteria SS
2. Ken Griffey Jr. LF
3. Nomar Garciaparra 2B
4. Carlos Beltran CF
5. Aramis Ramirez 3B
6. Derek Lee 1B
7. Corey Patterson RF
8. Michael Barrett C

Nice looking line-up from top to bottom. Speed at the top with Renteria, there's your lead off man. Griffey is the perfect 2 hitter. He'll hit 30 homeruns and hit .300 if he stays healthy. The best middle of the order in Cubs history with Nomar-Carlos-and-Ramirez. And the bottom of the order is great too.

Let's take a look at the pitching staff- Prior-Wood-Zambrano-Maddux-Glendon Rusch are your starters. Your bullpen is like this: Ohman-Wellemeyer-Borowski-Hawkins-Remlinger-Kevin Brown is the closer.

2004: The Year In Review

2004 was a crazy year for me. To recap it totally would be an insane idea that would take up a little bit too much time for me. But I guess I can recap some highs and lows of this year. I guess I can start on a personal level. The year started like it usually does. In my basement on New Year's Day, it was cold outside and I did nothing. I'm not a big fan of going outside and freezing my balls off to celebrate a New Year. Hell, most days my lazy ass doesn't wanna get up and celebrate a new day. Shit, if we celebrate a new year, why not celebrate a new month everymonth. It'll give us all a good excuse to drink. Let's move to February now. February was cool because the Chicago Auto Show gave me a reason to cut school on Valentine's Day. Not only do I hate Valentine's Day for reasons earlier stated in another post, but I love cars. That was my fave day in February. It was me, my brother-in-law and a friend of his. We marveled at the 2005 Corvette, the Maybach. And the grand prize was pimpin the 05 Cadillac Escalade ESV sound system. 8 speaker Bose stereo, top of the line. With 2 10 inch subwoofers in the back...STANDARD! My kinda ride. Then the gang-bangers heard the system and all huddled around the Caddy and that was my cue to exit. February also marked my favorite time of the year, Pitchers and Catchers Report means one thing: HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL. The Cubs signed Greg Maddux, therefore, giving me everything I wanted for Christmas. March was boring, yet still full of hype because Spring Training was in full effect and the Cubs had hit their stride even though Prior was hurt. Woody went 5-0 and was dominating. I thought it was a sign of things to come. April, I spent a lot of time at Wrigley Field. I went to 4 of the first 5 games. I saw Matt Clement dominate in a game shortened by me having to go to work for 49 cent cheeseburger day. The next day, Bleacher Creatures and I assisted in a misplayed ball in left field by the often and easily heckled Raul Mondesi. He left in the 6th inning after he had enough. Then our target was JJ Davis. Zambrano dominated and the Cubs beat the Pirates again. The next day, that Friday, the last day of Spring Break, was possibly the greatest non-playoff game I had ever been to. It was a back and forth day starring a home run derby. It seemed that everyone homered that day, but there were 4 that I will always remember. The Ken Griffey Jr. homerun that looked so sweet but put the Cubs down by two. Cub fans thought it was the end and started making plans for the exit, but as usual, I had faith. HR #2: pinch-hitter Todd Hollandsworth hit a first pitch homer to right to cut the Reds lead to one in the 7th inning. We weren't done yet. Let's move to the bottom of the 9th. I made a bold statement: Back-to-back jacks send us home happy! "Leading off the bottom of the 9th for the Cubs, Right Fielder Sammy Sosa." Sammy Sosa, sitting on 511 homeruns tied the game with a shot to right-center field sending the Cub faithful into a frenzy. WE HAD TIED THE GAME! "Ready for extra innings?" asked my friend next to me as we started to sit. By the time our asses hit the seat, first pitch swinging Moises Alooouuu got a first-ball fastball as the Wrigley crowd jumped as one together celebration. It was the greatest moment in my lifetime as a Cub fan. A miraculous comeback that I was there for. Oh was I proud to be a Cub fan that day! Once again, a sign of things that weren't to come. I spent most of May looking for a prom date. I settled for a co-worker. At the time it wasn't settling, she was cute and a cheerleader. You can't ask for more can you. Yes, but I'm a man of low standards, no I'm not, I lied, but still, I don't ask for much in life. June was a great month. Mark Prior made his long-awaited return. That was cool even though Joe Pollack blew the slave in the end for The Franchise, but it was all good, we finally had our pitching staff together healthy...but not for long. Next day was prom. And prom was good, eating, dancing all night. Then after prom, shit blew up. Plans, shot like they was a Cubs fan decked out in Cubbie-blue on 35th and Shields (Comiskey Park). She ended up not wanting a relationship, or honestly nothing to do with me. Later, I was invited to my cousin's party, then later leaving to drive around the city. Sitting outside of Wrigley Field, my graceland, wondering what went wrong. But that it would be okay, because the Cubs, as usual would save me. Later in June, graduation. Another great day to be me. It was an end to everything that I tried so hard for. Sure, my high school career did not end in any way that it was portrayed in the movies. But I felt that I had left a major impact there and with my friends for the last time along with my family, though I didn't see my mother because she was on the other side of the stadium. I felt genuinely happy. June ended on a high note for me, another trip to my home away from home, LAS VEGAS! It treated me well again, not as well, but good nonetheless. It was hot, I shopped, I ate and I chilled. I did what I always did in Vegas, had fun. And to those who say there's nothing to do in Vegas if you are under 21, you are dumb! July, it was a good month because it led off with my 18th birthday. Freedom, cigarettes and lotto tickets. Also, that means running to the store late at night to get mom her cigarettes and throwing away money on lotto tickets. Then came 4th of July weekend. We threw the first of my two major parties. My parties are so awesome, they hold no comparison to college parties, only because they are two different beasts. College parties are all about trying to get some and getting so messed up that anything you do can be excused by the fact that you were so messed up. My parties are major get togethers where you get that messed up, but ur chillin out, listening to music, shooting pool throwin darts. After the parting was over The Cubs swept the Sox on July 4th in an atmosphere that rivaled one like the 03 playoffs. The Cubs won on a walk-off bases loaded walk. Only the White Sox would give that one up. Overall, we beat the Sox in their World Series, we were the Official City Champions winning 4 of 6 games. Next stop, the real World Series (I hoped). August was pretty good too. It was the Cubs best month. We got Nomar! NOMAR FUCKIN GARCIAPARRA! Wow, we had an offensive shortstop that doesn't bobble routine groundballs in game 6 of the NLCS. That move punched our ticket to the World Series, right? Well, then came preparation to go to college. This included my last days at work, which I miss the money, not the hassle. I got my stuff together to prepare. This was the biggest thing of my life so far, I couldn't afford to mess it up. I was really looking forward to it too. Life on my own terms. No one telling me what to do, school all day and party all night, sounded like heaven. But before I left, there was one more party. This one seemed like it lasted all weekend. That's cuz it involved plenty of drunks, lots heavy drinking, a glimpse to the future and DRAMA. Ya gotta love drama between guys that have been tight for four years. Why is it whenever guys have beef, there's usually a girl involved. Women bring out the worst in us, what can I say. But the party was memorable, harolded as one of the best. That was it for Chicago, Carbondale was next up. Then came September. College life, I moved to SIU-Carbondale and quickly gained the name "The Guy With The Cubs Hat." That was me, the most outspoken and biggest Cubs fan not only in that city, in the state but in the World! Later that month, my happiness over this season came to a sudden end thanks to the following players on the opposition: Victor Diaz who hit a game tying 3 run homer with 2 outs down 3 against LaTroy Hawkins. Craig Brazell, who hit the game winning homer against loudmouth Kent Mercker. Then the Cincinnati Reds, after being dominated by Carlos Zambrano, took 3 out of four beating Glendon Rusch 2-1 in extra innings, pounding Greg Maddux and Aaron Harang, Aaron Fucking Harang out dueled Mark Prior...PRIOR??? 16 strikeouts in 9 innings of one run ball wasn't enough to beat Aaron F'n Harang. I guess not. Then the Braves beat us 2 out of 3 making certain people in my life very happy: Certain Braves Fans attending SIU and Cooking School In Chicago, Certain White Sox fans who had already choked their season up after we swept them. And Cards fans that I met in Carbondale. That was the low point of the year for me, even lower than the after prom lack of activity. But September wasn't all about my Cubs based depression. I started drinkin again, and that was a joyous time. I made a lot of friends that way. And that's what college is all about, acquaintances. Not getting so drunk to a point where you don't wake up for days. Or getting laid so many times you end up on the Maury show being tested on "I'm Here for the 10th time, and I still don't know who my baby's daddy is." It's about acquaintances, and school, but mostly acquaintances. Needless to say, I'm enjoying. October was cool cuz the Bo Sox beat the curse that I don't consider a curse coming back from an 0-3 deficit to beat the Yankees. I was torn, proud of the Bo Sox for beating history, but my New York roots pulled me and kept me grounded. Them New York roots are strong ya know. Other October highlights: oh yeah Halloween. Dudes on my floor dressed in drag. And to spare you extreme details, they looked like the following: Dennis Rodman, the Black George Michael, One of the Williams Sisters and one looked like a pig with makeup in a pink wife beater and a pink hat. Note: These guys weren't even drunk yet. November, good, because of Thanksgiving, and a week off from school. It also meant free alcohol to bring back with me to college. It was a great week. November reunited me with my three favorite F-words: Family, Friends and Food. I enjoyed it and realized how much I missed the city. Traffic jams longer than a few minutes. Pollution, people yelling at each other, cabbies being assholes. Oh it was good to be home. December: FINALS! 3 grueling, extreme, tenuous, stressful weeks of finishing strong, dealing with roommate troubles and trying to get through my 1st semester of college. Drama surrounded me with my own confidence issues, lady issues that I had down in college and back home, roommate problems plauged me all semester, but it was over. Ever notice you have your most problems during the most difficult times. But now it is finally over, really, for this semester it is. Finally, I've learned a lot. This year has honestly added 10 years to my age, it has made me age quicker than I should. Being a Cub fan already ages you, but this stress topped that. Now, I look to next year for inspiration. Will I find my happy spot again, as I did in 2003? Will I finally kick that habbit that plagues me at certain times and in certain situations? Will I finally step up to the plate and hit the walk-off home run on my first try? Will that ever elusive dream girl give me another chance or will I not find her again? Only time will tell. Stay tuned until next year.

