Friday, November 18, 2005

Randomness on my last full day in Carbondale

Yay, no classes tomorrow, a basketball game and then i get to go home. I might be going out this friday since I have the room all to myself but it's unlikely. On the other hand it's likely that I do go out. We'll see where the wind (an hopefully a Saluki victory) takes me.
Last night I made promises about what I was gonna write and gave little tidbits about things I was gonna drop tonight. Well folks I ain't gonna disappoint, here's tonights random thoughts....
RANDOM THOUGHTS (from yesterday AND today)
Okay we'll start with the story that scares me the most, and I'll give a little bit of background on it too. In August my roommate, in attempt to boost my confidence with the ladies, pawned this girl on the internet from Michigan on me. To keep a long story short, he met her through a friend of his who met her online. She came on to him last year but he rejected her when he got a girlfriend in real life. He put her on to me too give me a boost. In the beginning, I fell for it. But at the same time I said that it wouldn't suprise me if this was all a complete, elaborate hoax because "any girl that thinks I'm a hottie is either blind or a liar." Those were my exact words, ask my friends. Well anyways, a month later she supposedly attempted committing suicide on the anniversary of the day she broke up with my roommate's friend, and then while in the hospital the doctors found out that she had lung cancer. Days after that she died of the lung cancer at the age of 19. A very shady story in my eyes. On top of that, her sisters were making posts on her Xanga page updating and talking and blah blah blah. Oh and then on top of that, we find out that these people: her, her friends, her "family" are all made up people just to elaborate the story. You have to be sick to do that. Then out of no where another sister pops out of the blue and says that she's taking over the site and that she was looking for a boyfriend. Not necessarily you do something RIGHT AFTER the death of family. But the funny thing is that the pictures that she supposedly puts up of herself were the ones her sister gave to me. Then she stalked my roommate and myself, I changed AOL ScreenNames, and now she tries to talk to me on the my space account that I have. Now there's another one that describes herself just like the other ones: blonde, tennis/volleyball players who's single and looking, but instead of Michigan she's in Springfield, IL. Yeah, creepy stalker lady, YIKES! Oh wait, here's a new one that was brought to my attention. I looked at her two Xanga sites and yeah, the one she originally has all of a sudden she comes back to life 3 months later and is back with the original boyfriend. Oh and the one she made after she supposedly left that one, the new sister has moved to California. All of this has made me so sick, it makes me wonder about the power of curses, hexes, jinxes and things of that nature that have been put upon me. It makes me think that I've done something wrong in life to deserve being lied to and deceived in this matter. It makes me think that I'm destined to be alone in life....But enough with that, because that's a different blog for a different night. Here's a simple one for ya, I give my roommate about not thinking before he speaks and says something stupid. Well I should heed my own advice, granted, I was coerced to say that because of the situation and what had been said and it was something I usually said but knowing the circumstances and the "mixed company" I should have known better than to say what I said. Me and my stupid mouth....Great quotes from english class: Reading this book will give you an STD.-teacher Today's the perfect day to slit your throat.-teacher. GREAT QUOTES! The quote with throat slitting was interesting because it was such a gloomy day and things like that, it did seem like a perfect day. And the book we're currently reading: Waiting For The Barbarians is a dirty dirty book....Ooh, remember when I found my mind the last few days, well that happened when a certain someone left the area and yeah, mind clear. They come back all of a sudden, minds back to being dumb mind again and yeah that sucks! I don't know, the power of certain people shocks me sometimes, puts me in my place to think about it....songs, oh I love music and can't live without it, but the other day I was listening to some songs that yeah, they put me in a depressed mood. Funny thing is that was the kind of music I wanted to listen to, I wanted something mellow. Well it got so mellow it brought me back to a time period where I was unhappy with myself and things. But then there's music that just picks me up when I'm down. Then there's music that absolutely just pumps me up and motivates me to do things. That's the power of music, it cna put you in your place, it can put you in a frame of mind, it can take you anywhere and yea, I LOVE MUSIC....I was gonna talk about covers but yeah nothing special is coming to my mind right now....We're still in the same situation that we were in this last weekend. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself, I really don't. That's the problem with women, when you're younger you don't want them, you get older you want them but they don't want you. However, I've never been wanted by someone that I wanted in return (and have known about it.) The parenthases are prefaced by a series of events that happened earlier in my life that probably changed my relationship with girls for a long time, or at least til I get my first relationship. I hate when I like a girl and she doesn't know it or when I like a girl and she doesn't like me back the way I do. Or to top that, I hate when I like a girl who likes another guy and that guy likes someone else and the beat goes on if you catch my drift. I've never knowingly been that guy. Once again, bad luck and bad timing contribute to my current situation with women. But yeah, it just drives me insane to think that I like someone and the feelings aren't mutual and that I can do nothing about it because they've already made up their mind. So you're stuck in a pickle. Ooh, here's a goodie for ya. Person A likes Person B. Person B like's Person A's friend, Person C. Person C however has no clue what's going on, and confides in their friend Person A. Now Person A is stuck in a dilemma. Where do Person A's loyalties lie? With Person C or with Person B? Or no loyalties to others, just loyalties with themselves. Wow, that makes Philosophy look easy. These are the moments in which I wish I could bring back my old favorite segment: What Would Lu Do? Well, here's your chance people, got a question about anything? Need advice? Need a prediction? Want a thought? Before Jean-Jean Pierre was doing horoscopes at NIU and before Dave Chappelle's Show had Ask A Black Guy and Ask A Gay Guy, I was in High School writing bullshit with a psuedo-advice column that I called 'What Would Lu Do?'
And that concludes RANDOM THOUGHTS! WOO HOO! See y'all in Chicago unless something important breaks.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

