Monday, December 20, 2004

The Christmas List for Chicago Sports Fans

From the Desk of the Chicago Bears Fan base:
Dear Santa,
Thank you for granting our request, my friend, of a new coaching staff for DA BEARS! However, unlike Sears, you do not state a return policy for disfunctioning parts. One part in particular is our offensive coordinator. So, instead of going through the trouble of finding an entire new staff to put under the tree, Bears fans will ask for only a new offensive coordinator for Christmas. But, if you can fulfill that part of our Christmas list, maybe you can help him and us a little bit too. He is going to want some new toys to play with next year, just like us DA SUPERFANS! We would like a new wide receiver, with working hands and with legs that run faster than their mouth. A new offensive line to protect our favorite quarterback toy, we can't afford a new one, and hope that one won't break again. In addition, Santa, DA BEARS, would also like to wish you and Mrs. Claus a BEARY Christmas and a Happy Orange and Blue New Year.
With Love,

From the Desk of the Chicago White Sox Fan Base:
Dear Santa,
Every year Santa, we get screwed. It's not fair. Our brothers to the north always get what they want for Christmas. Why can't we. We've been good this year, we didn't jump on the field and attack anyone. In fact, it was dose stoopid Cub fans that shot one of our own. C'mon Santa, gimme a break! Last year, we got screwed out of a new Nomar, and where does he end up, with those brothers that get everything they want. This year we're getting screwed too. We, unlike some fans, aren't asking for the highest price players, but we're asking for good talent. We asked for a shortstop that could field a groundball and he ended up going to San Francisco. We asked for a pitcher that could get people out, and he ended up with Red, not White Sox. So all we ask for is this Santa, one win against the Cubs, because you know that anything else we ask for we will not get.
Thanks for nothing jerkbag,
The Other Sox Nation
From the Desk of the Fans of DA BULLS:
Dear Santa,
Our request is simple: Can you please turn back time and bring back a young and good Michael Jordan. All we need is one superstar. One that scores, plays defense and is a natural born leader.
Thank you Santa,
Da SuperBull Fans
From the Desk of the World's Greatest Fans, Fans of the Chicago Cubs:
Dear Santa,
Dude, what's up? Hey, I would just like to thank you for fulfilling some of our Christmas wishes last year. Especially those you gave to us early like that power-hitting gold-glove 1st baseman, that awesome catcher, a set-up man and a certain former Cy Young Award Winning Cub Pitcher (Greg Maddux). However, you didn't bring that championship we've been asking to get for now 97 years. So once again, please Santa, try your hardest to bring us a championship. We've been good this year. We kept our hands and feet inside the stands at all times this year. So, if you can't bring us the championship by yourself, can you at least bring us some toys that will help bring it to us. Like, a closer, one of those that works would actually be nice for a change. Do you make exchanges Santa. Because us Cub fans would like to exchange a certain future hall of fame whiner for one of our own. Sammy Sosa to New York in exchange for Chicago's own and Thornwood High's own Cliff Floyd. And then, under the tree, one 27 year old All-World outfielder named Carlos Beltran. Oh Santa, can you wrap him up and put him under our tree and not be bought by the Yankees or have him return to Houston. They don't even have snow in Houston, they can't celebrate Christmas in the right way. Please Santa, do that for us, and we promise not to beg for any more unreasonable gifts for a long time. Please don't make us wait another 97 years.
With Love,
Chicago Cubs Fans

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