Why They Keep Doing This to Me is a Question All Cubs Fans Must Ask Themselves This Offseason

This all started in July. The situation we currently are in as Cubs fans started in July. Hell, it even started earlier when the sneeze from hell sidelined Sammy Sosa for a month. Then Sammy got bad, and everyone else was doing good, but Sammy kept the team down, not down enough to where they were out of a playoff spot, but down enough where they easily got knocked out of the Central Division title. Then Sammy, not realizing he is past his prime, declines to take one for the team, like a real captain would, and move down in the order to let the guys who are having awesome years succeed. It all started there. Then it moved to the end of September, when Moises Alou, Kent Mercker and others complained about the broadcast team giving credit to the teams that were beating the Cubs, instead of worrying about what they had to do on the field. Kent Mercker single handedly brought the Astros back from the dead when he started a bean ball war with Roy Oswalt that the Cubs couldn't finish. Moises Alou complained about every called strike against him and stopped hitting in the clutch. Sammy Sosa had stop hitting a long time ago before that. Corey Patterson was tiring as a lead off man, injuries caught up to Nomar and while all of that was happening, Mark Prior and Kerry Wood were hitting their stride, just like last September. But this year was different, because this team had no heart. That's right I said it NO HEART. PERIOD! What is Moises Alou gonna do to me, yell at me, complain about the strike zone. What is Kent Mercker gonna do, call Steve Stone telling him that what I said was unnecessary. That team had no heart, that is why they lost. Okay, they had heart, somewhere. The following players are exempt from the above statement: Mark Prior, Kerry Wood, Carlos Zambrano, Greg Maddux and Glendon Rusch, and Clement though he isn't here anymore. Remlinger has heart, but he's old. Offensively, Patterson, plays hard all the time, Hollandsworth, D. Lee, Walker, Nomar, Barrett and Ram. The guys that didn't have heart, well, lets take a look at them. The closer of the distant future, Kyle Farnsworth has no heart. LaTroy Hawkins, has all the skill in the world, but his head is in the clouds and his ego makes Kobe look unselfish. And of course, the captain, the guy who is supposed to be the heart and soul of the team HAS NO HEART!
Now, let's move on to this offseason. The Cubs had a couple of holes to fill. One of them was closer, and they let the two best free agents for that position sign in Detroit and San Francisco. They thought they had a trade with Milwaukee for their All-Star closer, but here come the Braves and now their team is 10 times better than last years team. So, they need two things a left fielder to replace the outgoing Moises Alou and a closer. Now, leaving the Cubs money to this was Alou ($11 million), Mark Grudzielanek ($5 million), Matt Clement ($6 million) and Kent Mercker ($2 million). Do the math Cubs fans, that is $24 million in free money the Cubs have. Now, 2 million is going to Glendon Rusch, to replace Clement, still, that is $22 million. Now, since Carlos Beltran made his Wrigley Field debut, Cubs fans have wanted him on the team. He has the heart and the left handed bat that is missing from the Cubs. He singlehandedly carried the Astros to and through the playoffs. His agent asked for a 10 year 200 million dollar deal. Do the math Cubs fans, that would be $20 million a year. The Cubs have enough to sign him with that free money left behind by Alou, Grudz, Matt and Merck. And what do the Cubs do, sit back, claim they are trying to trade Sammy so they can get Carlos even though they have the money to do so now, and the Astros are offering him the world and the Yankees are offering the world, the moon and a planet to be named later. What are the Cubs gonna do about it, most likely nothing. They have until January 8th to deal Sosa, and the more time passes, the less likely it is to happen and the more likely Beltran will not be a Cub. I'd hate to see him back in Houston and would hate it more to see him go down to the Bronx where he, next to Bernie Williams will be the toast of the Puerto Rican community in the Boogie Down. And what are the Cubs gonna do about that open spot, Maggs Ordonez. That would be nice, I'll be honest, to take the heart and soul of the White Sox and place him in the friendly confines where we can chant "Ooo-eee-ooo Magglio!" But realistically, we will be stuck with our two best bench players (Hollandsworth and rookie Jason DuBois) to replace a guy who hit 39 HRs and had 106 RBIs. So, I plead to the Cubs management to bring us a player that will take us to the next level. I also plead to my fellow Cubs fans to help make a difference and show that we will not take being just another team lightly.
-Sincerely, Luis, the World's Biggest Cubs Fan

The Pimpin Awards For 2004

Because what would the year end be like without the meaningless opinion of a know-it-all teenager. Here is my opinion of the best and worst of 2004 and the other crap I just had on my mind.

Best of the Year

Hottie of the Year: Lindsay Lohan. Hottie at only 18, thing could only get better. My only beef with her is that she spent the year dating Fez from 'That 70s Show.' Now, she is currently dating Collin Farrell. She might give Paris Hilton a run for her money next year for 'Ho of the Year.'
Entertainer of the Year: Lil Jon. Who else put together several summer jams to bump in your ride? Who else could make the common question WHAT? and the common response YEAH! cool to say on a day-to-day basis? Who was the producer of the year in all of your favorite songs? Lil Jon did it all in 2004. He gave you 'Yeah!' by Usher, 'Goodies' by Ciara, 'Freak A Leek' by Petey Pablo, he remixed two of the hottest songs of the summer 'Lean Back' featuring Ma$e, Eminem and Fat Joe and 'The New Workout Plan' by Kanye West and Farnsworth J. Bentely. He's currently got a top 10 CD featuring hip-hops best including: Ice Cube, Jadakiss, T.I. and Nas, and that is only one track. He's currently got the slow jam for this and next year with 'Lovers and Friends' featuring Ludacris and Usher, he's got the club banger 'What U Gonna Do?' and the street anthem 'Role Call.' Top top it off, he's working with Paris Hilton on her album. Everything he touches turns into gold, or shall I say platinum.
Musician of the Year: Kanye West. The only person who had as good, if not a better year than Lil' Jon it was Kanye West. His debut CD, The College Dropout, showed the world that he was much more than a top notch producer. Self proclaimed "Chi-town's Finest" not only had major hits on his CD, but he spread the wealth too. He was the producer on the Jay-Z smash 'Encore', he was the proudcer behind 'Slow Jamz' featuring he and fellow Chicagoan Twista, not to mention Twista's hit 'Overnight Celebrity', he produced hits for Janet Jackson, Brandy, Dialated Peoples, Jadakiss, Jin, Cam'ron, Ludacris and many more. He gave us one of the top songs in 2004 with Jesus Walks and collaborated on a remix which featured Bad Boy turned good Ma$e. He is walking in 2005 on fire with 10 grammy nominations. We are all looking to upcoming proudctions featuring Kanye West including a song on G-Unit's newest soldier and Dr. Dre's protoge, the next best thing to come from the West- The Game. He already collaborated with Game on the Boost mobile hit "Whole City Behind Us" freestyle. Kanye's CD is due out summer/fall next year. We can't wait.
Song of the Year: This year was full of hit songs. Yeah by Usher, Jesus Walks by Kanye West, Freak A Leek by Petey Pablo, Mosh by Eminem, RubberBand Man by T.I., This Love by Maroon 5 all came into consideration for song of the year. But only one walked away as the hit of the summer and the all around hit of the year. It had everyone dancing, 'Lean Back' by Fat Joe is my song of the year. First of all, it put the Latino's on hip-hop's map again since the death of the very underrated Big Pun. Second of all everyone loved it. Black, white, hispanic, everyone. It became a hit when it was remixed. And the only catch to the song was the dance. The Rockaway. Which all you had to do was follow the directions said clearly by the song: "Me and my n-ggas don't dance we just pull up our pants and do the rockaway/ now lean back, lean back, lean back, lean back." What else could you ask for in a hit song. By the way, Mosh came in a close second. In all honesty, it is my favorite song cuz it gets you pumped, it sent a clear message and is lyrically the song of the year. But, there was something that Lean Back had that Mosh didn't in the end.
Album of the Year: Kanye West's The College Dropout. There was no more influential album that came out this year on me and my life. No other album put out that many hits and made that much of a message than Kanye's Dropout. There was no other album like it in the year. That is what made it unique. Coming behind West in this category were the double album by Outkast- Speakerboxxx/The Love Below, Usher's Confessions, Lil Jon's Crunk Juice, and Maroon 5's Songs About Jane.
Athlete of the Year: Peyton Manning, quarterback, Indianapolis Colts. 49 touchdowns breaking Dan Marino's 1984 record, 4551 yards and the #3 record in the AFC, football's best conference. That is after an opening night loss to the defending world champs the Patriots. A loss in which they only lost by 3 points, Edgerrin James had 2 fumbles, one at the goal line. Everyone said that the Colts would make it no where with no defense. Note to you "experts" the same people that claimed the Cubs as champions last year before the year even started: If you score 35 points and the other team scores 31, guess what YOUR TEAM STILL WINS! Go Colts!
Coach of the Year: Larry Brown, Detroit Pistons basketball. Pull the upset of the century beating the LA Lakers 4 games to 1 in the series that broke up the Laker dynasty. Congrats to Larry.
Team of the Year: 2004 Boston Red Sox. Picked by many to be the runner up to the Cubs in the preseason. Picked by many to be runner up to the loser of the AL West in the Wild Card Race. Picked by many to be runner up to the New York Yankees in the playoffs. The Red Sox, even after trading their "Franchise" Nomar Garciaparra to the truely cursed baseball team, defied all of the odds by winning the Wild Card, beating the Yankees in the season series and by beating the Yankees after being down 0-3 in the ALCS on their last out in 2 of those games. Next, they broke the Curse of the Bambino by beating the favored best team in baseball the St. Louis Cardinals. Congrats to the Bo Sox for doing us the favor of being the first team to break their curse. It gives all of us Cubs fans hope for next year, like we didn't have enough.
Winner of the Year: The City of Boston was sports biggest winners. They had 2 world champions in the Red Sox and the Patriots. A lot of joy in the Northeastern sports world this year. Outside of sports, Paris Hilton was this year's big winner. Being an heiress isn't enough. She made millions in her second reality show. She has a best selling book, several sex tapes, including one that you can find on the shelves. She has an album and a movie coming out next year. What made her a winner is that she was willing to take the extra mile. Oops, I meant go the extra mile. But I really did mean that she did take the extra mile. What other girl could expose herself in several sex tapes and become the eye candy of America and a role model to girls in the same year. Let's just spend a year in Paris. Note: People usually spend 15 minutes in Paris.
TV Show of the Year: The Sopranos came back strong this year with the suprise whacking of Adriana. The Simpson's had their highlights as usual. That 70's Show was great, again. Arrested Development is a classic in the making. But my favorite show of this year is the hystarically funny Curb Your Enthusiasm. I love that show, I suggest that everyone goes out there and watches it next season.
Best Year Ever: Ben Affleck. He dumped J. Lo at the right time. Then he hooked up with ultra-superhero-hottie Jennifer Garner. Then he saw his two favorite teams (Boston Red Sox and New England Patriots) win championships in their sports. Could anyone have a better year?

