In The Interest Of Time

I'll keep this relatively short. I will do so by using bits of an earlier on-line conversation. So here's the gist of it: Valentine's Day sucked! Today was wasted, I should have honestly stuck with my original game plan and gotten wasted beyond belief because there was no feeling worst than how I felt today. Honestly, it was a waste, I would have been happier being belligerent and in my own world than attempt to save face with others who were happy. Never again will I go into this day optimistic, just because I know something bad is going to happen. It's like that formal dance that people will be going to on April 1st. That's right APRIL FOOLS DAY! Sure they are wanting me to go with them, but I'm refusing, in fact I've been refusing. Why? Because it is set up for failure. You couldn't write a better script for a depressing end. Sure there's a script out there that has me putting the failed formals behind me, but that's as likely as a hot summer in Antartica. The "April Fools" jokes on me are potentially plentiful when my date rejects me, dumps me, uses me to get close to a friend, gives me false hope....and the beat goes on. Heck, I encourage readers to write their own script and let's see what ya got out there. So, let's see....what else. Oh yeah today sucked. And you know what else I knew that this day was gonna suck and I still let it suck, I couldn't avoid it. You know I sacrificed my alcoholism for the greater good. That's how I justified it in my head "the greater good." What the fuck was I thinking about, communist fucking russia? Wow, I haven't wasted a day this bad ever, there's not even a funny quip for that. I hate Valentine's Day. And to think, the day started relatively well. I felt good for my roommate who had the Valentine's Day he deserved after he put it all on the line to be just friends. I felt good for his girlfriend who before tonight joined me in the "I Got Screwed On Valentine's Day Club." She did an outstanding job decorating the room while we were sleeping and it looked good. How about the girl at the store that wished me happy valentine's day in her southern accent, that was worth something. Then there was the card that I got from my "wife." It's a long story, that's beyond this story I'll get into later in the post. All I know is as the day went on, I got into old habits, it was like the whole the night brings the worst out of me came back. Yeah, it was like I was reminded "Hey Lu, guess what, another Valentine's Day...ALONE." I think the straw that broke the camels back was playing Catchphrase. As fun as that game can be, it's frustrating and I'm easily frustrated. I always end up quitting and yelling at people. Well anyways we had a word that came up tonight that came up last time we played and I used the same clues and I even referenced that we talk about it all the time...and he still didn't get it. I guess I'm not worthy of anyone's attention. If there is anything I hate, I hate being optimistic and being let down. And to think, my away message all day was: "You know it'd be easy to sit here and write a quick quip on how valentine's day sucks for singles like me, but I won't...happy valentine's day to those who celebrate, happy single's awareness/appreciation day to those who don't." I'll never make that mistake again. Happy Belated Single's Awareness/Appreciation Day. And now, the highlights of tonights conversation:

• Sugarcoated1436: how come you havent met any girls out there?
  Sugarcoated1436: not one gf???
  Sugarcoated1436: WHY I ASK!!!!
  SIULou7186: its a long story
  Sugarcoated1436: ok
  SIULou7186: every girl i like instantly becomes my friend and really wants no more out of it from me
  SIULou7186: or every girl i like likes someone else, usually one of my friendsSugarcoated1436: im sorry luie
• SIULou7186: its honestly frustrating, especially this year
  Sugarcoated1436: y?
  SIULou7186: i helped my roomie's gf outdo him for the day and yeah they got to exchange gifts and i got a few "sympathy cards" as i call them, and like his side of the room is decorated and all this shit and as much as i hate the day, i wish someone would do that for me
  Sugarcoated1436: o luie, today muct have totally sucked for youSIULou7186: the highlight was when i went to the store and the cashier told me happy valentine's day in a deep southern accent
• Sugarcoated1436: itll be better next year
  SIULou7186: you know i say that every year and sometimes i just think it gets worst
• Sugarcoated1436: you just havent found the right girl
  Sugarcoated1436: did you ever try finding someone online
  Sugarcoated1436: like in a chatroom or something
  Sugarcoated1436: ?
  SIULou7186: kinda, i had a real bad experience with it
  Sugarcoated1436: what happened
  Sugarcoated1436: ?
  SIULou7186: she ended up being a total fraud of a person who didn't exsist who made up the lives of her and her friends
  Sugarcoated1436: eww my god
  SIULou7186: yeah that started the year off, yeah not the way u wanna start the year is it?
  Sugarcoated1436: nope lol
  SIULou7186: thats why i spent a lot of the first month pissed cuz yeah it was set up by hoos and i was really feeling good about it cuz like we talked online and she really liked my personality and said i was a hottie ((that was my first red flag)) yeah i was dooped
  Sugarcoated1436: so was it a guy or soemthing?
  SIULou7186: no it was a fugly ass girl who used her friends picture and life story
  Sugarcoated1436: lol
  Sugarcoated1436: that sucks (Note that I referenced one of the most depressing and embarassing moments in my entire life!!!!)
• SIULou7186: yeah it totally does and of course valentine's day can't forget about last years debacle...sorry if this is bringing ya down i just got a lotta pent up BS in me (Can't put that in the past either, how can you, talk about a royal screw up...)

Here come some rants:

• SIULou7186: it kills me it pisses me off and it's like i've never been the jealous type but here i can't help but be jealous
• SIULou7186: u know what i hate the most
  Sugarcoated1436: what?
  SIULou7186: i hate when girls say that they want a guy and they describe me to a tee and then they go for a guy who is COMPLETELY opposite of what they say that they want
  SIULou7186: and u know what the best part is...I'M THE GUY WHO GETS TO HEAR ALL ABOUT IT
• SIULou7186: ahh it's like i have an excuse for all of em....funny ain't it
  Sugarcoated1436: lol
  Sugarcoated1436: its ok luie
  SIULou7186: it really isn't....there's no excuse for a college student to have never had a girlfriend
  SIULou7186: i knew i shoulda gotten wasted today
• SIULou7186: then i talk to guys who cheat on girls and that have multiple girls and guys who have girls waiting for them to break up with their current girls and i have nothing, it really kinda sucks

In a part I'll leave out just because I can summarize it: we wnet through all of the "types" of girls that are "available" and seemingly I had an excuse for "why not?" Most of them had to do with previous rejections. I think the best one was the "slutty" girl one was my response that "slutty girls use me for my kindness." Actually I think the best part was when I busted out the 2003 cubs reference when I didn't care about girlfriends. So basically, my hope is a really good year for the Cubs to play the savior role in my life. Because it doesn't look like SIU, who lost tonight when a win would have put them in a 2-way tie for first , lost to Bradley and with two games left they're one game out and need to win the next two conference games and hope Wichita State loses one. Or if worse comes to worse...WIN THE CONFERENCE TOURNEY!!!! Tonight was just a lost night, in more ways than one.