Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Carbondale Boredom

Yeah, so I'm back in The 'Dale and really I have no interest in being here. Okay, that's a damn lie, but I'm feeling quite puzzled right now. It's that whole "I'm in Carbondale, but I'm not in school" type of thing that's probably bothering me the most. It's not the same yet, and most of it has to do with Steve not being here and I haven't been out drinking yet. So that will change Friday night, hopefully with guys night out.

I know in a previous blog that I said that I'd write about the things I look forward to this coming year, but I've done that already in a previous blog so why re-hash a blog that's already been done? Though I also mentioned that I'd reveal my New Year's Resolutions.

First, I hate the word "resolution" because in my eyes, resolutions are made to be broken. And seriously, who keeps their New Year's Resolution. Nobody, that's who! Instead of resolutions, I've come up with some things I'd like to do, some goals...instead of resolutions b/c like I said, resolutions are just made to be broken.

For example I'd like to do better in all of my classes. Yes, I got two A's on my report card but as nice as they were, those grades were overshadowed by the F in Econ and the D in Physics. Disappointing indeed. I'm going to resort to studying/reviewing after each and every day of classes in an attempt to stay on task and focused on classes! I'm aiming for nothing lower than a B in each of my classes, hopefully I'm not asking too much of myself. Next, I'd like to lose some weight. I know, it's so cliche but I must say it. I was doing well in the beginning of the semester but then stress took its toll on me. It's not only clinically proven, but I've proven it for myself that when people are stressed they eat more. I admit I fall in that category, and on top of that I cook more too, my roommates can vouch for that. I remember one week of hell where everything just sucked I cooked a cheesecake, a pan of brownies, fried chicken, pork chops, pasta, mashed potatoes and cookies. Cooking's a stress reliever, and that's probably not a good thing. I'm trying to cut out a lot of the soda pop that I drink and instead am drinking more water, because it's healthier. I'm also going to try not to eat past 8 or 9 o'clock because that's when metabolism slows down. Another thing I'd like to do is become more sociable. Not like I'm not sociable, but I dunno, there were several times last semester where I just wish I had never left my room, or got on the phone, or got on the computer, or left the apartment for that matter. Hopefully I can make some new friends this semester, and hopefully they won't up-and-disappear again! Finally, in the words of John Mayer "I'm Gonna Find Another You." I know, sounds like everyone's New Year's Resolution and some of the past statements I've made on this very blog. The point of this however is different. I'm here acknowledging I've absolutely screwed the pooch! I've choked! I've blown too many really good opportunities, to the point where I sometimes sit and wonder if I've blown my chance for "true love." I put "true love" in quotes because I'm bitter and have my doubts about love as a whole. But if you listen to John Mayer's I'm Gonna Find Another You, you'll know where I'm coming from with this whole resolution/goal thingy. I just want to be happy, and seeing some of the things that have happened around me recently (I'll keep the things farther in the past in the past b/c things have really come into focus recently) and I think about where I've fucked things up, where I've failed myself and things like that....and the fact that those things irritate me, pisses me the fuck off!

Notable things I want to do in 2007:
  • Go to as many Cubs games as possible. Of course that takes precedent, especially if they're good! I want to be there Opening Day, and as much as possible. I love Wrigley Field, it's like my second home and one of my happy places. I can't wait to go when I'm 21 (and pay $6 for a beer.)
  • Find a date for the JT concert. I'll have more on this whole thing in a blog to be posted later. It's either that or go with my mom. Not like that's a bad thing, but if I can't find a date for a JT concert, I wonder if I can find a date period.
  • Write more poetry. I'm disappointed in myself because I wrote 2 poems on the train on my way to Chicago and none since that day (more than three weeks ago.) It's not like I don't have ideas (I do), I just don't feel motivated right now, that's all.
  • The Vegas Trifecta. There's a motto for my b-day weekend in Las Vegas, when I turn 21, and it's quite simple. "Get drunk, get laid, get no particular order." Need I say more? It's one of the things I can't wait to do when I go out there. Once again, the whole Vegas thing deserves a post in itself.
Well, that's it for now folks. Now it's time to fool around with I-Tunes and see what kinda music I got here to work with!

P.S. I got blogs in the making. I got some new segments that I'll be dropping and then explaining. Should be fun!

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