Worst of 2004

Worst Song: Fuck You Right Back by Frankie. This song was a comeback to another one of my favorite songs 'Fuck It I Don't Want You Back' by Eamon. The comeback was just sour grapes by a dumb bitch that cheated on her man and was exposed as the slut she truely was. If the girl makes the song about her boyfriend cheating on her and exposing him, it is looked highly upon. But when the girl is exposed it is looked down upon. Hey Eamon, you ever need a remix, we'll go find Lil Jon and I'll throw down a couple of bars. I don't sing, but I'll bust out any dumb disrespectful cheating ass ho.

Ass Clown of the Year: Ricky Williams, running back, Miami Dolphins. Days before training camp started, he quit on his team for reasons high school students quit their job at Burger King. They quit for the weed. Now he's in debt up to his eyeballs and has no income. He ruined his team because their team revolved around him. It cost his coach his job, their team money and one of the worst records in football, and will cost others down the line too. Good job Ricky, and congrats for being the ASSCLOWN OF THE YEAR!

Worst Coach: The only coach that can get a player injured, cause his team to lose and cry because criticizing him hurt his feelings is the only choice for worst coach of the year. Waving Wendell Kim finally lost his job two years too late. He injured Tony Womack by sending him home causing a collision at the plate causing him to miss the playoffs. The Cubs thought he was too hurt to play next year, then he goes out and has a career year for the Cardinals. This year, he sends one of the slowest players on the team who is slowed with an injured hamstring Aramis Ramirez, home. Ram really hurt his hammy after being called out. He was out for two weeks, leaving the Cubs with a gaping hole in the middle of the order. Now he's gone and maybe we can win some games, score some more runs and maybe not have players injured at the plate this year.

Worst Team: San Francisco 49ers. Lost their All-Pro QB to free agency. Lost their top running back to free agency. Lost the best receiver in football because he wanted out and forced a trade to them. Why? Because their management makes the Bears and White Sox look like free spenders like George Steinbrenner.

Biggest Loser: Those who voted for George W. Bush will end up losers in the long run because they will realize the mistake later. Those who voted against him will be the biggest losers because once again we are stuck with an idiotic incompetent president. In the words of Chris Rock, "I will not vote for anyone that I can beat in a spelling bee."

Biggest Disappointment: 2004 Chicago Cubs. After an awesome playoff run in 2003 which left Cubs fans thirsting for more and a hot start to the 2004 season. The Cubs ended the year by losing 2 of 3 to the last place New York Mets, losing 3 of 4 to the lowly Cincinnati Reds and by losing 2 out of 3 to the Atlanta Braves to eliminate them from the Wild Card spot that they held on to since June. SINCE JUNE! More blown slaves than anyone could imagine, players blaming broadcasters, broadcasters telling the truth, a superstar "captain" walking out on his team along with injuries galore caused this year to be a lost cause for The Cubs and their ever hurting fans. Once again, they were left heartbroken waiting for next year.

Worst Athlete: Three-way tie. Jonathan Quinn, worst Quarterback in NFL history. Alex Gonzalez, worst shortstop in baseball history. Jon Garland, worst pitcher in baseball history. Quinn couldn't throw a touchdown if he went up against no defense. After the chokejob in the 2003 NLCS, Gonzo lost all of his range and fielding ability and the ability to hit in the only month he ever hit in, April. So to recap Gonzo, can't field, can't hit, can't run fast. Not good for a professional baseball player. 6-4-3 is as simple as it gets Gonzo. The little white thing, you are supposed to hit it. If Jon Garland threw to a cardboard cut out of a batter only two things would happen. He would either walk the cardboard cutout, or the cutout would hit a home run.

Worst Musician: William Hung absolutely ruined American Idol. Look for him to do an album with Lil' Bow Wow and Ja Rule one day. The worst trio ever.

Worst Year Ever: Sammy Sosa, outfielder, Chicago Cubs (for now.) A gargantuan (word of the day) sneeze knocked Sammy out for a month. He batted .253 with 35 HRs and 80 RBIs. His defense was horrible, he couldn't hit a beach ball if it was set on a tee-ball stand for the life of him. And then, at the end of the year, he walks out on his team, and he's the captain. Revenge was later sought by an unknown Cub who took a page out of The Sopranos playbook and took a baseball bat to Sosa's boombox. Sosa has been the center of trade rumors all off-season and Cub fans look forward to a day without their one time hero.

Other

Most Likely to be Next Years Biggest Loser: President Bush (see below.)

Most Likely to be Dead Next Year: President Bush.

Most Likely to be Next Year's Big Winner: Carlos Beltran, who as a free agent is looking for a 10 year $200 million dollar contract. Cubbies, dish the money out and give it to him before the Astros or Yankees do.

Most Shocking: Brintey Spears gets married twice. Once in Vegas to Jason Alexander (no, not the guy from Seinfeld, though at one point I was glad for him) and for real to a back up dancer who was recently divorced and has outside kids. Can you say Baby Step Mamma Drama? Not 10 times fast. This gesture by Brintey gives us all hope that a genuine hottie will have unnecissarily low standards and fall for the back up dancer in all of us.

Least Shocking: Paris Hilton's other sex tapes. Nothing shocks me after the first one.

Quote of the Year: "While he trickin' off, don't get no rich nigga/ Give ME some head, that'll really piss him off." Kanye West in my favorite song of the College Dropout 'Breathe In Breathe Out' featuring Ludacris. Think about it, what would piss off a boyfriend off more: his girl leaving for a rich boy or his girl leaving him for a guy like me? Thought so.

I hope you enjoyed 2004, I sure did. Look out 2005, here I come.

Week 15 Monday Morning Quarterback

As the playoff picture gets clearer, as it should, it is the second to last week of the football season, here are some thoughts that will bridge the gap between now and next Monday.

• I would personally like to congradulate the Chicago Bears offense on the major event of scoring an offensive touchdown for the first time since the Clinton Administration. Seriously, good job guys, only 10 quarters between touchdowns. You went two games and a half without scoring jack. Be proud. And then you had a revelation, score two offensive touchdowns in one half. But that was taken away because "The ball moved after he hit the ground." I have honestly never seen a game taken away by an official. I have seen umpires miss calls and change momentum. I have seen referees in basketball make a controversial foul call that sends a superstar to the bench, once again changing momentum. But I have never seen in a football game, a referee take away a clear touchdown that would actually put another team in the lead. We wouldn't be talking about this had the Bears woken from hibernation earlier. Oh well, still, I have only seen one Bears win against the 49ers this year. At least, please beat Green Bay. Hell, knock out Favre. Knock him, out. I want late hits, roughing the QB. We won't likely win the game, but at least we'll knock everyone out.
• Congradulations Peyton Manning, you now have the single-season touchdown record. 49 in a year. Now Peyton, you have made all of us who are fantasy owners of yours very happy. Also, you have made owners of Harrison-Wayne-and-Stokely very happy. Thank you Peyton, now on to the playoffs you go. Now, do what I predicted and take your team to win a championship.
• Next week will decide the final playoff spot in the NFC. And unlike the AFC, the NFC spot will be decided head to head when the New Orleans Saints will face the defending NFC Champs Carolina Panthers. The Panthers will look to come back from a 1-7 start to make the playoffs. If they do, they will be feared because of their still stout defense and a hot offense. Think of the infamous offensive connections in recent football history: Montana-to-Rice, Aikman-to-Irvin, Manning-to-Harrison. How does Delhomme-to-Muhammad work for you? Works good for them. Now lets look on the other side of the field where you have the Saints. Sometimes they play like the Saints, and sometimes they are the Aint's. It varies weekly. One week, they are unstoppable. The next week they can't get out of their own way. Which team will show up, watch the NFC on Fox to find out.
• The AFC's last spot is up for grabs too. The Bills/Jags/Ravens/Broncos are several teams looking for that final spot. The Jags lost QB Byron Leftwhich and lost to the Houston Texans. The Ravens have no offense and their defense was last seen in one of two places. Madden NFL 2005 or on the side of a milk carton, cuz they are Missing In Action. Hey Ray Lewis, now do you believe in the Madden Jinx? Let's recap the Madden jinx shall we? Madden 2001-Eddie George on the cover and the Titans lose their first home playoff game ever. Madden 2002-Daunte Culpepper after an MVP-like year has the worst year of his career with a 78 QB rating. Madden 2003- Marshall Faulk has an injury plagued season. Madden 2004- Michael Vick, only one day after the game was released in stores, in a preseason game, Michael Vick breaks his leg, out for a majority of the year. Madden 2005- Ray Lewis, his team after being a favorite to win the SuperBowl is on the verge of not even making the playoffs. So, to recap in full. Since being on the cover, George has been released, signed to the Cowboys and benched for a rookie. Culpepper hasn't made the playoffs since, and his team has been football's Chicago Cubs. Marshall Faulk has been fighting injuries since being Madden's Cover-Boy. Michael Vick is having an excellent year, just signed a 10-year contract extension worth $130 million. I guess jinxes are made to be broken. Well, some are at least. Oh yeah, the cover of NFL 2K5, Terrell Owens, two weeks ago, breaks his leg. My advice: Don't be on the cover of any video games.

Merry Christmas to All, and to all Shop Til Ya Drop Tomorrow For All the Stuff You Didn't Get

Hey, Merry Christmas everyone. I hope that everyone enjoyed their gifts, the excellent home cooked meal, and in certain areas, the below zero temperatures and the nice fluffy Christmas Snow. Or those of you in the South and the Caribbean...BOO! It gets cold to you when it hits 50. I'd kill for 50, but Christmas isn't about killing. It is about love, gifts and food. What made this Christmas different from others was that I feel that I mad others happy with the gifts I got them. I love that feeling, it is one I want to relive over and over again. That's it for today.

