A Post of Concern

So yeah, I'd like to start this off by saying notice the changes. *waits for oohs and aahs* Alright now that we got out of the way, take note of the links, they are actual links to things that are interesting. For example my link to my Cubs-dedicated blog: http://mydamncubbies.blogspot.com. Cub fans and actually, baseball fans will enjoy reading it. I also made some changes to that blog too, so yeah I hope folks enjoy it.

So here's my concern. I guess I'll preface this by pulling this from an earlier blog from what seems like a long time ago. First I'd like to note that damn I was depressed 1st semester, some of that shit depresses me upon reading it again. Secondly it's the relationship that I mention in that month that is an issue right now. I'd also like to note that wow, I wrote a lot so I'm currently as I'm writing this searching for what I wanted to bring up unless I say fuck it and just describe it. Here's an interesting note from my post on December 1st 2005: "Oh my gosh I just thought about it, Valentine's Day, oh my gosh I don't wanna be anywhere around this place for Valentine's Day. I'm scared now, I really am. Knowing my roommates history, I'm gonna probably kill myself over Valentine's Day. " Wow, amazing, well it was pretty bad, but I'm still alive, GO ME!!! FUCK IT I QUIT, maybe I didn't post it. I do however remember distinctly having a conversation wit my boy Al at U of I-Chambana and my exact wording to him was "He doesn't deserve her." I'm echoing those sentiments tonight. Really sometimes when I hang with her, I just think (and I can't help but think about it) I think about what would have happened had I threw my name in the mix. Sure, most likely I would have gotten the "just a friend" treatment, but instead I held back because I figured I'd be ruining it for someone else on the floor. But the fact that I never did have an answer because I never asked it definetly makes me second guess myself and I absolutely hate second guessing myself. So yeah, I hate how it always seems like he's looking for someone better and he can't let go of the past. To keep it simple, there's a girl he had a thing for last year and nothing ever happened between them. She's a bit of a tease and really she gets his hopes up and yeah nothing will ever happen between them, she's the ultimate tease really. So yeah, he just pisses me off sometimes, he's the kind of guy I'll warn my daughter about if/when I have a child. I feel the worst for her, because like I told my roomie, my guy from U of I and her, she deserves the BEST and only THE BEST! She's been shafted by bad exes but really who hasn't but she really has been. Talk about one of the few genuine girls out there and she's dating my roommie. And sometimes its like he's cool and he can be the greatest boyfriend in the world, but a lot of the time he acts like a clown and just another typical guy. Unappreciative is a real good to describe him, at least in this relationship. So I'm concerned for that relationship, I really am, especially with the fact that I'm close to both of them. I hope for the best.
I'm out for now, I got a big test that I'll spend a half hour more studying.