- Why do I continue to write this? It's not like anyone reads this. And if they do read this they don't leave messages or anything. I don't know, but I DO know that I enjoy writing, even if no one reads it because I hold out the hope that eventually, overtime someone will read this. Maybe they'll learn something. Maybe they might have a laugh. Maybe I will look back on these things that I write and laugh at what I was. I wonder if anyone really cares. And I'm not just talking about out there in the vast world of the internet, but I'm talking about my friends. I know my family cares, and I know they want the best of me, but my friends. I don't know, but I DO know that I've ALWAYS been a person filled with many doubts
- So I pulled this thought from a friends blog. It was basically about heartbreak and how it always seems that you can be interested in people but there is NEVER any mutual interest. And then you take a look around and all of your friends seem to have something that you don't have. That especially hits me close to home because everytime I want a girl one of my friends scoops her up and/or scares me away from her. That's why I have no trust in people. Ahh, people what would I do without you? I wish that I could have just put that behind me and move forward and made my own moves instead of putting others interests in front of my own. It seems to me that my friends (when it comes to girls) treat me like a damn second class citizen. It's like they always try hooking me up either with nothing at all or a complete lost cause. I guess I can't blame them for not wanting to hook me up with something better than what they have. But shit, I put myself on the line for them. I digress, because I can go into a major tirade on what I'm feeling right now, but I'd rather not. I guess what I took out of this blog is that it sucks being single, especially when your friends aren't (or they have the experience you don't)!
- Maybe my problem is that my standards are too high, my friends have told me that before. My response to that has always been "Why shouldn't my standards be high?" I'm a good guy with a good personality that is what every girl claims that she wants. I'm truthfull, intelligent, caring and honest. I've proven that I'd do amazing things for girls that weren't even my girlfriend, I've always thought that maybe they'd think "wow, he does a lot for me, imagine how much better he'd treat me if i was his girlfriend." Or maybe girls think that is the peak of what they can get out of me and just settle for being friends. I've ALWAYS been the shoulder to cry on. I've ALWAYS been the guy that listens to the things that boyfriends generally roll their eyes upon hearing and turn their minds to figuring out how they're gonna get in her pants this time. I've ALWAYS been the guy who she tells her secrets to. Well I'm sick of ALWAYS being that guy. I'll put this out there: I won't be the guy who will make her cry, I'm not a heartbreaker by any stretch of the imagination. If a girl wants to talk, I'll listen and when the time is right, I'll respond with an answer that isn't about her boobs or some sleazeball line trying to get into her pants. I want to be the guy she tells all of her girlfriends about. Instead, it's back to reality where I will always be the guy that I mentioned above. I'll always be the third party, nothing major, I guess I'm just gonna have to deal with it.
- What annoys me in the sports world: DUKE OF COURSE! I guess I can be the hypocrite who is a Yankee supporter but not a Duke fan. I've always said that Duke is the spawn of the Yankee empire. They both stand for the same things. The only good thing that they stand for is winning. The rest is simple. Both are monopolistic empires that you either love them or love to hate them. There's a difference between Duke and New York. Yankee fans are passionate people who want a winner and think they deserve a winner because it's the way the Yankees do. Duke people are a bunch of ass kissers that think they deserve a championship because they are the greatest thing to touch earth ever! Not since anything, ever. The Duke faithful is a group of stuck up rich snobs who got everything as children and will continue to get everything as the years go on. That's why I always found it fun rooting for the underdog like North Carolina or the Red Sox. Granted, my love for Carolina begins with the G.O.A.T. (aka Michael Jordan) and all my other favorites like Vince Carter, Jerry Stackhouse, Rasheed Wallace, and then this generations group of studs like Felton, May, Marvin, and the future like Bobby Frasor and Tyler Hansborough. Me and the Red Sox go back because my godfather played for the Red Sox. And Red Sox Nation has always been a distant cousin to Cubdom. A storied franchise marred in curses and bullshit that deprived the team of a winner. Passionate fans with a historical realization that their favorite team plays in one of the three baseball shrines. I always liked what the Yanks were about, which was winning at all costs. It was a respect thing more than anything. Actually, more than that was that I wish Steinbrenner owned my team. I guess I lost course with this blog, but to summarize: I HATE DUKE for the same reasons that everyone hates the Yankees, but what makes Duke different from the Yanks is that Duke basketball is amatures, they're college kids. College kids aren't supposed to be despised, I'm a college kid. Dook sucks!
- I end this blog with these thoughts. Me and my old roommate didn't get along much while we were here at SIU together but we did have the same idiology and that was 'I deserve better.' We differed in the reasoning behind it. He believed that he was owed things. I believe that I deserve better because I've worked on things to hard to not get things.
Good night!
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