News That Makes You Go...WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS DAMN COUNTRY!

Well, as usual, I've been keeping my eyes opened and have been paying attention to the news. Two stories caught my eye and though both were seperate stories, having absolutely nothing to do with each other. Both stories made me cringe and nearly yell out loud: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS DAMN COUNTRY!
STORY ONE:
Story number one comes straight from the always interesting world of Major League Baseball. Before you even say anything, no it is not a new trade rumor, fan wish list, team analysis or Steve Bartman hate letter. This story is straight from Queens, where Mets pitcher Kris Benson's wife had something to say. Anna (correct spelling?) Benson, a stripper, made a major statement while doing a recent magazine interview. She said, if her husband ever cheated on her, she would sleep with everyone on the Mets. Not stopping while she was ahead, she continued through a laundry list of people on her potential "To Do List". She said all players, managers, management, trainers, bat boys, front office players, coaches, owners. Who knows where else this list can go. Maybe the hot dog and beer vendors and the rest of the concession stands. The equipment manager, parking lot manager, the ushers, the dudes at the ticket window, security guards, personal trainers. Hell, she might go off and bone every player, coach, manager and whoever else they bring with on the visiting team. Take this into consideration, SHE IS A STRIPPER. Most likely, she's already half-way done with the list. So, I'm gonna guess while Kris is lonely on the road after a start in which he was shelled and pulled without even getting through the first, Kris will just lock himself in his room and order "Night Nurses from Jersey" cuz that is the closest he will get unless he makes a nice little phone call to wifey. And if I was a Met, first of all, I'd be pissed off cuz I play for the Mets. Second of all, I would be doing everything to catch Kris in the act. Hell, I'd get Kris in the act. Take him to the Cubby Bear during a weekend set against the Cubs. On the west coast trip, make a little trip to Vegas, but not to bet on his own team of course. How about a day on South Beach in the MIA during a 4 game set against the Marlins. Or, my favorite, how about a Clinton-like trip to the Oval Office, ya know, meet a little intern or two. And I would be the first guy with my camera phone or whatever I can get my hands on to be the first to show Mrs. Benson the footage. "Here, Mrs. Benson, here's the evidence." Cuz y'all know I'd want first dibs, no sloppy seconds!
STORY TWO:
I wa s recently reading on-line that the recently convicted Scott Peterson (no, not the Polish Sausage, though he might end up cooked like one in the recent future) is getting love letters from women while he is in jail. WAIT JUST A MINUTE, you have got to be kidding me. A man, convicted of murdering his wife while she was pregnant with his kid; Who in that time was also seducing another woman, while planning and during the murder of his wife is getting love letters from women. Do these women not have access to television news, radio newscasts, the internet, newspapers, telegraphs, Pony Express...anything? Are they completely oblivious to the fact that he is in jail for murder? He is in jail for a reason ladies. Are they erasing out of their mind the fact that if they ever get in contact with this man, he does not have a problem with killing you, dumping you in the ocean and moving in on your best friend? I guess not. And it is a damn shame. Now I know where all my love letters go, I don't get any. Why you ask? Because they are all going to some dude that is gonna be in jail for the rest of his life. Only in America.

America, answer me this question: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS DAMN COUNTRY!

The Christmas List for Chicago Sports Fans

From the Desk of the Chicago Bears Fan base:
Dear Santa,
Thank you for granting our request, my friend, of a new coaching staff for DA BEARS! However, unlike Sears, you do not state a return policy for disfunctioning parts. One part in particular is our offensive coordinator. So, instead of going through the trouble of finding an entire new staff to put under the tree, Bears fans will ask for only a new offensive coordinator for Christmas. But, if you can fulfill that part of our Christmas list, maybe you can help him and us a little bit too. He is going to want some new toys to play with next year, just like us DA SUPERFANS! We would like a new wide receiver, with working hands and with legs that run faster than their mouth. A new offensive line to protect our favorite quarterback toy, we can't afford a new one, and hope that one won't break again. In addition, Santa, DA BEARS, would also like to wish you and Mrs. Claus a BEARY Christmas and a Happy Orange and Blue New Year.

With Love,

DA SUPERFANS

From the Desk of the Chicago White Sox Fan Base:
Dear Santa,
Every year Santa, we get screwed. It's not fair. Our brothers to the north always get what they want for Christmas. Why can't we. We've been good this year, we didn't jump on the field and attack anyone. In fact, it was dose stoopid Cub fans that shot one of our own. C'mon Santa, gimme a break! Last year, we got screwed out of a new Nomar, and where does he end up, with those brothers that get everything they want. This year we're getting screwed too. We, unlike some fans, aren't asking for the highest price players, but we're asking for good talent. We asked for a shortstop that could field a groundball and he ended up going to San Francisco. We asked for a pitcher that could get people out, and he ended up with Red, not White Sox. So all we ask for is this Santa, one win against the Cubs, because you know that anything else we ask for we will not get.

Thanks for nothing jerkbag,

The Other Sox Nation

From the Desk of the Fans of DA BULLS:

Dear Santa,

Our request is simple: Can you please turn back time and bring back a young and good Michael Jordan. All we need is one superstar. One that scores, plays defense and is a natural born leader.

Thank you Santa,

Da SuperBull Fans

From the Desk of the World's Greatest Fans, Fans of the Chicago Cubs:

Dear Santa,

Dude, what's up? Hey, I would just like to thank you for fulfilling some of our Christmas wishes last year. Especially those you gave to us early like that power-hitting gold-glove 1st baseman, that awesome catcher, a set-up man and a certain former Cy Young Award Winning Cub Pitcher (Greg Maddux). However, you didn't bring that championship we've been asking to get for now 97 years. So once again, please Santa, try your hardest to bring us a championship. We've been good this year. We kept our hands and feet inside the stands at all times this year. So, if you can't bring us the championship by yourself, can you at least bring us some toys that will help bring it to us. Like, a closer, one of those that works would actually be nice for a change. Do you make exchanges Santa. Because us Cub fans would like to exchange a certain future hall of fame whiner for one of our own. Sammy Sosa to New York in exchange for Chicago's own and Thornwood High's own Cliff Floyd. And then, under the tree, one 27 year old All-World outfielder named Carlos Beltran. Oh Santa, can you wrap him up and put him under our tree and not be bought by the Yankees or have him return to Houston. They don't even have snow in Houston, they can't celebrate Christmas in the right way. Please Santa, do that for us, and we promise not to beg for any more unreasonable gifts for a long time. Please don't make us wait another 97 years.

With Love,

Chicago Cubs Fans

The Monday Night Maniac (The Monday Morning Quarterback's Alter-ego)

It's 7:17 pm and I'm late for being the Monday Morning Quarterback. So now I am the Monday Night Maniac and this is what I think of yesterday's action:

• Bears are bad, sorry! I've come to realize that Chicago sports fans are the most optimistic, yet unrealistic people of all time. I remember them saying it oh so well. We can make the playoffs, we have a good enough team. We can beat Dallas (lost 21-7) on Thanksgiving. Jacksonville, they suck, we can beat them (loss 22-3). The Texans, coming into Chicago in the cold of December, easy win for the Bears (lost 24-5). At Detroit, payback time right? Right? I predict a loss, yet close loss. 14-12. No offensive touchdowns...again, all field goals. Then Green Bay, geez I hope we win that game. But the Fudge Packers from up north will be playing for a division championship and homefield in one game. And the Bears, they will be playing one last game in the cold of Chicago, waiting to get out of there in time to catch their plane, train or automobile out of town (in some cases before the fans get a piece of them.) So, another predicted loss, this one in blowout fashion 35-10 (defensive touchdown, Brett Favre interception.) So, that will leave the Bears with a 5-11 record, wasn't that last years record. All of the losing seasons just blur together now. Being down in Carbondale since August, I have only caught one Bears win all year, and that was against San Francisco, I could grab 10 guys off the street and still beat San Francisco. So that isn't nothing. So they better have a win up their sleeve somewhere.
• The playoff picture is starting to shape up. It looks like in the AFC it will be the Chargers, Colts, Steelers and Patriots with wild card spots going to the Jets and either the Jags, Bills or Ravens. I like the Jags a lot, but am pulling for the Bills, for they started 0-4 and would be a dangerous playoff team I wouldn't want to face. A high-powered offense and the #3 defense in football is dangerous indeed. In the NFC, if you are an NFC team, you are mathematically still alive. However, I have never liked math, so lets look at things realistically. .500 teams will not make the playoffs, let alone teams under .500. So, this is what it looks like in the senior conference in football. Rams/Seahawks/Cardinals? representing the NFC West (which is totally unfair cuz all of those teams suck). The Falcons and the Eagles are the only teams with division titles locked up. The Wild Card is interesting because the Pack and the Vikes are still fighting for the division title, yet, the loser is basically still in the playoffs as a wild card. The other wild card spot, I want it to go to the Panthers, but teams still alive (honestly) are the Rams (gulp, losers) and the Saints. The Saints and Panthers go one on one for one last time, so they will break their own tie-breaker.
• Manning Watch: Only 1 away from tying and 2 from breaking. Next the Colts have a potential playoff preview against the Chargers (how many people thought I'd be saying that in the beginning of the year.) Manning-Edge-and the receiving triplets (Harrison-Wayne-Stokley) vs. Brees-LT II-and the best receiving TE in football (move over Tony and Shockey) Antonio Gates. Should be a wild and crazy game. A lot more interesting than the Bears practical joke they call an offense against the drama QBs of Detroit. Watching Indy and the Bolts would be like a revelation to Bears fans. Down field passing, receivers catching the ball, running backs breaking tackles and running downfield and overall...SCORING! Sure, no defense, but even the Bears D plays like shit, especially when Urlacher isn't there.
• These two weekends are Fantasy Championship weekend in Fantasy football and like most teams that are mine or that I root for, they CHOKED! C-H-O-K-E-D! CHOKED! My 1st place team, lost. That team choked because my RB got hurt and played like a bitch and my D didn't show up. The team that was in 2nd place all year lost when my receivers decided not to catch the ball, play and my kicker ended up with negative points. How does a kicker get negative points. I had one team win this weekend, the team that was in 8th place, barely making the losers bracket in the playoffs. Truth is, no one on that team was healthy all year, and they are all getting healthy now. If they win the losers bracket, I will consider it equal to the 2003 Florida Marlins. Pulling something out of their ass to shock experts, their opponents and their own fans. I am currently beating a guy who finished 9-5 during the regular season, barely missing the playoffs. I finished the year 4-10 on a 3 game winning streak. Good luck to everyone except those who are playing me during Fantasy Championship week!

