Friday, January 07, 2005

Things to Look Forward to in 2005

There's a bunch of shit I'm looking forward to next year. First off, a new semester. Thats gonna mean a lotta fresh starts in several areas for me. I'll be on my own in my own room potentially. Then I can refocus my scrambled brain back to school and raise the pathetic 2.5 GPA i currently have. Therefore, I'm starting fresh academically, personally and mentally when it comes to school. Then, I can reasses my goals for next semester. School, personal life, drinking, women; all of that will be reorganized in my head when it comes to what is most important in my so called college life. I can hopefully finally figure out what I want for myself. What kinda gal do I want, do I want something long term, short term, no term. I'm one of those kinda guys. I don't know what I want, and there are certain situations i cannot see myself in, but I want something. But enough about me. 2005 means another exciting year of Cubs baseball. Hope spring eternal and 97 years later, another team looks to make history and looks to be world chamipion for the first time since 1908. And once again Cub fans should be excited, I sure am, for one reason and one reason only, they aren't expected to do anything. They weren't expected to do anything in 03 and they were 5 outs away from an NL championship. They were expected to win it all in 2004, and they choked under pressure. Without pressure this year, I'll start off my goals reasonable with a playoff birth and we'll work from there. In other sports, we'll have my favorite non-baseball sporting event the NCAA Tournament starring my two fave squads North Carolina and hopefully SIUC. Oh yeah, and the NFL Draft in April, got the Bears drafting fourth this year, that means a good player. Musically, 2005 looks like music will be bringing the heat. New albums from Kanye West, 50 Cent, The Game, Dr. Dre and 2 Outkast albums. Big Boi will be releasing his true solo debut and the dynamic duo of Andre 3000 and Big Boi will be together again looking to recapture the old sound. J. Lo is coming out with a new album, and you know that means nothing but gratuitous ass shots. I'm not complaining, me likey! Paris Hilton's coming out with a new album too. That just means more shots in the mouth for her. LoL--what i speaketh the truth. Then will come summer, and I can guarantee only one thing for the summer...ITS GONNA BE HOT!

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Please Carlos, Don't Go to Queens and Don't Stay In Houston

Carlos Beltran, please don't do us like that. Don't be another free agent to leave us in the rear view mirror. Please come to Chicago. Don't go to the Mets. If you go 3-4 with 3 HRs and 9 RBIs, by not hitting the 4th HR, they'll boo you and throw batteries at you. Don't go to the Yankees. There is so much pressure following Bernie, DiMaggio, Mantle, Maris, Ruth. If you don't win every game, you are on the trade block after every loss. Don't stay in Houston. First of all, leaving Houston will help your offensive numbers. You don't hit well in domes, which Houston's ballpark is. Then this piece of advice is for your health. Do you really wanna play center field in Houston. 480 feet to straight away center field. Then you have to go up a hill and pray that you don't hit that silly flag pole in the middle of the hill. That is an injury waiting to happen. Tearing your knee up running up the hill. Tripping at the foot of the hill and falling face first breaking your jaw. Running into that pole shoulder first seperating your shoulder and you're out for months. The only threat in Wrigley is the brick wall. Which shouldn't worry you, cause Prior and Woody will be striking guys out. Zambrano will be throwing ground balls and Maddux will be making players pop out to the first baseman. And look at your offensive numbers at Wrigley. You are batting .513! Come on Carlos, you want big time celebrity without big time pressure, come out to Wrigley and be an icon without the pressure of battery wielding fans in Queens, shotgun toting fans in Houston, and an owner that will trade you for sawdust if you go 0-for-4 after a 60 game hitting streak. So please Carlos, I plead you, don't go anywhere that isn't the Addison and Clark!