7 Minute Drill

Now it's a 6 minute drill...oh no oh no oh no. So much to talk about in so little time. Not really. I don't know why I'm posting when there isn't much to post about. So I guess this will be a quick one. Well, since I don't wanna spill a lot, I guess this will be the cliff hanger episode in which I drop hints and things and let you people come back tomorrow and see what's up. Let's see: new potential stalker that might be based from the past. Let's see, um, my stupid mouth. 4 minutes....coincidence between certain people and the disappearance, re-emergance and at times vacationing mind. My torn heart, my torn mind, and if I was a Chicago Cub, I'd have a torn elbow or shoulder. 3 minutes....times ticking on this blog and on the clock of going home. No class Friday. Two minutes....funny quotes from my teacher this week and why I love my english class so much! So many songs to download when I get home, then to put on my already full i-pod, i got a lot of important decisions to make...maybe i should get a full I-pod...any one got 300 bucks I can borrow without the intent of giving them back. One minute left, time for the victory lap. Songs that bring back bad memories. Songs that bring back good memories. Favorite songs, songs I hate, songs that I'd love to cover and songs that shouldn't be covered by anyone, not even Kanye West (if that's possible cuz the man can turn any song into gold or platinum) DONE!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Kanye West: Worth The Hype

The highlight of the first semester was worth the wait and so worth the hype, it was wonderful. I missed Keyshia Cole, but I don't feel I missed much. I caught the end of Fantasia, wasn't impressed, in fact I was frightened and disheartened. I don't like people screaming at me. The highlight of Fantasia was when she let the one guy sing and then they cut to a sampling of Trillville's Some Cut. I was also amused by the B-A-B-Y M-A-M-A, they baby mama song. Inspires me to make an album some time soon. Well, let's move on to the showstopper himself, Chi-town's Finest, Mr. H-to-the-Izzo, 'Ye, Kanye to the..., Mr. West, K. West, Kanyeezee....Kanye West. Worth the swait and the price of admission from song one til the end. To make this short since I have a paper due in 12 hours and 41 minutes, my favorite songs from his set were: Spaceship, Addiction, Jesus Walks, Gold Digger and All Falls Down. I liked how he incorporated old school songs and original parts of the songs that he sampled as bits of introductions to the songs. I love how he came out in a SIU t-shirt. The costume changes were awesome because he was so quick with it. Diamonds was another highlight and so was the light show during Addiction. And the falling confetti during We Major was good. Crack Music live was better than I expected, though I wish he woulda done verse two where idictes President Bush on aiding Saddam in getting anthrax, but he made up for it in All Falls Down "and George Bush gets paid off of all of that." I liked when he sang samples of the chorus' of songs that he produced such as Overnight Celebrity and Encore and played some other Roc-A-Fella classics. The freestyle during Slow Jams is something I would LOVE to have on audio, hopefully someone could get that, that'd be sweet. I think the ultimate moment was during Gold Digger towards the end he stopped and said basically told white folks that this was the only time they could say the n-word and get away with it and that they better say it now. The crowd ERUPTED. It was a great show, too bad a lot of people weren't there to see it. It was great, it definetly ranks in my top concerts seen. Hairbangers Ball...EAT YOUR F'N HEART OUT!!!!

