Saturday, February 18, 2006
Speaking of college basketball, big game tomorrow evening when Louisiana Tech led by 6'8" stud forward Paul Millsap come to the SIU Arena to face the Salukis in another Bracket Buster Saturday. This guy's good, he's averaging a double-double and has led the country in rebounding for the last 2 years and is on his way to make it three. Randal Falker has been putting up big numbers recently from in the post so I'm hoping for big things. I hope the backcourt can step up because if not, we might be in some trouble in Saluki nation. Ooh, here's something special: ESPN (as of now) predicts 5 (count 'em bitch!) 1-2-3-4-5 teams in the big dance. Peep this: Southern Illinois, Wichita State, Creighton, Northern Iowa and Missouri State. Amazing!!!! I'm rooting for it to happen, I really am, CONFERENCE PRIDE WOOT! WOOT! I'll be at the Arena at 4, where will you be?
In Regards To Last Nights Post
First of all I'd like to point out that yes, I do go back and refer to last years events and my crush from last year. I'd like to clarify some things about that. I guess if I look at it closely I could draw comparisons for example being friends and not returning feelings. There's a difference, the only reason I went back to the well (so to say) was because A) I was intoxicated and B) our motivations are different. What I mean by "our motivations" is that me and my roomie, when we go after girls we're looking at two totally different ways we approach, attract and act. Though we both go off the basis of starting as friends. That my friends is where the similarities end. He's really been able to buy love because despite what he says he has money and the things he bought for his last girlfriend were proof positive that he did have the loot. He's sneaky though, I don't put it past him that he was looking at this girl that he's dating now while he was with the girl that is now his ex. I dunno, I think I made the comment before that I don't know how guys like him get a second chance (and after last night's events a third chance) and I can't even get a first chance. It kills me it's a dagger! So anyways, things seem to be all good now between them, he's over there now spending the night. But back to the 'In Regards to Last Nights Post' segment. So yeah that girl still exsists but he's denying things and blah blah and then from what I hear from my sources (as unreliable as they are) he might have said a half-truth and was not doing what he said he was doing. So in regards to last nights post: to hell with 'em all. That might be some of the best evidence I have on why I absolutely hate women. Now back to the regular show.
Back to the Show I Go
So I guess this is the closing of tonights blog. I'd like to close by saying tonight sucked. Tonight was another night that supports my case that this town sucks when you A) don't have a car and B) you aren't getting drunk. Also it's nights like tonight that I wish I was back in the big city. Worst case scenario, I would have spent tonight working. At least after work I'd be able to play pool for free and X Box and maybe hang with my friends. Speaking of my friends, yeah I hate people in relationships. I know I've said it more times than necessary but it's the truth. I hate it because being around them makes me feel like absolute shit. I feel like a useless piece of shit when I'm around couples, I just want to go jump somewhere. Sorry folks, there ain't much of a silver lining to take out of this one. Ahhhh!!!! I'm so frustrated. Another night where I wish I was home (though I'd probably be saying the same things because hey my best friends in the Chi are in relationships) so yeah put the boot to that theory! You know sometimes I wish I never would have gotten involved in that thing I mentioned above. I really, truely hate myself, I've just come to realize that. Boy, oh, BOY! I gotta change that A.S.A.P. I think that song by Ne-Yo is right on the money: I'm so sick of love songs, but why can't I turn off the radio. It's like an accident, you don't wanna look but you're so intruigued. That's how I feel about my life, you can't help but to turn in and see what happens next.
In Closing: It figure's I'd hit my rock bottom pointin the semester the week of Valentine's Day. Up yours St. Valentine you assbag!!!!
Thursday, February 16, 2006
So here's my concern. I guess I'll preface this by pulling this from an earlier blog from what seems like a long time ago. First I'd like to note that damn I was depressed 1st semester, some of that shit depresses me upon reading it again. Secondly it's the relationship that I mention in that month that is an issue right now. I'd also like to note that wow, I wrote a lot so I'm currently as I'm writing this searching for what I wanted to bring up unless I say fuck it and just describe it. Here's an interesting note from my post on December 1st 2005: "Oh my gosh I just thought about it, Valentine's Day, oh my gosh I don't wanna be anywhere around this place for Valentine's Day. I'm scared now, I really am. Knowing my roommates history, I'm gonna probably kill myself over Valentine's Day. " Wow, amazing, well it was pretty bad, but I'm still alive, GO ME!!! FUCK IT I QUIT, maybe I didn't post it. I do however remember distinctly having a conversation wit my boy Al at U of I-Chambana and my exact wording to him was "He doesn't deserve her." I'm echoing those sentiments tonight. Really sometimes when I hang with her, I just think (and I can't help but think about it) I think about what would have happened had I threw my name in the mix. Sure, most likely I would have gotten the "just a friend" treatment, but instead I held back because I figured I'd be ruining it for someone else on the floor. But the fact that I never did have an answer because I never asked it definetly makes me second guess myself and I absolutely hate second guessing myself. So yeah, I hate how it always seems like he's looking for someone better and he can't let go of the past. To keep it simple, there's a girl he had a thing for last year and nothing ever happened between them. She's a bit of a tease and really she gets his hopes up and yeah nothing will ever happen between them, she's the ultimate tease really. So yeah, he just pisses me off sometimes, he's the kind of guy I'll warn my daughter about if/when I have a child. I feel the worst for her, because like I told my roomie, my guy from U of I and her, she deserves the BEST and only THE BEST! She's been shafted by bad exes but really who hasn't but she really has been. Talk about one of the few genuine girls out there and she's dating my roommie. And sometimes its like he's cool and he can be the greatest boyfriend in the world, but a lot of the time he acts like a clown and just another typical guy. Unappreciative is a real good to describe him, at least in this relationship. So I'm concerned for that relationship, I really am, especially with the fact that I'm close to both of them. I hope for the best.
