Tuesday, January 10, 2006

A Look Back, A Look Forward: I'm Just Lookin, Thanks For Askin

Well folks I was bored and tired and decided to take a look back at some things from last years blog. Specifically, I took a look at my new years resolutions. I wanted to see if I succeeded in them. Here are the answers:

Do Better at School: Yes and No! Second semester freshman year was great: an A in poetry, a B in english, a C in world civilization, a C in health and a B in american history. This semester an A in english, a D in philosophy, and i failed math and geology. Hopefully both semesters in 06 are friendly to me.
Be a Better Person: INCOMPLETE. Upon further review, I remained as friendly and as kind as ever, but I am still easily upset and was easily put into a tailspin with several strings of bad luck. I look to improve on that this year
Get a job at school: No! I failed and failed miserably, hoping for a job but honestly I don't mind not working at school. I'm under enough stress, I really don't need anymore that comes with a jobA more personal goal of mine is to get a job at school.
I Want to Forgive and Forget: Another incomplete. I have forgiven the wrongs that have been done, but I can't forget. Why should I, because everything and everyone that have let me down only makes me stronger. You should always remember your past but don't let it affect the future.
And finally, the goal of every college male that hasn't gotten any is simple. Go out and get laid: I guess if you don't read this blog (and honestly I don't know who does) I didn't accomplish this goal. In fact I'm still girlfriendless. I've gone through several changes of hearts since the new year's post of 2005. I've gone through a few crushes, a mini-bout with depression, I've seen relationships blossom and flop in front of my face, I've seen friends go through the ups and downs and I've taken it all in. I went through a phase in which I didn't know where I want, followed by a reassuring of what I wanted, and then I questioned myself. I've seen the crushes I've had go by the wayside and move on and away from me, making me question myself, doubt myself and basically dig my own ditch. Getting laid, isn't necessarily the least of my concerns, because honestly I'm sick of being the joke, I'm sick of the stupidity and I'm sick and tired of taking it from my friends. But lets face it, you gotta crawl before you walk. Let's work on a girlfriend first.


With all of that said in the past, I guess you have to move on because the future just might move on without you. With all that said here are my "New Year's Resolutions":
  • Happiness is key: not just happiness, but pure happiness and happiness with my self. I need to live life in a way where I am my first priority. I want to make myself happy before I make anyone else happy. For years I've been putting everyone elses needs in front of my own. I hope that ends this year.
  • Not everything revolves around sports: this will be the hardest most unattainable goal. Sure sports is my escape and my happy spot. My highlight of last semester was the SIU confrence championship. Wrigley Field is commonly referred to as home, or my Graceland. But I can't let my life revolve itself around that. I have to expand my horizons to find several happy spaces, to find several escapes. Maybe that will help me be happy.
  • Better grades: is a given looking at last semesters grades. I resolved to do this last year and it lasted for only one semester. Let's see if we can put to consecutive good semesters together
  • Get a car: I need a car, because mom's not gonna let me use the impala year round and that means I'll lose my big money job at Gage Park HS over the summer. I'll be on the car hunt this spring to be able to drive to work starting in July.
  • Be more out going: by that I mean I want to go out there and meet people (especially girls, specifically, pretty girls) so I can make friends, and take friendships and evolve them somehow into relationships. I'm gonna be more open to people.
  • Less depression: this will be hard, possibly the hardest, especially knowing my past and how it usually comes back to haunt me at the worst times. When it comes to this resolution I promise to be good on Valentine's day. I'll be drunk, but I won't be stupid or desperate.
  • Live life to the fullest: I was reminded of my mortality several times last year. From the sudden deaths of Roy's brother and sister, mom's co-worker, my friend Mike's mom, and seperate car accidents involving my best friend and one involving me (seperated by a week) you can't take this life for granted becasue you only get one (as far as i know.) And then I think about the tsunami, the earthquake and Katrina and I think to myself 'I better take advantage of what I have in front of me, because you never know when it will be all gone.'

Good night and a pleasant tomorrow!

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