Thursday, January 06, 2005

Please Carlos, Don't Go to Queens and Don't Stay In Houston

Carlos Beltran, please don't do us like that. Don't be another free agent to leave us in the rear view mirror. Please come to Chicago. Don't go to the Mets. If you go 3-4 with 3 HRs and 9 RBIs, by not hitting the 4th HR, they'll boo you and throw batteries at you. Don't go to the Yankees. There is so much pressure following Bernie, DiMaggio, Mantle, Maris, Ruth. If you don't win every game, you are on the trade block after every loss. Don't stay in Houston. First of all, leaving Houston will help your offensive numbers. You don't hit well in domes, which Houston's ballpark is. Then this piece of advice is for your health. Do you really wanna play center field in Houston. 480 feet to straight away center field. Then you have to go up a hill and pray that you don't hit that silly flag pole in the middle of the hill. That is an injury waiting to happen. Tearing your knee up running up the hill. Tripping at the foot of the hill and falling face first breaking your jaw. Running into that pole shoulder first seperating your shoulder and you're out for months. The only threat in Wrigley is the brick wall. Which shouldn't worry you, cause Prior and Woody will be striking guys out. Zambrano will be throwing ground balls and Maddux will be making players pop out to the first baseman. And look at your offensive numbers at Wrigley. You are batting .513! Come on Carlos, you want big time celebrity without big time pressure, come out to Wrigley and be an icon without the pressure of battery wielding fans in Queens, shotgun toting fans in Houston, and an owner that will trade you for sawdust if you go 0-for-4 after a 60 game hitting streak. So please Carlos, I plead you, don't go anywhere that isn't the Addison and Clark!

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