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Don't Get It Twisted, They Still Got A Lot of Work To Do

Cub fans out there REJOICE, yet take caution. According to two publicized reports, the Chicago Sun-Times and the Associated Press, the Cubs have made an offer to the apple of the eyes of Cubs fans everywhere Carlos Beltran. The Cubs have neither confirmed or denied the reports, but are not likely to sign him, this exact minute. The initial offer from the Cubs is still inconclusive but sources close to the Cubs have estimated the offer to be a 5 to 6 year 84 to 90 million dollar contract. That's how the chase for Greg Maddux began last winter, another Boras client of course. It was a lowball offer from the Cubs, one of 3 years $9 million dollars. The deal finished up as one of 4 years and $20 million dollars. Now, I PREDICT (say it like you mean it), that the Cubs final offer will be one around 7 years $125 million.
Cub fans, don't get it twisted, it is only an initial offer. But if they don't get Beltran, don't take it as "Oh at least we tried." DON'T DO THAT! Because truely, the Cubs obvioulsy didn't try hard enough, because the Cubs are like the United States Government. If the Cubs want to pay the money to get someone they can, because they have the resources. If the United States government wants to get a wanted criminal, they can get him, because they have the resources. Don't be happy when they settle for less. When they throw a one-year make good contract with Magglio Ordonez, don't settle for that, as much as I'd love to stick it to the White Sox. When they make an offer to the white, left-handed version of Sammy Sosa, Jeromy Burnitz, don't be happy that we have a left handed power bat, because you know what he needs to be the left handed power off the bench, not starting everyday. Be mad that we didn't dump Sosa for a bag of balls and use his contract money to sign JD Drew and Carlos Beltran. So Cubs fans, to finish, when the Cubs start the year with closer by committee, remember that they could've answered this problem last offseason by signing Keith Foulke or Ugueth Urbina or this season by outbidding the Tigers for Troy Percival or outbidding the Giants for Armando Benitez. If the Cubs start the season with Jason DuBois and Todd Hollandsworth splitting time in left field, remember that Carlos Beltran, JD Drew, Magglio Ordonez were all available as free agents. And finally, when Sammy Sosa comes out this year and bats .300 with 40 home runs and 100 RBIs, or bats .250 with 30 homeruns and 80 RBIs remember that we all wanted him out. Remember Cubs fans, we deserve the best because after 97 years of waiting for another title, and 60 years for another World Series appearance, remember that WE ARE THE BEST FANS IN THE WORLD! And if we wanted to, we can take care of Tribune Company in a very simple matter.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Congrats to Ryno on Making the Hall of Fame

Congrats to Ryne Sandberg, Hall of Fame 2nd Baseman. 3rd time was the charm. For someone who statistically is the greatest second baseman of all-time, it was 3 times too late. But Sandberg, you are very much deserving of this. You were dissed because you didn't get dirty. Why didn't Ryno get dirty? Because he didn't have to, he didn't have to dive for a ball that he was already in front of, just like they teach you when you first start to play the game of baseball. Thats like saying that Barry Sanders doesn't belong in the Hall of Fame because he didn't run north south. He couldn't run north south, he couldn't follow his blockers. Because no one blocked for him and would have led him right into defenders. And Ryno, you finally can stand above pompous jackass Joe Morgan who talks down to you like you were Ramon Martinez and talks down to Cubs fans as if they were Devil Rays fans, and tell him "I'm here, and there's nothing you can do about it." Congrats Ryno!
Others who should be in the Hall of Fame: Lee Smith (career saves leader), Bruce Sutter (top 10 saves leader, revolutionized the closer, invented the split-fingered fastball), Ron Santo (top 10 in most defensive and offesive categories for third baseman)

