Monday, December 27, 2004

Week 15 Monday Morning Quarterback

As the playoff picture gets clearer, as it should, it is the second to last week of the football season, here are some thoughts that will bridge the gap between now and next Monday.
  • I would personally like to congradulate the Chicago Bears offense on the major event of scoring an offensive touchdown for the first time since the Clinton Administration. Seriously, good job guys, only 10 quarters between touchdowns. You went two games and a half without scoring jack. Be proud. And then you had a revelation, score two offensive touchdowns in one half. But that was taken away because "The ball moved after he hit the ground." I have honestly never seen a game taken away by an official. I have seen umpires miss calls and change momentum. I have seen referees in basketball make a controversial foul call that sends a superstar to the bench, once again changing momentum. But I have never seen in a football game, a referee take away a clear touchdown that would actually put another team in the lead. We wouldn't be talking about this had the Bears woken from hibernation earlier. Oh well, still, I have only seen one Bears win against the 49ers this year. At least, please beat Green Bay. Hell, knock out Favre. Knock him, out. I want late hits, roughing the QB. We won't likely win the game, but at least we'll knock everyone out.
  • Congradulations Peyton Manning, you now have the single-season touchdown record. 49 in a year. Now Peyton, you have made all of us who are fantasy owners of yours very happy. Also, you have made owners of Harrison-Wayne-and-Stokely very happy. Thank you Peyton, now on to the playoffs you go. Now, do what I predicted and take your team to win a championship.
  • Next week will decide the final playoff spot in the NFC. And unlike the AFC, the NFC spot will be decided head to head when the New Orleans Saints will face the defending NFC Champs Carolina Panthers. The Panthers will look to come back from a 1-7 start to make the playoffs. If they do, they will be feared because of their still stout defense and a hot offense. Think of the infamous offensive connections in recent football history: Montana-to-Rice, Aikman-to-Irvin, Manning-to-Harrison. How does Delhomme-to-Muhammad work for you? Works good for them. Now lets look on the other side of the field where you have the Saints. Sometimes they play like the Saints, and sometimes they are the Aint's. It varies weekly. One week, they are unstoppable. The next week they can't get out of their own way. Which team will show up, watch the NFC on Fox to find out.
  • The AFC's last spot is up for grabs too. The Bills/Jags/Ravens/Broncos are several teams looking for that final spot. The Jags lost QB Byron Leftwhich and lost to the Houston Texans. The Ravens have no offense and their defense was last seen in one of two places. Madden NFL 2005 or on the side of a milk carton, cuz they are Missing In Action. Hey Ray Lewis, now do you believe in the Madden Jinx? Let's recap the Madden jinx shall we? Madden 2001-Eddie George on the cover and the Titans lose their first home playoff game ever. Madden 2002-Daunte Culpepper after an MVP-like year has the worst year of his career with a 78 QB rating. Madden 2003- Marshall Faulk has an injury plagued season. Madden 2004- Michael Vick, only one day after the game was released in stores, in a preseason game, Michael Vick breaks his leg, out for a majority of the year. Madden 2005- Ray Lewis, his team after being a favorite to win the SuperBowl is on the verge of not even making the playoffs. So, to recap in full. Since being on the cover, George has been released, signed to the Cowboys and benched for a rookie. Culpepper hasn't made the playoffs since, and his team has been football's Chicago Cubs. Marshall Faulk has been fighting injuries since being Madden's Cover-Boy. Michael Vick is having an excellent year, just signed a 10-year contract extension worth $130 million. I guess jinxes are made to be broken. Well, some are at least. Oh yeah, the cover of NFL 2K5, Terrell Owens, two weeks ago, breaks his leg. My advice: Don't be on the cover of any video games.

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