I'm Home, Finally

After a 6 hour train ride, I am home back in Chicago. Traffic, pollution, rudeness is all part of city life at its best. I feel good to be home, glad to be done with my first semester away at college and proud to be a Chicagoan. Do I miss Carbondale yet, a little bit. Come on, it's Saturday morning at nearly 1 am and I am not drunk, I've only had a couple of sips of some wine, that is it. Tonight, there was no Cherry Pit, followed by Jimmy John's, followed by the morning after meeting next door with my suitemates. I miss my suitemates Hoos and Vinny and the whole gang on the 14th floor. I'll miss random nakedness running down the halls and drunks wandering in and out of my room at random times at night. But being a college student is the best of both worlds. Freedom while living on campus, but structured and mature lifestyle at home. I love it. One month until I go back to C-Dale! That's it for tonite, it's just good to be back where I am loved and wanted.

It's Over, Finally Over. And Now, Just 13 hours Until I am Back on My Way Home

It was the first time in a long time in which I looked forward to going to sociology. Not because of some girl, or some test, or being excited to learn. I was excited because it was my the last of my finals, and I knew that when I finished that I would officially be done with my first semester of college. The test seemed easy, but that most likely means I paid good attention in class and was prepared. But that is besides the point, after the test, I was done. I had an ear to ear grin and I jumped and clicked my heels happily. I called my mother and left her a very happy message. I called my father, who seemed to be very proud of me. It was, for once, a good day to be me. Breaking news, my day gets better, I HAVE AN A IN ENGLISH! Me fail english, thats unpossible? Yep, unpossible indeed, LUIS ACED ENGLISH! My writing skills are the gift and the curse. I just stood in the hallway and yelled I GOT AN A! IT'S THE GIFT AND THE CURSE! I called my friend Calla, who quickly stole my thunder by saying,"Me too, I got an A too." I said "You just couldn't give me my moment could you." She was happy for me that I got an A, as am I that she got an A. She's probably the most awesome, without a doubt, person I have met since I have been down here in Carbondale. Whatta gal! Okay, so back to my day. So, then I sold my books, and spent $61.40 on Christmas gifts for my family. I hope they won't get mad that I spent so much. But it was for them, so I felt it as being necessary. Then I came back to my room and celebrated, sure, my music was loud, but for once, I didn't care, because I was done, and I was purely, legitimately and genuinely happy! My roommate is gone, and I have the room to myself, I hope it'll be like that next semester too, I would finally be able to live in peace. We had our ups and downs, with more downs than ups, and my roommate coulda been better and treated me like we've known eachother for years, instead of treating me the way he did for weeks, but he, like I will get over it, and things will get back to normal, hopefully, they will one day.
My Reflection
Wow, this college thing has been an experience to say the least. It has been a long time coming since the first day, as a lost and confused freshman. The only person I knew was my roommate, and that scared me a little bit, but I knew that because of my personality, I could get along with many people, and I would once again be happy. It all goes back to movie night with Sarah, the girl that John, my roommate, helped with carrying her stuff up 14 flights of stairs. We watched Rocky Horror picture show. There, we were introduced to Matt, Steve and Sarah's roommate Kristin (who would later be known as Boobs, Left Field among countless of other nicknames.) The first night we were introduced to drunks, one in particular was Alex, who stormed into their room claiming it was his. Let's see, the 1st party night, I remember it like it was yesterday (kinda). All I remember really is that we left John at another party on College Street as me, my friend Jake, Sarah, Kristin and what seemed to be a myriad of others paraded to the "House With The Red Light" party. That place was great while it was opened, before it got busted. The bartender chick was drop dead gorgeous. A 10, a fucking 10, instant wood! Perfect face, boobs, everything. Out of this world kinda gal. They made some awesome drinks, reuniting me with one of my original loves: the lemonade-vodka. That is when I started drinking, again. The 1st night, 2 naked chicks made out for a crowd, at the time, it was an amazing sight, but it pales in comparison to everything else that I have seen and heard since I have been down here. I made out with some chick at the "Red Light" after buying her a drink after she called me the devil. "Would the devil do this?" followed immediately by tongue down the throat. "Red Light" is where I also got really acquainted with my suitemates Hoos and Vinny, Jameel, Keith, Calla and who else knows. It was meant to be, all of us, to be together as friends. There were many times in which I wanted to quit and leave because I didn't feel like I fit in, or the stress of being a college student got to me, or my friends (who didn't make it easier on my by missing me) wanting me to be home, or the Cubs, those damn Cubs choking didn't make life easier, but I got through it, like it was a movie. I fought the power, and it felt good. I moved on to the Cherry Pit after Red Light got shut down. I spent many a dollar and many a night at cherry pit. That is where I got my most drunk. Twice at the pit, once with my cousin. But I spent half of that night at pit. Pit is the shit. It is drinking, dancing and partying rolled up in one. It's scent is unique to say the least. Liquor, sweat, must, weed, cigarettes, perfume and cologne and other unnotable scents combined to make the ultimate scent: Essent of Pit. Pit is where I made out with two chicks at once in a three-way kiss. I don't even remember how it happened. Oh, and to note to anyone who is reading this, I usually don't kiss and tell, I'm just doing it now as a reflection. But to close this reflection, I feel that I have come full circle in this first semester of college. From shelled, timid, freshman to open-minded, fun freshman who loves all and cannot wait til next semester. I will miss this place while I am gone, thanks for the great memories Southern, I'll be back expecting more next semester, and for the years to come. I would honestly like to thank all of my family for helping me through first semester: Mom, Roy, Jenny, Mama, Titi, Kristin, Jessica, Doc, Papi, Courtney, Cissy, Squeaky, Titi Sharon, Tina and all of those I have forgot, thank you for being that support beam that I needed during first semester. I would also like to thank all of my friends for making this semester the most fun 4/5 months of my life: My roommate John (dispite our problems), my suitemates: Vinny and Hoos; Marcus, Vino, Steve, Jameel (my best friend South, the dude who always listened to my problems, took care of me when I was drunk and woke my ass up when he got high with John the day before I had a test in my english class--love ya dawg!), Keith, Donnell, Daniel (my "barber"), Gabe, Julian, Ethan, Mike and Ryan for drunken entertainment and for introducing me to everclear; Larry, Josh, Yoav, Carl, Charles (I love Cards fans); Sharon (and her friends Meghan and Ally), Morgan, Lindsey, Row, Maggie, Shari, Sara and Betsey from across the hall, Lora, Christin, Shari, Trisha and Eve, and Kaity aka Corndog....Selina, her roommate Taylor and their friends Todd and Roary, being drunk among you people has been a blast. I would like to end this by thanking my favorite girls in the entire world: Sarah- for understanding how much "The Booty Mix" means to the life of a college student and for pretty much crowning me "The King of the Burned CDs/Booty Mixes". Kristin for being that entertaining drunk on the first night after getting buzzed of one Pina Colada and for later in the semester making me proud. You go girl! Calla, even though I hate the Braves cuz they eliminated the Cubs, the fact that I am a Bears fan and your long-lost brother Brett Favre, the fact that your Uncle Randy is a 6'10" lefty for the Diamondbacks you have been the best person I have met down here. Despite what you think, personality means a lot in life and will get you far, and you have the best personality I've met in a long time, if not ever. Anyone who loves baseball and appreciates baseball as a sport is a friend of mine. Ruthie, for being the person I envy the most. You are always so happy, I wish I could be that happy all of the time. When I see you happy, I seem to get happy, it rubs off on all of us. Your artwork is amazing, keep it up. Brittany, for being my study buddy in Media, for listening to my crap while you had to deal with your own and for being a great friend. You will be missed at Southern, have fun up north. Hope I'm not missing out anyone, if I am, I am sorry. See ya next semester.
P.S. Mr. Weiss is the best english teacher, he put that class in my wheelhouse and I hit it out of the park. All writing, all the time. Media in Society was a boring class if you sat in the back and didn't pay attention. Waste of my time and money, hope I did good. SPCM 101 aka Speech aka Chinky's class. Chinky aka Satoshi, was the best teacher ever, dude was the bomb and we had the most laid back entertaining classes ever. And finally, Professor Benford, whose sociology classes usually had me walking out of them wondering why I took the time to sleep and wake up from that sleep to go to class. It pained me when you dissed the Cubs, but was the greatest day to see the BoSox sweep your pathetic Cardinals out from the World Series. You got beat by one cursed team, guess who is next (hint: go 300 miles north and find the Kings of the MidWest, last years pretenders will be this years contenders, mark my words Cards and Cards backers). But to give you this much, your confrontational style led to entertaining classes and me meeting more fun people in section.

