Lu's Mini-Confessional Blog

Well folks, today marked a new beginning in my collegiate life. Granted, it won't be official until Monday night when I go to my Forms of Poetry class @ 4:00 'til 6:30 PM. But as of now, I've gone to four of my five classes (Forms of Poetry being the fifth class) really have no complaints about any of my classes. Though it's tough to have complaints about classes during the first week, because for the most part the first week is an introductory period. If there's any class I should be worried about it's my Ethnicity and Nationalism class because of its heavy grading based on quizzes, tests and attendance. My Media in Society class is like that as well, and I didn't fare to well the first time I took MCMA 201 my freshman year, but I was a different person then. Now, I feel as if I'm ready for that class. Same for my Psycology 102 class, I think I'm ready for that type of class, and I have friends that excel in those classes and in that field, so I have good help around me. As for my Journalism 310 class, I love it. I have an ability to write, that's undeniable. However, my writing is comparable to a raw talent stewing in the minor leagues, in need of some fine tuning to maximize potential.

As I sit here tonight I've taken the first step to a successful semester, by setting aside an hour to go over the day's assignments. I know, an hour doesn't seem like much, but all I needed to do was read a chapter for each class I have tomorrow, so I'm pretty well off there. But for the first time since my freshman year I did what I set out to do. I set aside time to do school work with no distractions. I was away from my cellphone (which was silenced), my computer, Super Nintendo and anything else that would randomly distract me in my room. I sat in the area with the best lighting (that would be the living room) with the TV off and the radio off as well and I sat down on the couch and methodically read my assignments page by page. It was quite refreshing to be honest. I hope to carry this on for the rest of the semester. I know I can do it, because I've done it before.

Here's where the "confessional" part comes in. I'll admit that for the last year-and-a-half, if not two years, I've been distracted. I've been doing all the wrong things, and that is what has put me in this hole I currently find myself. And I'm talking the academic hole, as well as the social hole. I let my personal life affect my school life, something I've never let happen before and that really set me back mentally. It made me doubt my abilities, my purpose in life, all of that was in question. Never in my life had I questioned my decisions because even if they didn't work out I had a mentality in which I either A) Shook it off and told myself "Hey, at least I tried" or B) That was my own decision, I'll live with the repercussions of my decisions. Not so much the last two years. I've questioned myself, my friends, my intentions...everything. And for what....a lot of added stress that sent me nowhere, fast. So now I'm back to square one, or as close as I can get, to square one as I possibly can being this far into the game. I started off strong here at SIU and my job is to finish strong.

And to close this blog, I'll be honest with you. I see distractions forthcoming in the future. Why? Because they always find their way to you. In life, there is no smooth road. There is no easy path. Nothing is easy. That's why I'm now taking the path of every day, grind it out and see what happens.

That's all for tonight. I hope you enjoyed tonight's version of Lu's Confessional. I hope to bring happier blogs in the near future!