Friday, September 08, 2006

Story Of A Lonely Night

Tonight was just one of those nights in Carbondale that you chalk up in the 'L' column. Not because of the day as a whole, but because of how it ended. It started off quite abruptly cuz I woke up with less than a half hour to prepare for the day because I accidently set my alarm clock to wake me up at 7:59 PM instead of 7:59 AM...I woke up at 9 AM this morning. I got to hear a bit of the Drex show, them talking about Paris Hilton getting off on her suspected DUI. No, she didn't get off, the officers of the LAPD got off I'm sure of it. I'm sure she sucked and fucked her way out of this one. *Sighs* the powers of being young, blonde, trashy and easy. Then they played a clip where she was talking about her upcoming music video. She says that she isn't really naked in it, in fact she plays the girl next door. My reaction of course is as follows: "Yeah the girl next door that puts out....FOR EVERYONE!" Yeah Paris, whatever. So you would think that would make my day, but not so fast my friend. My first two classes flew by leaving my ECON test at noon which totally dragged cuz the bitch teacher decided to lecture for some gosh awful reason before the quiz, kinda threw me off. I hope I did good, there's no reason that I shouldn't have because I studied and read and did everything I SHOULD have done. But this is me we're talking about. When was the last time that I did EVERYTHING right, pulled every trick, played every card correctly----AND it came out all good. The stuff that comes after the 'and' in that previous question is key. The answer is nobody has no fucking clue! After that I was pretty happy and all. I walked the city of Carbondale stopping by the bank, quite an interesting day walking past liquor stores and comparing prices. It's a damn shame that I couldn't get any liquor tonight. I can't wait 'til I'm 21. It's a catch-22 for me, becuase yes I'll be able to drink and go to certain Vegas strip clubs, but that's it there's no other age to look forward to. Ages 16, 18 & 19 have come and gone without much fanfare. 20 is a boring tweener number. But after 21, then you spend some time as a twentysomething. Then you move on to being in your 30s, 40s, 50s and hopefully beyond. Birthdays seem just to happen instead of being an event that is highly anticipated. But I didn't want to go off in that rant tonight. Maybe some other night, not tonight.
I also got my package today which included my new razor, some enchiladas, chorizo, chicken and some other stuff. Thanks Mom & Grandma! So once again you'd think I'd be happy.
If you know me you know I'm unhappy. And there is nothing that makes me more unhappy than not being able to control my emotions. I hate going from childhood joy (which was this morning and afternoon) to borderline depression at night. Another productive Friday night where I did a lotta bit of nothing. Played some video games, but just didn't keep my attention tonight. Watched some of the White Sox game until I realized once again that I couldn't stand the White Sox. The Cardinals were playing but I wanted no part of that crap. I caught my favorite part of Kings of Comedy when Steve Harvey talks about "old school" music and how musicians today have failed is that they don't write songs about love. "I don't want my t-shirt wet cuz I got shot. I want it to be wet because I was making love!" And then he plays some Earth, Wind & Fire and what he says to be the greatest love song of all time, Lenny Williams's "Because I Love You." Which I'll admit it is a classic and a top 5 love song of all time, but right now I'll go with the Diana Ross/Lionel Richie duet "My Endless Love" because everyone knows I'm a Lionel Richie mark. But I love that segment because that's one of my classic rants, the "where have all the love songs gone" rant.
All that said, I'm here alone in my room listening to some mellow ass music just because it fits the mood of the night. Bored and lonely. I'm sorry you can't play happy music in a situation where you're not happy. Had I had some alcohol, I probably would have gone out tonight, instead I sit her blogging another one out. I just feel like absolute poo. It's just one of those nights, well in fact it's been one of those weeks where I wish I wasn't here at all where I think I'd be better off in Chicago or somewhere else that wasn't Carbondale.
Until a later time and a later date (hopefully it'll be a happier time and a happier day) toodles from Carbondale.

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