Wednesday Night, 2 Days Left and 1 Final To Go

Happy Hump Day everyone. Wednesdays usually suck because I have 3 classes to go to and I usually don't want to go to at least one of them. But today was different, after a short night of stressful, paranoid, worrisome "sleep" I got up and sat around all morning. I helped a friend unpack her room, and I went to sell a book back and took my 3rd final of the week. After that I took a nice walk to the COMM building all the way across campus. I made some realizations about this 1st semester as a college student. I realized that college life is not stable, not everyone stays, for example my friend Sharon down the hall is moving out, and that's sad cuz I'll miss her fun spirit a lot. I'll see her when she visits and when I go home on vacation. I'll also miss Brittany, my study buddy. She helped me get through a lot of stressful times while I was down here, and on top of that, she was having stressful times of herself. Her happy aura was what helped me feel better about college life. I'll be honest, when I first got here I was worried. I was worried that I would have few friends and that there would be no one around to care about me or be my friend. The only person I knew was my roommate, and to be honest, and I know he feels the same way about me, he's not the most pleasant person to be around all the time. But I've made so many friends that have helped me get through the bad times, and were there for the good. I'll miss them next year, but I plan to keep in touch with them, for I have forged genuine relationships and friendships with all of them. To all my people leaving me behind at SIU, I salute you all and in one way or another you will be missed. If not by me, by someone.
1 More Final And Then I am Outta Here
I can't wait, it is my sociology final. It covers only three chapters, but it is a very important test, it could make or break my grade. I've aced all of the papers, but I've gotten Cs and Ds on my tests. This grade can solidify my grade as a High C or low B or could just settle my grade towards the bottom of the pack. After my final, I am going back to the COMM building to hand in my application to work at the school paper. I have no experience, and that will most definetly hurt me, but I want it so bad, I'll do anything to get it. Then, it is back to the student center to sell my last books and I will be done. I will also hand in another job application to work at the student center bookstore. I need a job so badly, it will make my life and my parents life so much easier. They would have to send me less money, I would have extra money in my pocket and it would definetly keep me busy. So, for only the second time in my life, I am looking forward to having another job. I can't wait til this school year is over, because as soon as it ends, it is back to the city I call home to watch and worship my favorite baseball team. I'm sick and tired of the St. Louis Rams football team and those pesky, hated Cardinals. I can't wait to get back to what truely is a civilization

Tuesday Night, 11:50, One Final Tomorrow and Today Went Too Fast

Today went too fast and i didnt get to do what I wanted to. I went shopping today, I got some of my Christmas shopping out of the way and now am damn broke. All my money is now in Chicago when I finish all of my Christmas shopping at home. I gotta shop for my mom, my pops and anyone else. I rewarded myself today by buying a Nomar Jersey on sale for $10 bucks, you can't beat that with its original price slated at $25. I Love Nomar, and will be glad to see him back hopefully to win a championship. I wish I could have slept all day, like my roommate usually does. How cool would that have been? A long day of peace and relaxation. But I went out and got stuff done, how totally awesome is that. I'm trying to ignore my women problems in my life just so I can get through finals week without adding drama in my life. I can't have that on my head and finals too, thats asking too much. I wanna get my feelings out there but don't want to be rejected. Thats just asking for stress, and honestly I feel that I'm stressing about that now, so I'm gonna drop the subject. Time is now 11:57, I'm tired, bored and sexually frustrated. Welcome to the world of a college student!

Monday Night, 2 finals Down and 2 to Go, still 4 days left though

It's cold down here in Carbondale, damn cold. It is the capping of a very interesting day. It actually started unnecissarily early this morning when my roommate came in high as hell and woke me up, as it is a usual occurance. So, I got to wake up to that, and then we were feuding on if the heat should be on or off. Windows wide open 30 degrees outside, breeze comin in the room and he wants the heat off. Like he's some type of arctic figure. I'd turn it on, he'd turn it off and it went back and forth. I froze last night and dried up. He got heated up this morning and dried up. Only 4 days left of this. So, lets go on with the day and I sold a book. A book that I spent like $30 on and I only got $8, what a rip-off that sucks big time. So, I spent a lot of today pacing back and forth down the hall. I was so bored because my finals were split throughout the day and it seemed like no one was here, so it was me and myself with the floor as my pearl. I was so bored, I decided to make a couple of CDs, cuz thats what I do when I'm bored. I ended up making a couple because people love the jams I put on my CDs. I put some raw ass slow jams, damn near cuts on my CDs. The ladies love my CDs, its cuz I'm the man and I know what they like in music. I'm the Slow Jam Man without a doubt with my so-called "Booty Mixes". I love college, you get a reputation just because of the music you listen to, you gotta love it. Well, lets skip to 7:30 on my way all the way to the other side of campus for my communications final at 8. A final that late, that cold, that dark and that far away should not be allowed by law. Well, its better than having a final at 7:50 am like some people I know. So, I got back from my final about an hour and a half after it started and my floor, as usual was an interesting site. People were either drinking, sleeping or high. Some were studying for finals, yes, but they were in the minority. Presiding over those who are messed up is some of the most fun stuff I've ever been a part of in my life. I love taking care of the drunks because kids don't say the darndest things, drunks do, and they will defend everything they do and say forever and ever or until they are sober. People who are blitzed (high) are just as fun. They get paranoid as hell, they can be attacked and won't be hurt no matter what you do to them. Then they say stupid shit when they are trying to be serious. Like John Madden who right now just said "They tried to pull a Miraculous-Musical-City." Not the ever-so-famous in Tennessee lore "Music City Miracle", yet it is the Miraculous Musical City. Only Madden, that man makes no sense, he isn't the best, but he is the most entertaining. I had a lot of stuff on my mind to talk about, but its tough to talk to people who are drunk, sleeping or high. Yet, it is entertaining. Time at the tone is 11:53, do you know where your children are? I do, you know why, because I'm taking good care of them. 2 finals down, 2 to go and almost 3 more days

Midday Monday, 4 Days Left

4 days left, put it on the board. Its Monday at the midday and it's one final down 3 to go! One paper to turn in, all I gotta do is print it and I'm done with english. Even if I didn't do that paper and hand it in, the worst grade I can get in that class is a B. I love writing classes, they are the best. Had it not been for that class, I would not be writing this because I would not know about Blog and I would not have an outlet to speak to. I really don't care who reads this or if anyone does for that matter, its like having a public journal. But back to school, I got one more final today, 8 pm all the way across on the other side of campus at the Communications Building for my SPCM (Speech Communication) 101 class final from 8-10 pm, that should be a joyous occasion. But afterwards, I'm going to get pizza, so it is well worth the walk. So, what do I do to relax before the final, well I just go about my day the usual way. Wake up, shower, watch some SportsCenter, get online and read my Sun-Times, take a look at my fantasy teams, check out any news on my Cubbies and put in some music on my way to class. Lets see, music for times like this. Good sleeping music includes Jack Johnson, I ain't never heard of this guy in my life until a couple of months ago when I asked someone to make me a CD with some relaxing music. Dude's got it goin on, very mellow and very calming, its all I need to deal with all of the stress that comes with school and college and life in general. Before tests, no sleepy music, straight crunk music does the body good before the big game or a test because it gets you pumped up. Get some crunk in yo system, maybe some hip-hop danceoff music gets it going sometimes too. Eminem's Mosh and Lose Yourself are awesome songs to listen to right before the test too. Get pumped and stay focused. Now, to the Monday Morning Quarterback.

SIU LOU, THE MONDAY MORNING QUARTERBACK

• Peyton Manning needs 2 to tie and 3 to break the single season touchdown record. Not only is he doing football a great service, he is doing me a great service. Even though I don't have Manning on any of my fantasy teams this year, I do have his favorite targets on my teams, so nothing makes me happier to see a Manning-to-Harrison on a deep post route, a Manning-to-Wayne connection deep down the sideline, a Manning-to-Stokely the White Boy connection in the slot splitting the defense. How about Manning-to-Clark/Pollard in the Red Zone. The only one it hurts is Edge, and by the end of the game, they are running out the clock and Edge still gets his 100 yards. Here is to you Peyton Manning, the MVP of my fantasy team, even though you are not on my team.
• The Bears are done, dead, caput. Chad Hutchinson is not the savior, yet he would be an adequate back-up, hell he could start if he had an offensive line. I hope the Bears management takes a deep look at this season and diagnoses what they have and what they need. We have 3 good quarterbacks: Grossman, hope he gets better health wise and on the field. Jeff George and Chad Hutchinson are good enough back-ups. Jonathan Quinn needs to go out and run a Citgo somewhere and Craig Krenzel proved to all of us that Ohio State hasn't produced anything since Mike Doss or Eddie George even. Craig, do us all a favor and go and find a cure to some uncurable disease and stay away from the team, unless you want to be the team doctor. Craig Krenzel=Joe Germaine=Loser from THE Ohio State University. The Bears need to either incorporate a 2-back system in which Thomas Jones and Anthony Thomas, or as I'd like to call them Thomas Thomas, share the backfield, a double-threat backfield would be nice. The Bears need a left tackle, a healthy pair of guards and someone who can stretch the field and catch the ball. In the NFL, they like to call them wide receivers. Their defense is solid everywhere except Hunter Hillenmeyer, good of the bench, should not start. The Bears defense should have 4 D-Lineman, 2 linebackers (Briggs and Odom), 4 DBs (Tillman, Azumah, Brown and Grey/Green) and Urlacher is his own position in which he roams the field looking to kill.
• Teams in football I have come to hate include the Green Bay Packers, Carolina Panthers, Miami Dolphins and the St. Louis Rams. Why these fatal 4. Green Bay is an overrated one-man team who everyone licks their ass because of Brett Favre. Favre can lick my ass! The Panthers are always looking for a fight, why, because they can't beat anyone on the field. So what they have heart, well they won't after Mike Vick runs all over them...AGAIN! They hate Vick cuz they can't have Vick so if you can't beat him, try to kill him. Too bad they can't even catch him. And the Rams, they like getting it Rammed in their ass. The greatest show on turf isn't football, it is bitch ball, they have one of the best of all time in Marshall Faulk, but instead they let the QB throw the ball randomly and usually ends up in a turnover. And their genius coach is nothing but a Dick Vermeil wanna-be whore! And the Dolphins, even though Wannie is gone, that 72 perfect team can all lick my testicles! Sorry for the obscenities, but I'm listening to angry white folk music, so I gotta go....HOLLER!

