Saturday Night at The Pit

Down here in Carbondale, partying starts whenever you want it to. Usually it starts on Thursday, continues on Friday and finishes Saturday night/Sunday morning. According to city laws, you are supposed to party once a weekend. After drinking in the rooms Thursday and Friday, by default Saturday was the night to go out. It was our first weekend back from Thanksgiving vacation to party, and party we did. Cherry pit is the place to be and has been the place to be since the house with the red light was closed after getting busted. But last night, to be honest, it was lame. The music was okay, the alcohol was craptacular, nobody was dancing. It was really boring, it was full of lame ass loser guys who ideal party is standing up against a wall talking about the newsest computer games. For every girl, there was at least 5 guys and thats not really fun, I'm not a big fan of sausage fest. Usually, there are enough girls to dance with, there are awesome danceoffs, awesome music and everyone is going home plastered. I didn't go home plastered, I did go home tired, frustrated and once again...alone. One of these days though, one of these days...
News That Has Been Abused
The number of hispanics in the United States is rising. Rising at such a high pace, according to political expert Kevin Hoos, in 4 years the number of hispanics will overtake the number of whites.
In that same amount of years (4), California will have been officially broken off of the United States at the Las Vegas Border and will be floating in the ocean. Las Vegas insiders say that there will be new oceanfront casinos built in a 72 hour period after the secession of California from the continental US.
According to several news reports, President George W. Bush was arrested by Canadian authorities on the account of War Crimes.
According to international reports, a group of touring senior citizens has gained a new ally in United States foreign exchange college students in efforts to take over the country of France. The French military, or lack thereof, has fallen to the seniors and the students have taken over parliament. This all started when seniors were not allowed their morning walk in the Eiffel Tower and the college students were broke, bored and sober, so there is no better or easier place to get money and wine than in France.
Dorm Rumors
According to reports from unneccissarily overprotected and hysterical health freaks, if you touch a girl while she's naked you will catch chlamydia. If you have sex with her, you will die. Grab some condoms.
If you play in muddy sewer water, you will catch hepatitis and sooner or later will die.
The Supreme Court has struck down cheerleading as a sport voting 8-1. To be considered a sport, there must be scoring (on the field) and balls must be in play (on the field.)
Swimming at night by yourself is not a good idea. An even worse idea is combining water (swimming pool, lake, ocean, pond, etc.) and alcohol and teenagers.
Studying, books and homework in the world of students have all been voted as OVERRATED!