Sunday, January 22, 2006

2nd Post of the night

And with my second post of the night, let's play my favorite game WHY DO I... where i finish the sentence/statement WHY DO I?

WHY DO I...let myself get myself into these situations?
WHY DO I...continuously put myself into a situation in which I am guaranteed to fail?
WHY DO I...continuously fail?
WHY DO I...let myself become optimistic when I know the specific outcome?
WHY DO I...subject myself to failure?
WHY DO I...not learn from the past and accept it as a hint of what's going to happen in the future?
WHY DO I...not react correctly when I KNOW WHAT'S COMING?
WHY DO I...let my surroundings dictate how I feel?
WHY DO I...continue to believe that change is coming?
WHY DO I...not see what's coming to me?
WHY DO I...attempt to change what is seemingly the inevitable?
WHY DO I...always seem to be the butt of the joke?
WHY DO I...always seem to fail?
WHY DO I...even try anymore?
WHY DO I...continue to put up with my own futility?
WHY DO I...think that anyone cares?

I don't know what happened tonight. Actually, I do know what happened, and I do know what didn't happen, and that's what's got me down. I feel like i've been had again. It's like I shoulda seen tonight coming from a mile away and I decided to ignore the signs and I was hoping, but hoping led to nothing, as usual.
So I realize that whenever I need someone to talk to there seemingly is no one around. And when people need someone to talk to, I'm there. Figures that as I sign off for the night, I turn on the TV and there's the 40 year old virgin. Hey, in 6 months, I'll be half way there!

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