Sunday Morning, 5 Days Left

5 days left with Finals week in my face as if I was a snack and Finals week was Shaq. Hey, that rhymes, funny how I can think when waking up sober for the first time in a long time on a Sunday morning. It was weird seeing people come back in the wee hours of the morning drunk, tipsy and high while I was trying to enjoy some sleep in my sickening state. As usual, the congregation met in my room and later moved next door. Silly drunks, but ya gotta love em, cuz at one time (actually, many times) you were with them, among them and one of them. I finished my English paper last night, and I feel really good about it, because it is now one less thing for me to stress or worry about. And of course, finals, along with some new found life drama has made this week potentially a little more stressful. Why does all stress in life come from school, work and women. They all come together. School stress comes from wanting to succeed to get a good job when you get out of school. Then work stress comes from either working harder than you should be or working too hard to make things good in life, to live comfortably. Now living comfortably is a good thing to work for, do not get me wrong. But I've been around people who have always told me go to school so you don't have to work as hard as I do to live comfortably. Now, my favorite stress is women, because it is a stress that you cannot control. You can control school's stress by doing your work, studying and doing good in school. Not waiting til the last minute is always a good thing. A friend once told me "Procrastination is like masturbation, it's all good until you realize you're fucking yourself." You can control work stress after school success. By getting a good education and following it up with a good job that is well paying, lessening the stress. It is a lot harder to control work stress, but it can be done in some cases. I can't control women stress, for me it is impossible. I've had bad luck with women for a long time, I think its part of that damn Billy Goat Curse. It's gotta be, those curses hit everyone up that it touches in many ways. I did grow up 3 blocks away from Wrigley and a frequent visitor of Cubs games and avid die-hard Cubs fan. I was 3 when the Cubs lost it in the 1989 playoffs. I was 7 when the Cubs let Greg Maddux go to Atlanta. I was in 7th grade when the Cubs broke my heart and got swept by the Braves in the 1998 playoffs after winning game 163 to win the Wild Card. I was end of freshman year and beginning of sophomore year when the Cubs led the Central division until September and dropped it like they had no hands. And then there was 2003, the best year of my life. Cubs vs. Yankees. The split of the Crosstown Classic. The elimination of the Cardinals by winning 4 out of 5. The absolute choke of the Houston Astros against bottom feeding Milwaukee which opened the door for the Cubs to win the division. That was the happiest day of my life, September 27th 2003. The Cubs sweep a double headeer with Mark Prior and Matt Clement clinching the division after a loss by Houston who hosted Milwaukee. I was at home, alone, but happy, celebrating with "We are the Champions" playing throughout the house and I was talking to everyone. I wish I was there to celebrate, I probably could have died happy that day, without a care in the world. Then, the best game that I have ever been to in my life capped my year. The series versus heavily favored Atlanta was tied 1-1 with pivotal game 3 being in Chicago where Cy Young (Mark Prior) faced Cy Old (Greg Maddux, former Cub). In a game that was delayed by the rain, Prior dominated as the Cub fans taunted the Bravos with our version of the Tomohawk Chop, it was the Bear Claw Maul. Come on, what more threatening, an Indian with an axe or a gigantic Grizzly bear hungry for a championship. I'd piss my pants either way. Back to the game though, when Prior finished that game, I was convinced the Cubs were going to win the World Series that year. Not next year, not next century, THAT YEAR! The Cubs won that series 3-2 in Atlanta and the celebration took place all night at my house. Then came those damn Marlins, those damn Marlins that I loved because they played hard, now they were here to play my Cubs. We got off to a hot start with a 4-0 and it looked again like we were going all the way. We lost that game 9-8 in 10 innings. We won the next 3 games to take a 3-1 lead to game 5 in Florida the day of my mothers wedding. The alcohol and the women took the pain of the loss away, but we were all sure the Cubs would win it in Chicago, it was as if they planned it that way. It was meant to be as the school bus I was on during a field trip passed Wrigley Field and the bus full of students randomly started singing Take Me out to the Ballgame at the top of our lungs. I was sure we were gonna win it tonight, and with my mom in Vegas, I was ready to go down there to celebrate. It was 1-0 until the 6th inning when the Cubs put up another run to make it 2-0. After shutting them down in the top of the 7th, even Sox fan Bernie Mac claimed the Cubs champs singing "Root, root, root for the Champs Champs!" instead of for the Cubbies. That gave me a bad feeling, but why, Prior was getting stronger and I was on my way to celebrate. When I got to the stadium, it was 8-3 Marlins, and all hope was lost. I missed the next day of school sick. Sick because I got caught in the rain and in the cold of earlier that day, and sick because that was the feeling that Cub fans had in 1945, 1969 and 1984. But this year was different, we had Wood...Kerry Wood. And at one point in game 7 we were winning 5-3 after Wood and Alou hit homeruns. I was convinced laying in my basement bed that we were gonna win. Then it all collapsed from there, and the Marlins won. Just like it all collapsed at the end of 2004 and the Cardinals, not the Cubs like everyone predicted, won the NL and gave up the Curse Breaking win to the BoSox. That gave me hope, Why not Us? 2005 style! I just hope that one day that the Cubs can take me back to that happy place again. What does this have to do with stress, women, school and 5 days left. Not much to the naked eye, but to me, it all ties together somehow, someway. Be there for the drive in 2005!

Saturday Night, Still 6 Days Left

Yeah, I know, its my second post of the day, but I gotta keep updated. Who knows by the end of the night, I might have another post to put up. Soo, after last night, we slept late and we went to the SIU/Murray State basketball game. We showed up a half-hour late, but was well worth it. SIU won 80-71 thanks to clutch shooting, pressure defense and a raucus crowd at the SIU Arena. I went wit John, Hoos and Vinny. It was great cuz we were loud and we won, I'm glad to be cheering a winner, that is what college is all about, women and sports. If you can't have success with one, there's another and you better be happy there, and I am. I loved SIU football, the #1 team in the regular season. I've never been a part of a #1 team in my life and it was a great experience being on top for that time. The basketball team is something I've always paid attention to, and i'd love to be headed to the sweet 16. If not, I can always cheer on my boys in Chapel Hill, UNC baby. So, I guess today was a good day. I did nothing but sleep, be online, go to the basketball game and eat. Oh and I finished my english paper, and that feel good, now I'm free. Um, I have a lot on my mind. It's weird, because as soon as I say everything is back in balance, or is getting to that point, stupid shit happens. Like women. Don't take this personal, but I hate women. All of them, they drive me nuts. I cannot believe the way they treat me sometimes. Okay, I take it back, all of it. I love women, my mother is a woman, and that helps. I love being single, in fact its pretty cool. You save a lot of money that way and avoid a lot of confrontations. But whenever the holidays come around and then you feel lonely. It starts after Thanksgiving when its time to go Christmas shopping. No one special to shop for, and you've got your friends in your ear asking you what to get for their girl. Then Christmas time comes around with all that damn mistletoe. I could never find any, and when I did, I couldn't get them girls under a mistletoe. It was like trying to get a rat in the rat trap by putting cheese on it. It just didn't work. So then there's Christmas dinner only with family, no special someone. Then there's my favorite holiday, Valentine's Day. It is the devils holiday, why do you think there is so much red and hearts being shot at? That is the one day that I hate, absolutely. Its unlucky, its horrible, it takes money out of my pocket. Oh the joys of losing money and depression. I don't know what else to say, I was in a good mood earlier, and now I am just pissed off because right when I start feeling good about something, there's something to be pissed off about. I need a drink, but can't get one. I'm flat broke! Look for a new posting sometime either at midnite or sometime tomorrow.

Saturday Morning, 6 Days Left

6 days left in the semester...YAY! I'm so happy, but I got a lot of stuff to do. I have to do a final draft of my final english paper, I might be doing a re-do of my communications paper because I have a bad feeling about it, and I have to study for 3 finals next week. Not to mention fit in time to pack, clean up the room and get my stuff together to go home next Friday by 3:15 so I can check out on time and get to the train station before 4 o'clock. Whew, thats a lot on my plate, but I'm a hungry kinda guy, so I'll just take it. So, to summarize: 1 Final english paper, 1 final monday, 1 final wednesday and 1 final on thursday. Jobs to do: Call work, get packed, clean the room and get my stuff together. I'm really looking forward to getting this week over and done with. Because not only will I be putting the school part of the semester behind me, I am putting behind me a semester full of ups and downs worthy of a storybook ending. But we won't see one of those for a while for the simple fact that, if I can compare my life to writing a book or a script, I left a lot of loose ends open and it could either end this year, or 4 to 5 years down the line. It's one of those running storylines. College is one big soap opera full of twists and turns and decisions that could be second guessed like you were a football coach. I have a few goals for next semester. I want to write, as much as I can, that is why I will be filling out an application to write for the school paper the Daily Egyptian. Even though I have absolutely no experience when it comes to writing for a newspaper, I have faith in myself and in my writing ability to get the job done. I want to focus more on the school side of college and lean back when it comes to partying and social life. I have enough friends and acquaintances here to be happy when it comes to having a social life, I'm not anti-social, by all means necessary. But if I do better at school, I'll feel better about going out on weekends. That is when I will make my decision when it comes to me drinking again. As soon as I get back in balance, I will be able to look myself in the eye and be able to control my drinking and say to myself, "I'm all good."
The First Step
I believe the first step to a re-birth of my college life and to my happiness came last night in a strange way. It feels like its the first time since the beginning of the year that it was a Friday night and I wasn't going out to get drunk. It was a strange feeling, because thats what you do in college on the weekends, go out and get plastered. Last night, I went out to see a movie. We went to go see Ocean's Twelve and some of us went to see Blade Trinity. It wasn't just me though, it was damn near the whole floor. It was the gang, basically. There was about 14 of us, in 3 cars going to the movies. We packed 3 in the front of a pick-up truck and 6 in a 4 door Olds. 5 fit in a 89 Crown Vic, and we were out. Oceans was great, very well done and will keep you guessing to the end, and when you get to the end you are gonna be like "how did they pull that one off?" But the turning point was on the after the movie. I felt strange for some reason, and not because I was battling a cold sitting out in the flat bed of a pick up truck, I felt strange because instead of being out getting drunk, dancing and looking to get some, I went out and I chilled out, just like I used to do on the weekend. It was a great feeling to be able to be out and relaxed without peer pressure, alcohol and other unnecessary crap. A couple of more weekends like that, and I will be a very happy man.

Good Afternoon, and Happy Friday!

One more week. I'm so happy. I got one final at 8pm on Monday, I got extra credit final monday too, but thats much earlier. No one is happier than me that the semester is ending. Because next semester the room is mine and its gonna be great. Mine all mine, its gonna be great because i'm not gonna deal with disappearing food, dishes or any other crap that was mine and used without my persmission. Let's see, oh yeah, and maybe I'll get laid. Who knows with my roommate gone i can finally open up again and start fresh all over again. Fresh start at school, fresh start socially as well. Won't be tied down with people mistaking him for me and etcetera. I might actually have another roommate next semester, I got a guy that wants to live on our floor, so maybe I'll go in wit him. It'd be alright. Well, thats it, I'm gonna go see Ocean's Twelve, cuz 12 is the new 11. Holler.

