Friday, March 04, 2005

I'm Losing My Mind

Oh my god, I feel everything falling away from me. It's been a downward spiral since Valentine's Day. God, I'm just so tired. In all honesty Spring Break can't come soon enough for me. I'm starting to learn alotta crap about myself, that's also contributing to the fact that I'm going nuts. There's so much stress in me, but no way to relieve it. One way I'm gonna do so is by getting completely hammered for the last time before spring break. Then, while I'm out, maybe I'll get some. I feel like such a high schooler writing this. I hoestly feel like the portrayed character of Jason Biggs in American Pie I on going to college a virgin: "They probably have special dorms for people like us." Well, they don't, but it sure as hell feels like it. It's one of those isolated type feelings. Okay, so next topic: the girl. That's another reason to go home, I need to get away from her. There are no hard feelings between us, at all. However there are awkward silences, dirty looks, and all of a sudden i get the bad feeling around her and I've become a smart ass around her. GOD I WISH FOR ONCE that me and a girl would think on the same level. Why can't I be anyone's type. It's not fair. In a world of women who are all about speed dating, random play, "open" relationships and bullshit like that...I CAN'T GET ANY! There's gotta be something wrong with me, obviously. Cuz honestly I'm going nuts over something (or in this case someone) I can't control. So, yeah, if i don't come home with some random piece of ass (which i kinda hope I don't, cuz I actually want a relationship, something steady), I'm gonna make one last play for her. This time, I'll be a little more specific (and hopefully coherent) than "I really, really, really, really like you" and "You're the best person I've met down here." Wow, I'm a wreck, so yeah, when it comes to that whole deal, the break will do me well. Another thing that's bothering me is my newfound dirty secret. I have a thing for southern girls. That kinda relates to what I have above, but that kinda relates cuz I do have a thing for country girls (girls not in The City or surrounding suburbs). It's crazy, cuz like my friend Steve, he's from the south and all the girls he knows are hot and I just love the whole southern belle idea and that whole accent deal, GOD THATS SO SEXY! I feel so bad, cuz i'm the puerto rican city boy. I'm all about the city, but when it comes to women, I love them gals. Oh yeah, and that leads me to facebook. It has me addicted, I'm possesed by facebook. I spent more time doing that than watching tv, homework and class combined. YIKES! It has me goin nuts, thats where I ssee all these hot country gals that are making me go nuts. I need some city lovin, real bad. Well, I don't know what else to say. 8 days til spring break, 32 days til opening day, and its been 18 years and counting of solitude. I'm like diddy...I need a girl! Good night and have a happy tomorrow!

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