I'm out for now, I got a big test that I'll spend a half hour more studying.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
- Sugarcoated1436: how come you havent met any girls out there?
Sugarcoated1436: not one gf???
Sugarcoated1436: WHY I ASK!!!!
SIULou7186: its a long story
SIULou7186: every girl i like instantly becomes my friend and really wants no more out of it from me
SIULou7186: or every girl i like likes someone else, usually one of my friendsSugarcoated1436: im sorry luie
- SIULou7186: its honestly frustrating, especially this year
SIULou7186: i helped my roomie's gf outdo him for the day and yeah they got to exchange gifts and i got a few "sympathy cards" as i call them, and like his side of the room is decorated and all this shit and as much as i hate the day, i wish someone would do that for me
Sugarcoated1436: o luie, today muct have totally sucked for youSIULou7186: the highlight was when i went to the store and the cashier told me happy valentine's day in a deep southern accent
- Sugarcoated1436: itll be better next year
SIULou7186: you know i say that every year and sometimes i just think it gets worst
- Sugarcoated1436: you just havent found the right girl
Sugarcoated1436: did you ever try finding someone online
Sugarcoated1436: like in a chatroom or something
SIULou7186: kinda, i had a real bad experience with it
Sugarcoated1436: what happened
SIULou7186: she ended up being a total fraud of a person who didn't exsist who made up the lives of her and her friends
Sugarcoated1436: eww my god
SIULou7186: yeah that started the year off, yeah not the way u wanna start the year is it?
Sugarcoated1436: nope lol
SIULou7186: thats why i spent a lot of the first month pissed cuz yeah it was set up by hoos and i was really feeling good about it cuz like we talked online and she really liked my personality and said i was a hottie ((that was my first red flag)) yeah i was dooped
Sugarcoated1436: so was it a guy or soemthing?
SIULou7186: no it was a fugly ass girl who used her friends picture and life story
Sugarcoated1436: that sucks (Note that I referenced one of the most depressing and embarassing moments in my entire life!!!!)
- SIULou7186: yeah it totally does and of course valentine's day can't forget about last years debacle...sorry if this is bringing ya down i just got a lotta pent up BS in me (Can't put that in the past either, how can you, talk about a royal screw up...)
Here come some rants:
- SIULou7186: it kills me it pisses me off and it's like i've never been the jealous type but here i can't help but be jealous
- SIULou7186: u know what i hate the most
SIULou7186: i hate when girls say that they want a guy and they describe me to a tee and then they go for a guy who is COMPLETELY opposite of what they say that they want
SIULou7186: and u know what the best part is...I'M THE GUY WHO GETS TO HEAR ALL ABOUT IT
- SIULou7186: ahh it's like i have an excuse for all of em....funny ain't it
Sugarcoated1436: its ok luie
SIULou7186: it really isn't....there's no excuse for a college student to have never had a girlfriend
SIULou7186: i knew i shoulda gotten wasted today
- SIULou7186: then i talk to guys who cheat on girls and that have multiple girls and guys who have girls waiting for them to break up with their current girls and i have nothing, it really kinda sucks
In a part I'll leave out just because I can summarize it: we wnet through all of the "types" of girls that are "available" and seemingly I had an excuse for "why not?" Most of them had to do with previous rejections. I think the best one was the "slutty" girl one was my response that "slutty girls use me for my kindness." Actually I think the best part was when I busted out the 2003 cubs reference when I didn't care about girlfriends. So basically, my hope is a really good year for the Cubs to play the savior role in my life. Because it doesn't look like SIU, who lost tonight when a win would have put them in a 2-way tie for first , lost to Bradley and with two games left they're one game out and need to win the next two conference games and hope Wichita State loses one. Or if worse comes to worse...WIN THE CONFERENCE TOURNEY!!!! Tonight was just a lost night, in more ways than one.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Till then, I got things to do.