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

YAY! I FOUND MY MIND! (and other things that happened today)

Finally I get to blog! What a day, what a day, let me repeat WHAT A DAY FOR YOUR BOY LU! Where do I begin? Well, started my day off with a brunch meal before actually going to my math class. It was very satisfying to eat and then walk to class. Class sucked though so that was a bit of a buzz kill. In a class of 200 kids only 57 showed up. Amazing. Next class was next door and yeah I had some problems there. I have a lot of problems paying attention in that class it's so boring and so blah! Then came the highlight of the day, English class. I was praised for once on my papers and how hard I work in that class and how I owe it to my parents. Funny how this came up. Our teacher asked us how we would describe our parents. Liberal and easy? Lotsa hands went up. In the middle? A few hands went up. A few hands went up for strict. She asked me why I didn't raise my hand. That's when I answered, I'd describe my parents as a tyranny, a dictatorship I guess. And then came the praise. "And you've turned out pretty well from what I'm seeing." It's so true, sure I didn't have the greatest social life in high school. Sure, I wasn't allowed to stay up late, go out when I want, hell the only reason I had a car was because it was a hand me down from my auntie. Even then I had curfew's and things. YAY FOR MY PARENTS, y'all raised a good one. Now to the highlight of English class but not before some other stuff. I've accomplished something in that class, I'm able to relate the books that we've read to things that people say and stuff in real life. That's how you know you've accomplished something at school. 10 years from now, no one's gonna care about what your GPA was, they're gonna care how knowledgeable you are. Well, my teacher made an off-hand remark about how today was the perfect day for suicide. Cold, dreary, wet, a very depressing looking day, she makes a great point. Which brought up the right to live: who is to tell you how to live your life. Which was the EXACT point in the story we read two books ago Mrs. Dalloway. YAY me for learning and reacting and responding. Later we talked about racism, contradiction and how one persons last words in the book Heart of Darkness is an idictment not only on himself and the people around him on the mission, but can be meant for others. Read the book by Joseph Conrad 'Heart of Darkness' it's worth the read! And here's where I had my epiphany in class today. Basically we were talking about infactuation and crushes. And how crushes aren't a reflection of the person you are crushing on, instead they are a reflection of you. You crush on person A and in your eyes they can do no wrong, they're perfect. And one way or another the crush ends. It could be rejection, a blooming relationship. Not only in that way but the crush ends in a subtle way like actually talking to them or meeting them. That's the hump, it's all downhill from there any way you put it. And THAT is where it hit me. Everything. Everything, it all made sense, everything fell in place in my mind and my mind was at peace. I felt weight off my shoulder leave. Everything made sense it was like a ray of sunlight came through the clouds and everything was settled. EVERYTHING MADE SENSE. Things with girls made sense FINALLY. I reflected on myself and it was like wow, it was a reflection on me and just everything clicked. It was great, I couldn't help myself. Things with life made sense, it was great, it was a great feeling to be happy.....Well enough of that there were some other interesting things that happened today, but nothing really to write home about. Actually there's more stuff to talk about my vision, but I wanna sleep on it before I write it in here. Also I've resigned myself to a lot of fates that I really wish I didn't have to resign myself too. Most of them do concern women, in fact, all of them too. It all stems from a conversation with my roommate. Yeah, we still like the same girl and we were talkin about it. We were talking about the prospects of them and all of the other guys that like her. We eliminated them for one reason or another, then I basically eliminated myself. There's the self reflection. Here's exactly how I eliminted myself:

"Me (lmfao) in my wildest dreams that include a year in which the bears, bulls, cubs and SIU win championships and i'm there to witness each of them in person front row with a press pass."

