Friday, November 04, 2005

A Loooong Day in Carbondale

Hey! Hey! How's everyone doing on this wonderful Friday morning? Not well, I'll be the first to tell you that. I'll start this off with positives and anxieties and things. My parents are coming, my parents are coming....TODAY! To spend the weekend with their favorite son in Carbondale, Illinois. I'm actually looking forward to seeing my parents. Think about it, they didn't come with me to school because they were in Hawaii. I spent little time with them when I went home for a weekend in September because I was with my friends. So, they come to visit on a weekend where Carbondale will offer its best (I hope!) No one is sure about what Friday night holds. I'd love to have some Quattro's Pizza, which is the best pizza in this hicktown. Saturday at 3 is SIU football versus Youngstown State in a match up in where the winner takes a major step forward in controlling their own destiny of the Gateway Confrence Championship. Saturday night is still up in the air as well. I'd love to go to Lonestar, or Steak and Shake for dinner then later go to the bars and after that eat at Jimmy John's, Don Taco, Wise Guy's or maybe even have a Winston's Bagel. Sunday we will see game 1 of the 2005-06 basketball season for the 4 time defending Missouri Valley Confrence Champions the Southern Illinois Salukis Men's Basketball team!!!! Ahh the memories of last year are still fresh in my head. I hold on to them because those were some of my best days here last semester. I remember Championship Saturday where we clinched the title on our home court against those pesky Wichita State Shockers. Or the Creighton game, which I was in the Dawg Pound without my roommate or any of my other friends in our nationally televised game in which we won. Or the second to last game in which I forget the opponent, but I don't forget the 21-0 run that sparked the team and sparked the crowd. That was the moment I felt we had something real special in Salukiville, it was one of those hair rasing experiences I will never forget. Ooh, the game against Murray State where the fans heckled Jennifer their star player forcing him into turnovers, bad shots, missed shots, all that good stuff. Oh, the memories. Shout out to departed seniors Darren Brooks, Stetson Hairston, Lamar Owen and Josh Warren. The new guys are here and they ain't bad themselves. Jamaal Tatum aka The Real Human Fast Break, Tony Young aka The Best One-on-One Defender in the confrence aka Mr. Blocked Shots, Randall Faulker is a stud inside and so is super-sophomore Matt Shaw who is one of the most underrated players in all of college basketball. I am very excited about basketball season, much more than football season, it's something about this hoops squad that I'm attatched to. It all started with that midnight win against Hawaii at the SIU Arena. I want a midnight game to come back so I can go wasted!!!!! But after the game I'd like to have dinner with the parents and send them off on a good note.
However, not all is joyous in Salukiville. As I wrote last night, my roomie's going through a lot of troubles, all of them stemming from his recent break up. I've been a really good friend lately to him because I'll never forget what he did for me last semester when I needed someone. I hope things get better for him sooner rather than later. He's a really good guy who, like me, gets used and abused by women, walked over and mistreated when guys like me and him are the good guys that girls always complain about because we supposedly don't exsist.
Which brings me to a topic that has been buzzing around in my head all afternoon and all night and into this morning as if it were a fly trapped in a closet. A friend and I were talking about how as guys we always talk about how we can never find a decent girl. And that all the decent girls are dating assholes. Therefore, logic tells us that to get the girl, turn yourself into an asshole. I'm a believer in all of that. Girls love assholes because they are a challange to change and it provides women with all the conflict and drama that they seem to need and thrive off of. Well guess what folks, I brought it up to the wrong woman. She gives us the other side of the coin, the girls that say that there are no decent guys out there because all the good guys are with sluts/whores or whatever you wanna call them. We got off into this converstation in which we both agreed we could have become what we didn't want to be very easily, but we decided not to because we were raised better than that. I could've easily become an asshole overnight. Why not? People already pigeon hole you into something you're not and you can't do anything to change that, no matter how hard you try, you'll always be another spic to a majority of people. Sad, but true. Well then the question was brought up to me by the girl: what do you want? I stopped and I thought about it for a second, opened my mouth and nothing came out. I've come to the realization that I don't know what I want. I've also come to grips with the fact that I am very superficial, and personally I hate that. Granted, women everywhere judge guys on appearance, experience, class and overall looks. I have none of that. The only thing I really judge on superficially is a pretty face and a decent body, she doesn't need to be Beyonce, Lindsay Lohan (when she wasn't a blonde toothpick), Anna Kournikova, or any Hollywood actress you can put on this line ________. But also, I'm the kind of guy where you can be the prettiest girl in the world, but if you have no personality or a bad personality you're no good to me. I hate drama girls, I hate superficial girls, I hate girls that need to be wined and dined every day for no reason. I HATE GOLD DIGGERS!!!!! But most of all, I hate girls that come up to ME and say that there are no good guys out there. Let me break you some news honey, I'm one of the best guys you will ever meet. I care than most guys my age do. I listen to girls when they speak and don't let my mind drift elsewhere. When I meet a girl, my first ideas aren't how to get in her pants, instead they are how to become this girls friend. Instead, I'm overlooked by the guy with the Hollywood style, the jock, the rich boy, or the assclown. I digress to finish my point. I don't know what I want. The girl I was talking to put it best: Do you want a decent girl or do you want a girl that will just give you sex? Because if you want the ladder then you can go find yourself a slut. LoL. We've tried that, it didn't work, I can't seem to bring myself down to that level of casual sex without attatchment. That's one of the reasons I'm still a virgin. There's a side of me that says I want a serious relationship with a girl that I share things in common with, that can hold a conversation, that can bring me up when I'm down, that can make me happy, something, someone that I can say hey that's mine (not in a controlling way, more like a 'That's the girl i've been telling you about/ isn't she everything I said and a whole lot more' kind of way. The other side of me says fuck that, go find some slut and get it over with. Go out and have random meaningless sex with a random girl. But I don't want to do that, but I won't necessarily reject it if it comes my way either. I wish I had an answer. I'll probably be going to bed mulling that over as I try to figure out what's going on. And on that note, good night from Salukiville folks! I miss this blogging shit!

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