Tuesday, August 08, 2006

So THAT Was My First Post Back & This Is My Second

I didn't realize that was my first post back on this blog. It's been a while. Blogger has missed out on so much. Not really, just a lot of the normal put under a microscope and blown out of proportion times 100. If you're interested in ANYTHING that has happened to me since I've been gone from blogger check my MySpace account @ www.myspace.com/luis7186. But that's only if you care, if I were you I really wouldn't bother because really I don't want to think about a majority of those blogs.
Moving on, I'll be leaving to Carbondale very soon, Friday in fact. I'm excited because the future looks bright. I know I say that a lot, but for some reason I actually believe that things might be different this year. I know I say that a lot, but why not have faith? Because I've failed every other time, you say. Well I say 'Boo' to you! I'm trying to make things right in my life, and school will be the beginning. I'm sure when Lu gets back to normal academically everything will fall into place. Once again, I'm operating under the theory that if everything DOESN'T fall into place (which normally things don't because nothing's perfect) at least I have my geniusness to fall back on.
It's usually around this time of the year where I start trying to make goals for this school year. Things I'll be shooting for, things I went to do and achieve. This year, I'm gonna say no to that because like my New Year's Resolutions they'll matter for a few weeks, maybe at the most a month, but then my attempts fade and I go back to not caring. So I'm not going to make extravagant goals or have lofty expectations. First of all keep your expectations low so when things don't happen you don't have too far to fall. Seriously though no big exepectations and no high hopes. Nothing specific, that's usually when I get burned. I was looking at my most recent Resolutions and I just shook my head because I haven't attained any of them. In fact it's quite possible that I might have regressed. To be blunt, I have regressed and it's disappointing because I try and I fail and when I fail I get down on myself because all I want to do is succeed. Sometimes I feel as if there's a lot of pressure to succeed, especially in this society where everyone's got a cut throat out look at things. If I'm not feeling the pressure from the outside, I'm putting it on myself.
*FOCUS* Back to the point of this blog. I'm not gonna make this laundry list of things I want to do because in the back of my mind there are a slew of things I want to get done before this semester is through. But instead of specifics, I'm thinking in generalities for now. Focus will be my number one issue. Priortize, I need to keep my priorities straight. Put myself in positive situations. Things like that. Little things can go a long way, that's what I think.
I could have easily written about how much I want a girlfriend or the need to get laid so I won't be the reincarnation of the 40 Year Old Virgin. Or how I want to make enough money to buy a car and the necessary insurance by the time second semester rolls around. Or how I want A, B & C to happen. Instead I've decided to simplify! SIMPLIFY! SIMPLIFY! SIMPLIFY! Make things easier, keeping the pressure off. Let's not have the self defeatist attitudes. Let's not have those late nights full of depression. Let's give myself a chance and not eliminate myself from contention instead of saying since it's never happened before it's not going to happen now.
As the saying goes, anything will happen that can. I'm assuming the bad is behind me, so now the good must be on it's way.

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