I truly hate feeling like this, it's not a happy feeling. It's just one of those where nothing feels right and the only thing I want to do is sleep because I don't have to deal with 'real life' if I quarantine and regulate myself to my room. I left the apartment ONCE this weekend and that was to go to Wal-Mart, that's it. I reckon I won't be leaving tomorrow except to go to Wal-Mart and pick up buns and the potential liquor run before the football games.
It's been like this for a while, that's why I'm calling it a funk. Every little bad thing is so magnified right now, and it's not cool. On top of that I'm over analyzing everything, granted I hear that runs in the family (my moms and my father do it too) but still, I wish I didn't do that so much. Yes I'm super nit-picky. Yes I'm overly sensitive, but it's just me being me. And the cure for this? Alcohol? Seriously that's the only thing that'd make me happy would be knowing that I'm loaded with booze. It'd probably inspire me to go out and be somebody. Instead I sit around blogging about not being inspired.
You know what's really bothering me is the cheap shots me and my former roommate took at eachother this evening. It wasn't the cheap shots themselves, but now that I think of them I feel really bad about myself. I kinda feel like a loser. We were watching next and I'm oohing and aahing over a pretty girl on the show and he's like pfft loser and I'm like "i'm sorry i don't have a girl in my arms so I'm regulated to fawning over the girls on tv." That's kinda depressing come to think about it. How I spent my Saturday: playing video games, surfing the net, checking out fantasy sports, watching bad college football games, and watching Next. Yep that'll definetly bring in the ladies.
The good news is that football season begins tomorrow and that's great for me because football provides another escape for me. Granted it's only once a week, but it's better than being depressed 7 days a week. Let's just hope the Bears stay healthy and don't play like shit and I will be relatively happy!
I seriously have nothing positive to say whatsoever right now. I feel as if I am a lost cause at this point. Anyone wanna prove otherwise?