It's how I felt and how I feel. My roommate didn't do anything or say anything to refute that, I actually thought he would, I guess it hurt more after he agreed completely. He knows how I feel about her, hell I told him in the beginning when I met her. But yeah, I guess we differ too much, I can't give her what she wants, despite how simple she is. She doesn't come with major baggage, she doesn't come with 'me' issues, she's got a great personality, a good head on her shoulders, but she's country I'm city. And I'm actual city, not prep. I'm from the streets bitch j/k. I come from a middle class home where I was raised correctly with an old school mindset about a lot of things. Where we conflict is supposedly my views on women. Somehow I see women as a piece of ass that should be taken care of. OHHHH MY!!!!! Well, I have to defend myself, and here's my defense. College has skewed my views on women. I have NEVER looked at women as a piece of ass and if someone believes that then they obviously don't know me. If I somehow come off like that, either people can't read me or I'm sending out the wrong vibes. But all in all, COLLEGE HAS FUCKED ME OVER. The media has helped in that process. Peer pressure has helped further that sick thought in my head. The whole prom night sex thing...overrated and not worth the time effort and most importantly money that goes into the potential of having sex with a girl. One night stands, HAH! I laugh, especially the one's that are alcohol related. I don't want to wake up next to a random girl wondering "what the fuck happened last night?" or something with no strings attatched. I'm not like that, I never thought of anything like that. But between the media that pushes sex everywhere and dangles it in your face as something attainable and as if it was something you wanted and needed and couldn't live without. And then peer pressure pushes it to a limit and it pushes you more than pushing, it shoves you and forces you to pick a side, it's like a friggin Dusty Baker motivational speech. You're either with them or with us. You either need to be having random meaningless sex with anything that walks or you need to be a virgin 'til marriage or the right girl comes along. College has skewed my mind too much. Here's another self reflection, I'm too weak. I'm too weak to handle this pressure; the peer pressure, the media crusade all that stuff, I'm too weak. But the idea that I think of women as a piece of ass, well it comes when it's forcefed down your throat from the media and your "friends." The friends that tell you that its overrated are the ones pressuring you the most. It's your friends that have relationships and whenever you're around you can't escape it. You can't escape that lovey-dovey feeling. And this is where I'm weak too, I've finally learned I'm the jealous type. Shame on me, I've never been one to be jealous of what someone else had because I always wanted my own things. But once again as you get older, your mind is shaped for you. But yeah back to this girl. I have to get this off my chest because the similarities between her and the girl from last year are just too eerie to overlook them. Cute, blonde, great personality, simple genuine small town girls and the whole virgin thing. And sometimes I think its just me. And the cherry on top the new girl used the old girl's ID to get into the concert on Saturday. IRONY IS ALL OVER THIS BEYOTCH! I was actually joking (kinda) when I was telling my roommate that sometime before this semester is over, I'm gonna get completely trashed and confess my love in a way that makes last year look small time. It's funny cuz the same way I felt about the girl last year is the same way I feel about the one this year. There's connections and similarities. But because of what happened last year, it's why I'm keeping a lot to myself and on this blog. I don't want to lose another friend. Oh, funny thing number two, irony number two. I might have mentioned last night that last years girl wants to go to Columbia College in Chicago because SIU can't give her the fame and things of that nature that the big city can. And I'm THE QUISESSENTIAL CITY BOY! It actually sickens me. And at this point I realize, my mind is working again. The fact that my mind is fully functional again makes me smile inside and out. Ladies and gentleman, I'm back, so get ready for the old school Lu-style blogs. Informing, entertaing and maybe, just maybe you might catch a laugh or two along the way. I'm back motherfuckers!!!!!