Views, Thoughts, Opinions, Ideas and other B.S. with only 8 Days left in the semester

Fact or Fiction:

1. 'New York' by Ja Rule, Fat Joe and Jadakiss is his best released single since 'Holla Holla.' FACT. Its true, difference is that 'Holla' was a solo project in which he was raw on the scene. Sure, he sounded like DMX without the street savvy, but his aggresiveness was there and so was potential. Other song titles on the album included murder, hoes and motherfuckers, but then he went soft, like a bitch. He turned in his aggressiveness to sing to ladies. That's like if Randy Johnson gave up on his fastball to throw nothing but change-ups. Sounds like not a good idea for fans of raw and rugged New York rap. All in all, 'New York' has an awesome beat and gives people from the Big Apple something to be proud of.

• Ja Rule will be embraced because of the hit status of 'NY'. FICTION. First of all, his verse isn't the best on the track, it is the worse. Fat Joe's "Even Roy Jones was forced to lean back" and Jada's AOL line stole the show from Ja. If Fat and Kiss weren't on the track, it would just be another Clapback, a song with a cold beat with a bitch on the track. That is like if Lil Jon or Dr. Dre wasted a beat on New Kids on the Block, it'd be wrong, dead wrong. But most likely, if Jon or Dre do it, its gotta be for a good cause, no matter who its for. 'New York' is looking like it is going to get a new remix co-starring T.I. representing Atlanta and Ice Cube representing the West Coast. Finally, Ja Rule has figured out the only way he can sell records again. He could just get great artists that are better than him to sell the record. Might put money in his pocket, but sure as hell won't save his career. In fact, I'm waiting for the G-Unit comeback to New York where they rep New York and rip Ja Rule. After that I'm waiting for the Twista remix, cuz he remixes everything and probably has a few verses in his head already. Twista, Kanye and Shawnna--Chi-towns fienst. "We love the Chicago Cubs and hate the New York Knicks/homie I'm from Chitown."

2. Carlos Beltran will not be in a Houston Astros uniform next year. I've gotta say FACT. During the playoffs, he was on the record saying that he loved playing in Wrigley Field and wouldn't mind playing in Chicago. From the reports from the Houston locker room, he and his teammates left on sour terms after the game 7 loss in the NLCS in which Carlos Beltran was the true MVP of that series. If Carlos doesn't return, neither does the Rocket. Beltran's move or lack of it pretty much decides who will be in the race for the NL Central next year.

• Carlos Beltran will definetly sign with the New York Yankees. FICTION. Other teams pursuing Beltran include the Angels, Cubs, Astros, Phillies, Mariners, Mets, and Orioles. Carlos has also said on the record that even though he likes the city of New York, that he does not want to play in a city in which he will inherit a lot of pressure. Well, there goes Philly, New York and Baltimore. The Mariners are far from a winner, the Astros won't pony up all of the money and that leaves the Angels vs. Cubs. Carlos loved the AL, but had more success in the NL. And there is no city where he could shine like in New York without major pressure. Besides the me and my legion of doom like Cub fans who are thirsting for a championship by all means necessary, who is going to pressure the Cubs or the Trib to win right now? Joe Yuppie making conference calls from his suite sipping on Old Style like it was a French wine. How about Jane Hoe looking to bang either someone in the bleachers, box seats or in the back of Kyle Farnsworth's gigantic GMC Yukon. Carlos, I as a fellow Puerto Rican, am opening my doors to you to come to Chicago, not during a weekend set as a visitor, but for a long term relationship. We have an awesome Puerto Rican parade in June, usually during hopefully the second most important championship, the City Championship, which we own. Carlos, come to Chicago, and be crowned King of the Midwest!

8 Days Left

Joy to the world, there is only 8 days left in the semester, and there is no one happier than I am. Even though I am losing a friend and a roommate I'll make the best of it. For one thing it will be easier to sleep. I was already a detractor of country music, now I damn near hate it. To be honest, some of their videos can be funny, especially the ones mocking the hicks making the music, or ones with hot chicks, but after that, nothing. Depressing music about hunting dogs dying, wives/sisters leaving and a man who has no more liquor can only go so far. So, next music, there will be no country music blaring at the highest volume level the TV can handle without exploding. There will be no unwelcomed or uninvited late night visitors when I have a class at 10 am next semester. However, there will be no more drunks to look after in my room, unless they all congregate in my room. I will have a room to my own, to study in peace, to sleep in peace and to hopefully bring back some honeys...YEAH! I'll prioritize and re-evaluate my college situation and make some new decisions. In other news, there is only one more drinking day until further notice. In a breaking news story, Saturday night, I made a very brash and unneccessary decision. I am dropping alcohol. Why you ask? Why would you stop drinking in the most notorious party school in the country? Because, that's why. First of all, it is a damn expensive habit for a kid who doesn't have a job and who's parents are squeezing every penny they got to make this college experience worth it. I also now see myself falling into old habits that I used to get into when I used to drink freshman year. Yes, I admit it now, I drank freshman year before I went to school. I had a hook up, and as I looked back, it was stupid because the only reason I did it is because I wanted to fit in. It cost me, not in the gradebook where the only class I blew was drafting, thats because my motor skills aren't up to par, had nothing to do with alcohol, I never even got unnecessarily drunk, that I could remember, well a couple of times. But there's nothing you could do about it now, I have forgiven myself for that and those of you who read this now, I beg for your forgiveness as well. Saturday night, at the pit, I took a look at my surroundings and only 1/4 way through my lemonade/vodka I flashed through my life. Missed opportunities, immaturity, stupidity, and an old need to fit in. That was the old me, a me that I thought was gone a long time ago. I have finally learned that alcohol is not needed for friendship, it just causes problems. I have friends that will be my friends no matter if I drink or if I don't, and that is what is important, true friendship. Not friendship through a bottle of Absolute, Bacardi, Jack, etc. but friendship through connections you make by being sober and introducing yourself as yourself, not a modified drunk version of yourself. Oh, and that thought that alcohol will help get you laid, the answer is no, I'm still a virgin, and you would think alcohol would help out my visual features. But honestly, who wants to take home a drunk? So, I have put one day aside to drink, and I don't know when that day is. It will be during the winter vacation in which I will call upon my friends to celebrate 1st semester of college with one final drink with their favorite drunken Puerto Rican. Then, I can move on in life. I will put away the anger, depression and all the evils I find with alcohol and put them away for good, with help from my friends. I thank them ahead of time. Will I drink again after that, yes. However, it will be my decision and my decision only. There will be no peer pressure, no trick drinking, no half-assed excuses either. I will learn from my past and will rise again.

Dorm Stories

To protect the names of the innocent, the names here have been changed....One day Jane was visiting James late one night. James seemed to lose the remote, or so he thought. He looked everywhere, but couldn't find it anywhere. Later that morning, the channels were changing miraculously as before Jane left, she gave James the remote back. There, at that point, James swore revenge. Later the next night, James came up with the old idea of putting shaving cream in a bag and putting it under the crease of the door and having it seep through the door cracks and on to the floor. He succeeded in his revenge, but Jane was madder than ever. When James suddenly left to achieve a higher level of knowledge, Jane and her friend Dave made their move. Jane and Dave took James mattress and through it down the stairwell and took his clothes from him. Later, others chipped in. Mark and Randy disassembled James' bed and put it back together in an end lounge. Later others put his clothes on top of his bed along with trash and exploded a condom balloon on top of it. Now, James has returned with a higher level of knowledge, but angry. His stuff was missing and who was to blame, his poor, defenseless and sleepy roommate Jose. He threatened Jose's stuff would go missing, but Jose threatened back. "Mess with them, you won't see them and they won't see you ever again. Mess with my stuff, you'll be seeing me a lot." Jose, as smart and as tired he was after being rudely awakened, went to sleep next door. James did not get his stuff back into the room until the next afternoon. He threatened all as if he was a terrorist planning his last stand before his last hurrah. For the next 8 days, we are all on high alert.

To End on a Positive Note

I don't know how to end this on a positive note, so I am writing as I am thinking. I am going to apply for a job with the school newspaper. I am hoping this is going to be my big break into writing. I have been told and named 'The Best Writer You Have Never Read.' and that is a dignified position for someone with no journalism experience. Sure, I wrote on the side, I wrote my own opinions and thoughts as if it was a newspaper (one that was roughly done without editing or proper language.) I have always had a love to write, since I was in first grade writing at a higher level than other students and I was writing in a Young Authors course in which I used my creativity and wrote mystical stories with the creativity and liveliness of a child with the maturity of a young and growing writer. After I transferred schools in 4th grade, my career in Young Authors ended as well. I wrote essays though, good ones too. Back in my second grammar school, there was one every year that we were forced to write and the best were sent to overseas. Every year, there were two deadlines, one for the ones to be submitted for overseas competition, and one for a grade. I never thought I was good enough to be considered with these kids who have had a better, magnet school education all of their life. And every year, my teacher would tell me: "Luis, if you had turned this in before the first deadline, you'd be heading overseas." The other thing they told me was that I never worked to my full potential and that if I ever did, I would make it big. I am now realizing that, and with a little push here and there I am workign toward my full potential. One day, my goal is to make an impact in the media. I want my own newspaper article hopefully covering my favorite home town sports teams (Cubs, Bears, or Bulls), or an advice article (it is so much easier to solve other peoples problems than my own, I've realized that too, or maybe even covering the hot news or an opinion piece, because everyone knows that I have an opinion about everything. Hopefully that can lead to a career in the radio business. Playing the hottest music out there, flirting with barely legal girls that want to hear a song and will do anything to hear it ( so that sounds kinda wrong, I take it back. But hey, there are these DJs that sound like they are in their early-mid 20s and in truth and honesty these guys are 40-50 years old. I'll be the 21 year old flirting with the 18 year old, and that's not wrong.) Maybe my own sports talk show, or maybe the next voice of the Cubs, my true life-long dream. Then that could lead to me managing the Cubs one day, my other life-long dream, to a World Championship, hopefully they would have more than two when I take that job over. Hey Bob Brenley did it, why not me? People say dreams are for those who have no sense of reality. I say dreams are for people who want to change a perception of reality. I am a big dreamer, because if you shoot for the moon and miss, you will land among the stars. HOLLER!