I Don't Have A Title

Usually I come with witty fun and intruiging titles to these blogs, tonight I say nothing. This week has been hell, this weekend has been upside down and yeah, I've been on a very good high the last few days but today yeah, um I experienced the ULTIMATE buzzkill. Let's recap. Friday, I'm trying to think about Friday, oh yeah there was no Christmas party, that was a kind of yeah that sucked. Though I made the cheesecake and I had me some rave reviews. I had a lot of complements, granted I only had one piece, but yeah, I shared the wealth and yeah everyone loved it, in fact, I made two more today for my guy marcus who himself ate 1/4 of the cheesecake. Him and my roommate damn near ate half of the cheesecake and that was pretty interesting. I spent my night alone again and I weent to bed telling myself that I wasn't going out all weekend and I was gonna spend my weekend playing video games. My roommate and I had a talk Saturday as we listened to our Saluki football team lose their 2nd round playoff game 38-24. He basically convinced me to go out. AND I AM GLAD THAT HE DID BECAUSE I HAD AN AWESOME NIGHT! Never in my life would I have believed I would have that much fun at a country western bar in my entire life. I was scared, I thought I would be beaten up, dragged to the woods and then hung by a bunch of crackers. However, I wasn't, the first song they played while we were there was Don't Cha by the Pussy Cat Dolls. Turns out not only does this band cover country songs, they do popular songs too. So that was great cuz I danced with Kristin. Oh, let me set the scene it was Me, my roommate, his girlfriend, two of her friends, and steve. So yeah, I had a great time. The first song they played was Don't Cha. The second song they played was my favorite country song: How I'm Doin by Dierks Bentley. I sang that song at the toop of my lungs like it ws no one's business. The second song they played was I Got Friends In Low Places by Garth Brooks. I love that song and we sang that in a group circle and yeah it was fun. Throughout the night I was singing and dancing and in fact there were a couple of occasions in which I was part of a Lu sandwich between two girls. Throught the night also me and the guys well I guess it was only me hoos and steve. We talked about all of the scenery, because of my absolute love for country girls. There were points in the night where I couldn't even look at the dance floor because of all of the girls, I imagined all of the things they could tell me with that hot southern drawl that I'd jump through hoops for. Lets see, um yeah, there was a lot of hot country ass, even some "honky tonk badonkadonks" as the country folk would say because yeah they stole it from the community so yeah whatever. So yeah, I've always dreamt of a southern belle that I could take care of and love and all that good stuff, its just one of those things I want. But as the days go on and as I meet some of these "country girls" I realize that I have no shot at them because I am not anything that they want which really sucks because yeah I'm a really decent guy who treats girls with respect and all and would treat my girlfriend as a queen, but I've never had a chance. It's not my fault, I feel that I've been punished because of my past. That damn past haunts me like a god damned ghost. I wish I could just get one chance. I think I should just resign myself to the fact that I will always be single as long as this is going on. So yeah, also tonight I had a girl tell me that no one loved her and that she was so lonely. Ya know, it drives me absolutely insane because yeah lets take a look at my track record. I've been able to hook up all of my friends with decent girls but never myself because of a myriad of reasons ranging from just friends to lack of sexual experience. The girl I like is currently dating my roommate, and thats partially of my own doing because I put my own feelings to the side and took one for the team. Sometimes I regret that decision, like now. I just wish I could crawl into my hobbit hole and hide away. Last night I left an away message that said "its nights like last night that make me believe that my time will come soon." And now, I laugh at myself, realize how full of shit I am and doubt it more and more that I will ever get out of this rut I currently find myself in. It's like everything that can go wrong has gone wrong and will continue to go wrong. My silver lining the other day was the Furcal signing that was about to happen. Now, Furcal, a Dodger because he's a little BITCH!!!!!!!! Fuck him and those dodger fucks. Fuck LaSorda, Gibson, The Delino DeShields-for-Pedro trade, Gagne, Dodger fandom all those LA FUCKS!!!!!! Fuck Furcal for being a bitch!!!! But yeah, so what do I do, I drink away my problems because yeah, I was pretty drinky and am pretty drinky!