Monday, November 14, 2005

Sunday Thoughts

Sunday's come and gone and I have mixed feelings. Good feelings: Bears won! What a game it was, crazy wind playing tricks with kicks and 108 yard missed field goal returns. I think the best part was that former rodeo clown (i'm convinced he wasn't a rodeo cowboy) Cody Pickett, now QB for the 49ers was 1-28 completions. Antwaan Randle El of the Steelers went 1-1 for a 51 yard play! But yeah, the Bears won, that's all I really accomplished today.
Countdown's Galor
Woo, if there's anything I love, it's countdowns. First off, only 1 day until Kanye West comes to the SIU Arena! I'm so happy, finally MY MUSIC comes to town. I enjoyed LBC, they're awesome. Hairbangers Ball is fun but ya know I only knew half of the songs and supposedly it looks like I wasn't having fun, but ya know, shit I should take white folks to a rap concert in the middle of the city and see how much fun they have. Once again, I will relate the following to Chappelle's Show. I'll reference season one episode 4, the Mad Real World. Where Chappelle goes where I've always wanted to go. You put the one black guy around the craziest white folks and you're gonna get some awkwardness and you're gonna see the brother flip. Can't blame him, shit I do it all the time. It's why I say, I hang out with too many white people, its because I do. I'm not saying I don't mind the company of my white friends, but damn, I feel out of place. And that's how I feel around suburbanites and country folks, just like they should feel out of place when I take them through The City. But yeah, I feel like any minority would feel around a crowd of 200 slightly intoxicated white folks. Next I reference to season 2 where Chappelle explains that white people actually can dance, they need the right music. In short, Chappelle and guest John Mayer play electric guitar because electric guitar is the white persons dancing weakness. They just hear the electric guitar and they just let loose. You play the electric guitar around most minorities, you'll be yelled at to turn that racket down. You wanna see minorities dance? Get some drums and Questlove from the roots and u got a beat. But for some hispanics you might need a jive talkin jibberish speaking hispanic, a conga line and some island like sounds and bam! You got a party. That's where white people fail at dancing. They don't dance to hip-hop, R&B, salsa or merengue. Just like minorities don't let loose when they hear electric guitar and a white man singin in spandex! It just doesn't work like that. So for those of you who read this and thought I had a bad time at Hairbangers, take all that into consideration. Damn, I can relate a lot of things in life to The Simpsons, Family Guy, The War At Home, Chappelle's Show, any of Chris Rock's stand-up shows and The Kings of Comedy ooh and The Sandlot. I can grab here and there for things in other movies and shows, but yeah those relate to me VERY WELL!!!! Back to the countdowns! 5 days til I go home. And when I got my Friday and Saturday planned out to the most part. Friday I got class til 3. I'm gonna finish packing and go to the basketball game at 7 pm. After the game, I party. I go to any house party I can find (hopefully I have some money) and I'll get drunk maybe I can find me a one night stand since I'll have the room ALL TO MYSELF. But I can't miss the train at 3 am so she gotta be gone by then actually she gotta be gone by 2 so i can get my wits about me and be at the train station at 2:30. So yeah, I get home Saturday morning, my mom is gonna pick me up, I gotta call Anna to tell her I'm coming to see her Saturday and I'll be seeing her as much as I can next week. Um...oh yeah Saturday night is the B-Day/Going Away/Welcome Back party at Tony's house. B-day is his girlfriend's, she turns 20. Going Away is our friend George who's in the Army right now. And they're welcoming back me. Hopefully they welcome me back with food, booze and hoes. ;-) Hey I am a very wishful person at this point. So I'll be partying it up back in the CHI!!!! And yep, that's it. 34 days until X-Mas break and there's no one more excited than me. That means no more school for a month, that means home cooked meals, listening to the Score on actual radio working at McDonald's for minimum wage and it means friends and family too. I just found out my friend Calla (yes, Calla from last year) won't be coming back next semester and that she's trying to go to Columbia College in Chicago. Can't blame the girl for wanting the city life, hell I miss it more than anyone. Somethin bout that big city and bright lights. Makes me wonder more about last year, but hey gotta move on, remember "The past is for losers and cowards." Dusty said it, but Ditka said it first and DITKA IS GOD!!!! You gotta believe in the Ditka. In Conclusion I can't wait for Kanye, I can't wait til Thanksgiving and Thanksgiving break, and I can't wait to go home for X-mas vacation. Tick.....tick...tick..tick.tick!!!!! Time keeps on tickin', tickin', tickin'!!! And for once this weekend I'm smiling. Oh and if you are wondering, nothing's changed since last night, I still feel the same way about everything!!!!