Monday, January 03, 2005

Survey of Crap

[[[PAST]]][1] First grade teacher's name: Don’t Remember[2] Last words you said: "I love this fuckin movie"[3] Last song you sang: "Lovers and Friends” Usher, Lil Jon, Ludacris[4] Last person you hugged: Mom[5] Last thing you laughed at: Scooby Doo[6] Last time you said I dont remember: this afternoon
[7] Last time you cried: new years eve...Graduation or Game 7 NLCS[8] What are you listening to right now: Lil Jon Crunk Juice[9] What colour socks are you wearing: white[10] What's under your bed: porn[11] What time did you wake up today: 9:30 am[12] Current taste: water[13] Current hair: brown[14] Current clothes: my highschool gym uni--pajamas[15] Current annoyance: dealing with my father[16] Current longing: to go back to school and see my friends[17] Current desktop picture: my college friends who crossdressed at halloween[18] Current worry: The Chicago Cubs 2005 Roster[19] Current hate: a few people[20] Current favorite article of clothing: my Cubs hats[21] Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex: face, im a sucka for a pretty face[22] Last CD that you listened to: Camron “Purple Haze”[23] Favorite place to be: Wrigley Field[24] Least favorite place: at home alone[25] Time you wake up in the morning: 10 am[26] If you could play an instrument, what would youplay: drums[27] Favorite color: Carolina Blue[28] Do you believe in an afterlife: yes[29] How tall are you: 5'9”[30] Current favorite word/saying: floor whore[31] Favorite book: When Will Jesus Bring the Porkchops?- George Carlin[32] Favorite season: Baseball season[33] One person from your past you wish you could goback and talk to: n/a[35] Where do you want to go: New York City[36] What is your career going to be like: the best damn writer (sports, anything) ever[37] How many kids do you want: 2[38] What kind of car will you have: Chevrolet anything[[[HAVE YOU EVER...]]][39] Said "I love you" and meant it: yes[40] Gotten in a fight with your dog/cat/bird/fish,etc: no, no pets[41] Been to New York: yes[42] Been to Florida: yes[43] Been to California: no[44] Been to Hawaii: no[45] Been to China: no[46] Been to Mexico: no[47] Been to Canada: no[48] Danced naked: yes, but I was drunk[49] Dreamed something really crazy and then ithappened the next day: Yes, it snowed and it cancelled school for the day[50] Wanted to be the opposite sex: Yes, and if I could, I’d be a whore[51] Had an imaginary friend: Yes, still do[[[RANDOM]]][52] Do you have a crush on someone: Yep, and I got it bad for her too[53] What book are you reading now?: When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? By George Carlin[54] Worst feeling in the world: Losing[55] What is the first thing you think when you wakein the morning?: I’m alive[56] How many rings before you answer: no rings, vibrations[57] Future daughter's name: Vanessa [58] Future son'sname: Carlos[59] Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: no[60] If you could have any job you wanted, what wouldit be: Manager of the Chicago Cubs[61] Wish you were here: Las Vegas[62] College plans: Freshman SIU Carbondale[63] Piercings: none[[[THE EXTRA STUFF]]][64] Do you do drugs: no[65] Do you smoke: no[66] Who are your best friends: Bob, Jameel, Tony[67] What kind of Shampoo and Conditioner do you use: Vive[68] What are you most scared of: death[69] What clothes do you sleep in: gym shorts[70] Who is the last person that called you: Hoos[71] Where do you want to get married: Wrigley Field or Las Vegas[72] If you could change anything about yourself whatwould that be: Be a better dancer cuz if I wanted I could lose weight, but you can’t teach Usher’s Dance Moves to a guy who usually has two left feet[73] Who do you really hate: Anyone currently associated with the St. Louis Cardinals Baseball Organization[74] Been In Love: UEs[75] Are You Timely Or Always Late: Timely[76] Do You Have A Job: kinda[77] Do You Like Being Around People: Yes, most of the time[78] Best feeling in the world: Happiness[79] Are you for world peace: Yes[80] Are you a health freak: no [81] Do You Have A "Type" Of Person You Always GoAfter: Yeah, the untouchable girl, but she usually just becomes my friend[82] Want Someone You Don't Have Right Now: Yes[83] Are You Lonely Right Now: yes[84] Ever Afraid You'll Never Get Married: Yes, sometimes I fear solitude[85] Do You Want To Get Married: yes[86] Do You Want Kids: yes

