Friday, February 25, 2005

A Weekend of Potential

The weekend begins now. Thursday is the new Friday. I'm not going to any classes tomorrow so I can get Cubs tickets. I need Cubs tickets, I need em bad. I honestly only wanna go to two games, Opening Day and the sunday night game against the Red Sox. Would I like to see Cubs vs. Sox, of course. Do I want to see Cubs-Cards before I leave for Carbondale...HELL YEAH! Do I wanna give Alooouuu my final send off and Barry a true Chicagoans heckle...OH YES! But I'll settle. I find myself settling for lotsa things. I won't go into those. The whirlwhind weekend actually began today as I spent my whole day writing a paper in which I mostly B.S.'d it anyways. Then my quasi-roommate will officially become my roommate tomorrow as soon as I sign paper work. Yes, no more $50 a month, and just in time, I'm running out of the scholarship money I've been living off since last semester. This will only be the third and fourth times I go out this weekend when my boy from the U of I comes down along with a former SIU student and her friends. I can't wait til spring break. I need to see some real girls, cuz the girls down here, sorry, they suck. My friend managed to convince my sister that there were quality girls down here, without putting a gun to her head. Any quality girls here are taken or are currently whoring themselves around (but obviously not around me). Thats why I need to go home. My female situation up north was better in the beginning of the year, now, its resembles my love life at SIU, its in fucking shambles. More blown oopportunities than a White Sox closer. More broken ties than Sammy has with the Cubs. More fumbles than Rashaan Salaam. I've just fucked myself when it comes to girls. I've now become everything I've hated. I've fallen into the friendzone, well, not really fallen, I took a drunken dive and you know how much alcohol and bodies of water mix. Friendship is good and all, don't get me wrong, but sometimes, I honestly want more in life than being friend to the world. I'm tired of looking for girls at the Pit. Honestly, I can see myself explaining to my son or daughter that I met mommy in a place called the Pit. And they'll ask "Daddy, what's the Pit." And one day they'd learn that the Pit was a shit-hole of a place in which STDs ran rampant, smoke filled the air and hell, the scent that stayed in your clothes ended up with its own nickname among the regulars as "essence of pit." Which consisted of cigarette smoke, marijuana smoke, must, sweat, B.O., alcohol, spilled alcohol, ass, puke and anything else you can find in a small-town college basement party. I think I deserve better than that. To quote Chris Rock, "I'd hate to be the one having to pick a wife outta this bunch. 'Daddy, where did you meet mommy?' Well, I met her at the club singing about balls...skeet skeet!" I should be ashamed of myself, but this is a situation that I brought upon myself. This is the only time I wish I had a true older sibling that could've shown me the ropes and how to approach things. Instead, I listened to friends (which was the last thing I should've done looking now at their wonderful situations ), and finally when it was too late to matter, I finally went with my own gut. But it was too late, it was like I had just handed in a failed test. And it's not like I surround myself with these girls that you would be ashamed to be around. My friends are gonna kill me if one of my gals doesn't come and visit. They know all their stories that I tell them, I just don't tell them how I've damn near fucked up all of them. I've got major damage control to do when I go home for summer. I can't do anything for Spring Break, one week is too short, and I have to get caught up wit da fam, but summer, I got my work cut out for me. I've already dropped pursuit of the girl I used to work with at McDonald's because of lack of contact, I might call her one of these days, for the hell of it, but I know a lost battle when I see it. I shoulda just tried to tap it while I was home for that one October weekend. Instead I was chasing another lost battle. What is it with me and going after girls that have no interest in me in that way. It sucks, cuz they all say the same thing, about how they want a guy to treat them right, they want a guy who listens and they basically describe me and then they go after some guy who ends up being an asshole and guess what, they end up crying on my shoulder in the end. If there is anything that is taking years off my life, it isn't my deteriorating relationship with my father, the stress that comes along with being a Cubs fan, living the city life as a well-off minority, or the life of a college student, but instead, my downfall will end up being my relationship (or lack there of) with women. Drive me fucking CRAZY! I am currently sitting here shaking my head in disgust of my own self. Hell, I don't even want a random one night stand, because that's not my style, I want soemthing, something of substance. But I'm in the mecca known as friggin Carbondale. I HAVE NOTHING TO WORK WITH HERE PEOPLE! Unlike DePaul, where it is a requirement that you are drop dead gorgeous, where beauty won't cut it, down here, at SIUC, the requirement is that you are either a Hoebag, a potential hoebag, someone who dresses like a hoebag, or something to that extent. Of course you have those exceptions that slip through the cracks, but the good girls, end up outta here quicker than yuppie Cub fans leaving a Cubs-Sox game at U.S. Cell Block 5 (err...US Cellular Field). School isn't about girls, its about getting an education, expanding your horizons and bullshit like that. I've made plenty of friends down here, in fact, if I get married by some miracle, these guys and gals are all invited to come and get crunk cuz they know city folks do it the best. I'll be inviting everyone from small towns like Texaco and Albany to people from the city and the wannabe cities that surround us ;-). I love you all. Wow, I just realized I titled this blog 'A Weekend of Potential'. It has turned out to be another one of SIU Lou's rant and rave sessions. I love it. So to summarize the weekend: Cubs tickets go on sale on-line at 10 am. My friend that used to go to school here arrives around 4 pm. My friend from the U of I arrives at 9:30, we go to the Pit at 10. Saturday: Wake up, shake off any potential hang over, SIU vs. Wichita State (The last home game, Senior Day, Maroon Out, potential conference regular season clincher) and the game is at 1 pm, Rest after the game until 7. Shit, shave and bathe, off to the Pit or Mills (I'm up for something new), thats between 9 and 10. Sunday, my friend leaves ????, Lou works on his paper and on his FAFSA report. Notice I mention nothing about getting laid...welcome to the world of SIU Lou where expectations are like a pregnant ant's stomach...THAT FUCKIN LOW! Holla at a playa when you see him in the street!

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