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Fast Times in Salukiville

Wow, whatta day and night in Carbondale. I guess I can take you step by step through my day. It'd be cool like that. So I woke up at 10 am for NO REASON, it's not like I had class or anything. I woke up at 10, got out of bed at 10:30 after my friend Steve walked randomly in my room and woke me up and just left. I took a shower to clean myself after that crappy night I had last night and I did what I usually did after I get out of the shower, I went to the computer. I read my newspapers online, checked my fantasy football, hockey and basketball teams did some transactions with them and then moved on to My Space, Facebook and Xuqa. Nothing special, though I do like the Xuqa blogs. They give me some entertainment in the usually blah world of internet hook up sites. I left for the battle of SIUs at 12:30 with Steve. SIU-Carbondale, the school I currently go to, proved themselves to be the REAL SIU with a 50-31 win over the SIU Rejects of Edwardsville. Great defense and poor offense led to the final score. An offense that a week ago was crisp and potent turned sluggish and lost for direction. I'm hoping I don't have to see that again and that Jamaal Tatum takes control of this team like Hairston and Brooks did before. Like Tatum did in the first half of that game against Oklahoma State in the NCAA Tournament. Woo! 4-Time Defending MVC Champs, I can't get enough of that. Hey, I'm from the Chi, we don't win much and when we do, we celebrate like crazy and we cherish those teams forever! After the game, we came back to the room and had mom's kick ass chilli. I ended up eating two of the red hot peppers that were most likely intended for my roommate. Despite the heat, the chilli was probably the best I've had in a loooong time! Hours and hours after chilli we went to Hairbangers Ball. Hairbangers ball is basically live whitey music. LoL. He he he. I had to throw that in. Basically, Hairbangers Ball is a cover band of hit 80s music such as Def Leppard, Poison, Mottley Crue, Van Halen, you know bands like that. Songs like Pour Some Sugar On Me, Jump, Girls! Girls! Girls!, etc. But three songs really had me pumped. First off Jump by Van Halen. My love for that song extends of course to the Cubs. In 1984, that was their team theme. And before EVERY game they play it, and it reminds me of all of the good times I've had at Wrigley. Second was the final song of the night, You Give Love A Bad Name by Bon Jovi. I love that song, cuz damn, I know a lot of girls that give love a bad name. Finally, Enter Sandman by Metallica!!! That song came to fame of course because it is every awesome closer's entrance theme. Billy Wagner and of course the greatest closer of all-time Mariano Rivera. It's an awesome pump up song, that was their second to last song of the night and yeah, I SCREAMED EVERY WORD AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS WITH MY ROOMMATE!!!!!! It was sooo awesome. Even the band acknowledged that that was the loudest they've heard any crowd sing that song ever. It's a bad ass song, I don't know what else to say about that! After the show, we ate at Don Taco. And after we leave Don Taco, that's when things get roommate, God Bless his soul, needs help. He's been saying he's over his ex for a week now, but after tonight he still isn't over her. She did him bogus though, it's honestly not his fault. She took him for granted, he deserves better and he probably will get better. He talks himself down but he knows better. I know better. He's not the lost cause that I am. He's a good guy who deserves a good girl that will appreciate his valiant efforts as a boyfriend. Someone who won't manipulate him and take him on a roller coaster ride. I know I know, people reading this will say it so I'll say it myself now: isn't that what every good guy deserves? Isn't that what every good guy wants? Of course it is, but fella's gotta admit, they're willing to put up with the first piece of good ass that they get and will be willing to put up with the girl's baggage as long as she's good in the sack. Wow, sorry lost my train of thought, I had visitors. Well anyways yeah, shit's whack. Gotta love women, they are the cause and solution to a lot of life's problems. Well anyways, yeah, I spent about a half hour talking my roommate off of the edge. Anyways, well, um...yeah, I'm conflicted. Turns out my roommate and I like the same girl. Go figure!!! I can't help it, I like southern girls, it's like my um, whaddya call it, it's like um...not necessarily my preference but it's something I'm very attracted to and usually has a big word attatched to it but my mind is fuzzy now, at 4:17 am, I can't think of it. So anyways we like the same girl. I'll be honest, as much as it hurts me to say this, let him have her. I can't compete with him, let alone the guys that she actually likes. I'm convinced I'll never be someone's special somebody. I'm resigned to that fate, and there's nothing I can do about that. But what REALLY sucks about this is that I don't know what to do. How can I help him when I know where my mind lies? There's only two ways to get over her. Way number one is to stop being friends with her. I can do that, I'm Lu, I kill friendships with girls all the time. Hell the girl I liked last year, I rarely talk to her and see her and yeah, whenever she comes around, I get that funny feeling inside my body about her, but maybe it's just cuz I see her in doses. But I'm relatively over her. Maybe I need to be far away, that's a great idea, the best way of completing that is going home, for good. Way number two is to find a girl. Not just any girl, THE GIRL! No one night stand, no booty call, no nothing like that. I'm talking the girl, I'm talking girlfriend material! There are certain girls that fit that. But this is me we're talking about, so yeah, not gonna happen. Though it's nice to think of. I need to go home. I can't wait, 6 days! WOO HOO!!!!! Yeah, but if I don't get a girlfriend or if I don't just drop her as a friend, I'm gonna end up like I did last year. I'd rather not drop her as a friend. She's been a good friend in the time that I've known her and I hate losing good people as friends, especially girls. God knows I don't have many friends at it is, let alone friends of the opposite sex. That's it for now, I'm tired and I want to be up at noon to watch football. I highly doubt that will be happening. Lost cause, signing off from Salukiville.