[[[IN THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU...]]][87] Cried: no[88] Bought Something: new headphones[89] Gotten Sick: no[90] Sang: Lovers and Friends by Lil Jon Usher and Ludacris[91] Said I Love You: yes to my mom[92] Wanted To Tell Someone You Loved them: Yes, to a certain girl[93] Met Someone New: no[94] Moved On: From the day before, yes[95] Talked to someone: yes[96] Had A Serious Talk: no[97] Missed Someone: yes[98] Hugged Someone: yes[99] Kissed Someone: no[100] Fought With Your Parents: kinda[101] Dreamed About Someone You Can't Be With: yes[102] Had a lot of sleep: No

Monday Morning Quarterback: The Final Week

Week 17 is now over and we conclude this season with the final Monday Morning Quarterback.
  • After a hot start, including a 4 play scoring drive that had a 63 yard pass to David Terrell, the Bears became themselves again. They quickly gave up 28 straight points, 2 touchdowns from Brett Favre and 1 from Craig Nall...WHO THE HELL IS CRAIG NALL? Well, it was a sucky season for the Bears. Everyone had hope, but I think the Bears fans need to start lowering their expectations so when the Bears don't meet them, they won't be suprised. The Bears have some pieces in place. A good quarterback when healthy, a running back that fits what is supposed to be their system and a hard hitting defense. Their problem is that they have no one to protect the quarterback, no one to stop the other team from tackling the running back and they don't have a big play receiver. The Bears have a lot of work to do, we'll see if they do it, or if they will sit on their hands pleased with the crap they currently have. No small tweaking this winter for the Bears, nope, they need major overhaul.
  • Now that the NFL season is over, the first matchups of the playoffs are lined up. It will be the NY Jets at the Chargers, the Colts hosting the Broncos and that is the AFC matchups. In the NFC it will be the Packers hosting the Cubs of Football (The Vikings) and the Seahawks will host the runners up in that division, the St Louis Rams. These are very simple matchups to break down. The Chargers will beat the Jets because the Chargers have a dominating running game and a passing attack that gets the ball downfield. In a rematch of last years first round game, the Colts will beat the Broncos again. Peyton Manning didn't play last week, and the Broncos played all out so the Colts know what to be looking for. Manning will have a big game against the Broncos, like he's had a big game against everyone else. In a battle of the moveable object versus the immovable force, the walking dead Seattle Seahawks will face the team coached by a walking rectum St. Louis Rams. I wish there could be a tie and both teams could be eliminated. The Seahawks are at home, so I'll give them a 24-17 win. The Packers at home against the Vikings for the third time is my upset special. The Vikings will look to shed my imposed label of theirs that calls them the Cubs of football. Vikings win 31-30 on a game winning field goal.
  • Let's take a look back on the NFL season. Rookie of the Year: Ben Roethlisberger was 13-0 as a rookie starter leading the Steelers to a 15-1 record. MVP was Peyton Manning, on this simple criteria. Could Jim Sorgi throw as many touchdowns as Manning threw interceptions? Without Manning, it is a totally different team. Best move: The Eagles getting T.O. If it wasn't for Manning, T.O. would be the MVP of the league. He had 14 touchdowns receptions, the rest of the receivers on the team 1. T.O.'s 14 touchdown receptions were as many or more than his old team the San Francisco 49ers. Biggest turnaround-the Atlanta Falcons. Due to one man, Michael Vick. Without Mike Vick, the Atlanta Falcons are possible the worst offense in football.
  • The 2nd round of the playoffs should be fun. Games hosted in snowy New England, frigid Pittsburgh in the AFC. The rabid Philly fans will be hungry for a Super Bowl, but won't be looking forward to playoff life without T.O. or another NFC Championship game. Hotlanta will be on fire when the Mike Vick show is in full effect.